Sedley - Stuff that sucks: a teens guide to accepting what you cant change and committing to what you can

Eek, it certainly seems like the System sets us up to be miserable by telling us that were supposed to be happy and positive all the time. The more we try to avoid negative thoughts, the more we have them and the worse we feel.

Put simply, Stuff That Sucks is good stuff! Short and to the point, it can help teens from thirteen to at least forty-nine learn to handle lifes yucky stuff in a way that will help them get to the good stuff. Far from being a stuffy psych book, this is a concise how-to guide to the stuff that really counts: living a life free from getting stuffed by the stuff that sucks.

Benjamin Schoendorff, MA, MSc, founder of the Contextual Psychology Institute in Montreal, QC, Canada; international acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) trainer; and coauthor of the recent The Essential Guide to the ACT Matrix and The ACT Practitioners Guide to the Science of Compassion

I love Stuff That Sucks! It is a pithy, genuine, and skillful application of ACT for adolescents. As a compassion-focused therapy (CFT) practitioner, I think this book is a wonderful way to help adolescents meet the stuff that sucks in their lives with acceptance, self-compassion, and the courageous willingness to get their lives moving toward the things that matter to them. I can guarantee that Ill be using it with my own clients. Highly recommended!

Russell Kolts, PhD, professor of psychology at Eastern Washington University, and author of CFT Made Simple and The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger

Undoubtedly, sometimes life sucks. It can be difficult, painful, and filled with big scary things. And within this realization, opens up a whole new way to approach these experiencesone without constant fighting and struggling with thoughts and feelings that are often out of our control. In this book, Ben brings together the cutting-edge ideas from psychology to help you mindfully choose the life you want. Its written in a simple and fun way to make it useful for young people and parents alike. Written with wisdom and wit, this outstanding book is set to become a self-help classic.

Joe Oliver, PhD, director at Contextual Consulting, and coauthor of ACTivate Your Life

In Stuff That Sucks, Ben Sedley takes the key elements of ACT, and presents them in ways that are immediately accessible, relatable, and actionable. Indeed, I would rate it as a must-have for every adolescents bookshelf.

Tiffany Rochester, clinical psychologist at The Charles Street Clinic in North Perth, Australia

I love this book! Its a great gift for parents to give their teenage kids, and a fantastic resource for therapists working with adolescents. Ben admirably pulls off the hat trick of making ACT simple, practical, and very entertaining. Stuff That Sucks is really stuff that rocks!

Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap and ACT Made Simple

Fast-paced, fun, and useful, this book shows how to deal with stuff that sucks. Its all scientifically based, but youll be having too much fun to notice. This book absolutely, positively, does not suck.

Steven C. Hayes, PhD, codeveloper of ACT, and author of Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life

Ben Sedley has written a wonderful book for teens. A must-have for the collection.

Stuff That Sucks delivers with powerful images, clear messages on what it means to be a human, and lots of ideas for helping teens. A fabulous book.

Louise Hayes, PhD, coauthor of The Thriving Adolescent and Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life for Teens

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

First published in Great Britain in 2015 by Robinson.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2017 by Ben Sedley

Instant Help Books

An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Original book design by Open Lab, Massey University (Catherine Adam, Kalos Chan, and Chloe Johnston)

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Sedley, Ben, author.

Title: Stuff that sucks : a teens guide to accepting what you cant change and committing to what you can / Ben Sedley.

Description: Oakland, CA : Instant Help, 2017. | Series: The instant help solutions series | Audience: Age: 14-18.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016028112 (print) | LCCN 2016048175 (ebook) | ISBN 9781626258655 (paperback) | ISBN 9781626258662 (pdf e-book) | ISBN 9781626258679 (epub) | ISBN 9781626258662 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781626258679 (ePub)

Subjects: LCSH: Affect (Psychology)--Juvenile literature. | Emotions in adolescence--Juvenile literature. | Adolescent psychology--Juvenile literature.

Classification: LCC BF175.5.A35 S33 2017 (print) | LCC BF175.5.A35 (ebook) | DDC 155.5/19--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016028112

Im not claiming to have all the answers for everyone.

I dont know you, so who am I to tell you what will make things better for you?

I do know a lot about psychology, and every day I talk to teenagers about the pain in their lives. But its true, I dont know you.

What I can offer are ideas that work for other people, ideas that are being shown in more and more scientific studies to be effective. And I can try to explain them to you in ways that make sense to young people I work with and may make sense to you as well.

Will these ideas work for you?

I hope so.

But theres only one way to find out, and thats to try them. Try them openly and honestly and if some ideas help then use those ones. If other ideas dont work for you, then read on, and see what else there is. If no ideas help, then keep looking because there are other good ideas out there too. Near the end of this book Ill give some ideas about ways to find further help.

But I know a few things about you.

I know that sometimes life hurts like hell for you. Maybe a bit of the time, maybe nearly every minute of every day is agony. Sometimes the pain is sadness, sometimes worry or anger or shame or grief or some feeling that you dont even have words for.

Everyone has pain. And I still cant imagine how painful it is for you. Because it is your pain, almost as if it is part of you.

And it hurts.

I know your pain makes sense. If Id been through what youve been through (and all the other things youve been through before that) then I could feel the way you do too.