Tomlinson - Music from the inside out: a musicians guide to freeing performance

Copyright 2012 Charlotte Tomlinson

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

Matador
9 Priory Business Park
Kibworth Beauchamp
Leicestershire LE8 0RX, UK
Tel: (+44) 116 279 2299
Fax: (+44) 116 279 2277
Email:
Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador

ISBN 978 1780882 802

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Typeset in Calibri by Troubador Publishing Ltd
Printed and bound in the UK by TJ International, Padstow, Cornwall

Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

To all my students who have been a constant inspiration over the years,
without whom this book could not have been written

I would like to thank the following people:

Jay and Terry Brightwater whose wisdom and emotional intelligence over the years have inspired me in the approach that I have taken in writing the book. Without them, it would not have been the same book.

Judy Dendy for her superb content editing and tireless commitment to high standards. She consistently managed to bring coherence and structure to all my ideas with unfailing support and good humour.

Daniel Davis, Miranda Flint, Jonathon Swinard, Kim Reilly, Samantha Ward, Lucy Dendy, Tom Butcher and Lucy Hare for reading my manuscript and for providing valuable insights.

Alexander Massey who was the first person to help me clarify what I wanted to write through recording interviews and making videos of my work.

Rachel McCombie for her meticulous proofreading.

My parents who have constantly supported me and have always believed I could write, even when I thought I couldnt.

Ive written this book for all musicians, whether students, amateurs or professionals in the classical music world. Ive developed generic principles that a wide range of classical musicians will relate to, whether instrumentalists or singers. Im focusing on the person as a performer, rather than the type of musician they are or the type of instrument they play. This doesnt in any way exclude all the other genres of music I would hope that rock and pop musicians, jazz musicians and any others would find something of value for themselves.

My intention is that the reader should read from the beginning to the end as key ideas have been developed through the chapters. The final chapter, for example, will be a lot more meaningful if the reader has absorbed what has gone before. But it is equally valid to dip in and out because most of the chapters will successfully stand on their own.

My experience has been drawn from my many years of teaching and performing the piano. I have now pulled all this together and work with musicians in a new and different capacity. Just as the horse whisperer listens to and draws out the essence of a horse, Ive developed an equivalent skill in drawing out the essence of a musician, enabling them to play to their full potential. Hence Music from the Inside Out. All the case studies are based on true stories and are from my own experience. Because of this they are largely, but not exclusively, focused on pianists. I have changed names in each instance.

A re you performing to the peak of your ability? Are you expressing yourself fully from your heart and soul? Are you playing music from the inside out?

This book is written for any classical musician who has been devastated by performance anxiety, who struggles with physical problems like tendonitis or who battles with issues of confidence and self-belief.

If you know that pain, anxiety and confusion, then read on. There is hope; it doesnt need to be like this.

Sergei, a 21-year old virtuoso pianist, came to me some time ago with pains in his wrists that had rendered him virtually unable to play. He and his family had left their home in Eastern Europe for the UK when he was sixteen, with the aim of having the best piano tuition he could, to prepare to go to music college and pursue his dreams of becoming a soloist. But despite his best efforts, he failed to get a place at any of the colleges; the pains he was having put a stop to him practising for anything more than thirty minutes a day. When I saw him, he was desperate. He had spent five years trying to get himself better so he could play again. He had seen GPs, osteopaths, acupuncturists and physiotherapists; he had practised and not practised; he had had cortisone injections and had been advised to have an operation, but nothing was working. He had no awareness at all of why he was suffering in the way he was, and thought it was simply a physical problem.

What he needed was someone to join the dots, to help him see that there was an array of complex emotional and psychological issues behind the physical symptoms.

He needed someone to help him unravel these issues, understand them and then support him in taking the steps towards building healthier physical habits and healthier ways of thinking. This is the way I worked with Sergei. This is the way I have worked with an enormous number of musicians over the years. And Ive seen it work, time and time again.

I believe profoundly that if the musical passion is not flowing through a talented musician, we need to understand and work with the whole person.

I had the beginnings of tendonitis as a piano student at music college and it was enough to shock me into action. I felt compelled to get to the bottom of it. Why was it happening? I thought I was enjoying myself. I really loved playing music, I was keen to work and do well, and I loved the stimulation of working with other fabulous singers and players. What I hated was the endless pressure and what felt like constant judgement from all around. I wasnt happy, but I was barely aware of it. On some level I felt that I would be shown up as a failure, as someone who didnt have what it takes to be a professional performer. I needed to understand that there was a connection between my feelings and the inflamed tendons in my arms.

As a professional player and teacher, I started exploring. I wanted to find out more. I studied Alexander Technique, Tai Chi, Yoga and Feldenkrais; I took courses in different types of bodywork so that I could understand the body better and how it reacted to stress. I delved into the whole arena of personal development, fascinated by the connections between our mind, emotions and body. I had the bit between my teeth and I wouldnt let it go. Increasingly my discoveries started influencing my teaching. I spotted musicians with problems even before they knew themselves, helping to get to the root of them before they took hold. Musicians I was working with were starting to get better, were feeling happier, enjoying music more and were playing with delight and freedom. It was inspiring! I began to realise that within me was a real desire to make connections, to see the big picture, and that I love helping other people find that for themselves.