Murphy Becky - A real guide to really getting it together once and for all (really)

SOMETIMES BEING A GIRL SUCKS. A lot. Take it fromAshley Rickards, star of the internationally popular MTV show Awkward.,who used to be a little awkward herself. Shes been picked on and bullied,binged and purged, financially cut off and lived to tell the tale. But it wasnteasy. Throughout the whole process, she felt alone, scared, confused and sortahungry. Sound familiar?

Well, RELAX. Ashley is here to share all kinds ofstories, advice and corny jokes to help get you through it all, kind of like thecool big sister you never had (or wish your sister was). Plus, professionalexperts like spiritual coach Deepak Chopra, finance expert Zac Bissonnette andcelebrity trainer Lalo Fuentes offer their tricks of the trade and behind-the-scenes secrets so youll be well-versed in Pretty Much Everything AboutEverything.

Youll learn stuff like:

• How to discover your talents and go after what you really want
• How to eat right and work out for your body type
• All the skin/hair/makeup/fashion tips youll ever need to look like a rockstar (or other kind of star)
• Decorating your room to suit your style and organizing your crap so youreon top of life
• Tips for making, saving and spending money
• Getting along with your family and friendsno drama allowed
• Most important: how to learn to love yourself (seriously, guys)

Whatever you need to know, A Real Guide to Really Getting ItTogether Once and for All has it all so that you can discover your true self,define your own mold and kick ass along the way.

dont know when the first GPS system came out, but I do know that, growing up, I felt pretty friggin lost most of the time. While I eventually found my way to Los Angeles to become the actress and writer I am today, it hasnt always been easy. In fact, as a teenager, I related best to my hamster, Mir, as he jumped on the little wheel in his cage and ran for hours, going nowhere.

I remember looking at myself back then; the girl in the mirror never seemed good enough. I wasnt normal, like the other girls who wore preppy clothes and played soccer. I was overweight with a ball of frizzy hair and a bad case of acne. I liked bugs, played in the dirt with my horses and failed pretty much every math classthree times. Instead of friends, I had stuffed animals, books and Hermie, a conveniently symbolic hermit crab.

Every morning, Id wake up and try to think of ways to escape the stinging pain I felt when people gawked at me. Whether it was my secret crush telling me I had more jelly rolls than a Krispy Kreme, my computer teacher humiliating me in front of the class after I accidentally threw up my anxiety/lunch on the keyboard, or the real-life Mean Girls throwing my stuffed animals into the woods, I felt as though I couldnt get through the day unscathed. This torment went on from eight to eleven years old, and as the feelings of self-hatred escalated with each humiliating experience, I started to shut down.

I would come home after school every day and lock myself in my preteen pink-and-lime-greencolored room. Moseying into the kitchen, stepping over four dogs and a constantly high-strung mother, Id try to find some comfort in a loaf of Sarasota, Floridas best French unfreshly baked bread and butter. I allowed myself to fall down the dark path my bullies were pushing me toward. The way everyone at school treated me became this sort of twisted proof of all the negative thoughts I had about myself. I took one last look at the girl in the mirror, at the girl who was never good enough, and told her good-bye.

During the year that followed, something inside me went cold. I stopped crying because I thought it made me weak. I stopped bringing stuffed animals in my backpack because I thought it made me look weird. I starved myself because I thought my body was disgusting. And in the process, I became the bully. If I was hurting inside, Id criticize someone else. If I wanted something, Id manipulate everyone around me until I got it. When I felt wronged by the Mean Girls who threw lunch trays at me, Id go to their lockers and squeeze fifteen packets of mayo inside to rot in the Florida heat as they finished their lunch. I looked strong on the outside, but I was more miserable than ever on the inside. I thought I liked myself, but I was just playing a misguided game to gain control of my life. I was praised for being skeleton-skinny, dressing like the masses and caking on makeup. But this person I had becomeand the life I hadwasnt real because everything I had built it from was fake. Over time this buildup reached a breaking point and one day, out of nowhere, I found myself looking into the purple magnetic mirror of my newly preppy locker. The girl staring back at me was still the same but, in some way, more complicated. She was hidden behind more layers of shame and false identity than ever before. The minute the bell rang for the next class, I snapped out of it but I couldnt shake the feeling, or rather, the reality, that I had no idea who I was anymore.

Oddly enough, what helped next was being able to take a break from myself entirely. It was that superpowerthe ability to escape who I was and explore any character I chosethat initially attracted me to the idea of becoming an actress. While my first role as a spandex-clad singing eel wasnt my no. 1 choice of identity theft (aka it was a role forced upon me in a school opera), it did lead me to discover what made me truly happy. I remember being backstage one night, applying makeup in a dusty mirror and thinking to myself, Ive never been happier than I am right now, in this moment, about to perform onstage.

I eventually decided to sign up for a Florida-based competition called Talent Rocks. When I got there, I looked around at the three thousand divas-in-diapers and singing contortionists standing in line with me and thought, Thats a lot of people who all want to do exactly what I want to do. I was incredibly intimidated and, before I knew it, the typical insecurities took over. There is no way Im going to win this competition, I said to myself. Rather than withdraw, I thought of how embarrassing it would be to go back home and hide in my room again. So I stayed. And while my Tyra-inspired runway pose didnt win me top honors, I knew I couldnt give up after my first try.

After convincing my parents that a career as an actress was a good idea, I set my sights on LA. What was supposed to be a simple two-week trip turned out to be a complicated whole new life. After a few meetings and getting a manager onboard, I mapped out my own perceived path and just gunned it.