OBrien-Martin - The messy middle: encouraging you through the frustrating gap between where you are now and where you want to be

Encouraging you through the frustrating gap between
where you are now and where you want to be

Stephanie OBrien-Martin

NEW YORK

LONDONNASHVILLEMELBOURNEVANCOUVER

the messy MIDDLE

2018 Stephanie OBrien-Martin

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing. Morgan James is a trademark of Morgan James, LLC. www.MorganJamesPublishing.com

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ISBN 978-1-68350-583-9 paperback

ISBN 978-1-68350-584-6 eBook

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017907495

Cover & Interior Design by:

Megan Whitney

Creative Ninja Designs

megan@creativeninjadesigns.com

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This book is credited to the one who inspired, taught, directed, and refined me through the process of my own Messy Middle: my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without your Holy Spirit, I never would have made it through.

This book is dedicated to the love of my life, best friend, and husband: Christopher Martin. You refused to allow me to give up through the Messy Middle though many times I threatened it. Your belief in and support of my dream and purpose have allowed this book to become a reality.

Have you ever longed to be somewhere different than where you are? Have you always known deep down that you are meant to be much more than what you currently are? Perhaps you have a vision of what you think your life should look like but have no idea how to make it come to pass. Do you have a sense of what you are here to contribute but have no clarity or focus regarding how to achieve it?

In my last year of college, I had a dream of doing great work, similar to someone like Joel Osteen or Dave Ramseythough I did not want to actually be a pastor or financial advisor. I wanted to write books and help inspire others to have the beautiful lives they longed to live. People would ask me what I was going to write about. I had no idea, but that didnt stop me from looking for direction.

To make that dream happen, I chose the profession of social work with the intention of later getting my masters degree and becoming a counselor. I thought that my work would inspire me, and that the contents of this book would just come to me.

But less than two years into my first job out of college, I was very discontent in my job. I was angry and confused because I had been so sure that social work was what I always wanted to do. I was certain I would love that career. Instead, I felt stuck, overwhelmed, and trapped in a line of work I had no passion for. I felt like it robbed me of joy, energy, and life.

I prayed for guidance and revelation for what my new job would be and what my next step was. I still had a strong desire to write a book, and every year that I got closer to thirty years old, that desire grew stronger.

My prayers did not go unansweredin fact, God immediately began showing me the answer to my prayers and began guiding me. Yet, I was blocked from hearing, seeing, trusting, and believing, because to truly follow His will for my life, I had to let go of something that was very important to me at the time, something that I idolized and used as my security. I had a personal situation in my life that kept me from trusting God and walking in my purpose. As soon as I let go of that, my life radically changed for the better.

Six months before beginning to write this book, I started my own business as a career and life coach. Before I started my business, God led me to the 48 Days Coaching With Excellence seminar. I had no idea why I needed to go, but I followed His guidance. After that conference, I came home and immediately started working on my business. Now, I am slowly but steadily building and growing my coaching business. Its been quite a ride.

I had assumed that once my purpose was revealed to me, it would be smooth sailing. Doors would easily open and I would walk in an abundance of favor. I believed that I would immediately reach the levels of success I envisioned. Little did I know that much time, many lessons, and a lot of hard work are involved in seeing ones vision come to fruition.

In this book you will find some stories of people who uncovered their purpose, and the journey they went through to see their dreams come alive. You will also find the path that many successful people have taken through the difficult times. This is a book about transformation and transition. It will serve as encouragement, inspiration, and practical how-to guidance of how to truly let go of the old and receive the new to live the life that Christ died for us to have.

In J.R.R. Tolkiens The Hobbit , we read about a character who had a comfortable life, but who was brought from that state of being into a better life. Bilbo Baggins was a rather content character, and as far as his outlook on life was concerned, everything was idyllic. He did not want any adventures, and the book narrates this sentiment very clearly in his meeting with Gandalf on one fine morning. His life didnt go the way he expected, howeverto the benefit of many.

His nephew Frodo had a very different outlook on the matter of adventure, thanks in part to Bilbos unexpected and unwelcomed adventure years before. Although he also was in love with his homeland, he longed for adventure and wanted to experience for himself something like what his adored uncle had experienced, and had recounted on numerous occasions.

Both Bilbo and Frodo ended up being on very astounding adventures. One wanted adventure; one did not. We can start by taking notice of this.

This book is not a success manual in what has become the traditional sense of the word. There are many such manuals in bookstores and on the Internet. Rather, it is an inside look at what I have come to understand as a hidden obstacle that gets in the way for many of us as we try to chart a path to whatever we consider success to be. As in the lives of the two Bagginses, our own lives take unexpected turns. We plan, but the results are often wildly different than those we planned for. Whats more, the process and journey we take to try to achieve these goals we set also go awry, and in some strange and unpredictable ways.

What I hope to do here is to help the reader recognize this, and not be afraid of it. Success can come to any of us, but the way to achieve it is rarely the way we tell ourselves it will come. I want to talk about this process, especially the most difficult and trying parts of it, as a way to help to those who are trying to chart their path in life and to find joy in living hereand hereafter.

In the introduction, I told you about how I had some plans for my life that seemed very noble and exciting. I dreamed of the results of my great work, and just knew in my mind how wonderful everything would be. As I started to pursue my goal, the path looked bright, true, and actually, everything seemed easy enough at first. Challenges were to be expected but after all, I was going to achieve this Great Work, so a little trouble with a class or an assignment was no big deal. All the stories I knew about successful people had this common element: they had faced challenges and difficulties, but they never lost their way as they moved toward their greatness. Surely that would be my own experience.