Christopher West - The Love That Satisfies: Reflections on Eros & Agape

To Father Jim Otto, whose
spiritual guidance has been invaluable.

Abbreviations

BMA Bono in Conversation with Michka Assayas (Riverhead Books, 2005).

BNA Be Not Afraid , Andre Frossard and John Paul II (Image Books, 2005)

CCC Catechism of the Catholic Church (Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1997)

CS Closing Speeches, Vatican Council II (Pauline, 1965)

CTH Crossing the Threshold of Hope , John Paul II (Knopf, 1994)

DV Dominum et Vivificantem , John Paul IIs Encyclical Letter on the Holy Spirit (Pauline, 1986)

EKH Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Heaven , Peter Kreeft (Ignatius Press, 1990)

FC Familiaris Consortio , John Paul IIs Apostolic Exhortation on the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World (Pauline, 1981)

FR Fides et Ratio , John Paul IIs Encyclical on Faith and Reason (Pauline, 1998)

GN Good News About Sex & Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions About Catholic Teaching , Revised Edition, Christopher West (Servant, 2004)

GS Gaudium et Spes , Vatican IIs Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World (Pauline, 1965)

HCW How to Win the Culture War , Peter Kreeft (InterVarsity Press, 2002)

KW Karol Wojtyla: The Thought of the Man Who Became Pope John Paul II, Rocco Buttiglione (Eerdmans, 1997).

LF Letter to Families , John Paul IIs Letter to Families in the Year of the Family (Pauline, 1994)

LR Love and Responsibility , Karol Wojtylas philosophical work on human sexuality (Ignatius Press, 1981)

MD Mulieris Dignitatem , John Paul IIs Apostolic Letter on the Dignity and Vocation of Women (Pauline, 1988)

MI Memory and Identity , John Paul II (Rizzoli, 2005)

NM The Nuptial Mystery , Angelo Cardinal Scola (Eerdmans, 2005)

NMI Novo Millennio Ineunte , John Paul IIs Apostolic Letter at the Close of the Great Jubilee (Pauline, 2001)

OL Orientale Lumen , John Paul IIs Apostolic Letter on the Light of the East (Pauline, 1995)

RH Redemptor Hominis , John Paul IIs Encyclical Letter on the Redeemer of Man (Pauline, 1979)

TBB Theology of the Body for Beginners , Christopher West (Ascension Press, 2004)

TBE Theology of the Body Explained , Christopher West (Pauline, 2003)

TJ Tract on 1 John , Saint Augustine

TOB Man and Woman He Created Them: A Theology of the Body , John Paul IIs general audience addresses on Human Love in the Divine Plan (Pauline, 2006)

VS Veritatis Splendor , John Paul IIs Encyclical Letter on the Splendor of Truth (Pauline, 2003)

A CKNOWLEDGMENTS

My thanks to the following men and women who helped me with this book:

Melanie Anderson, Jeanette Clark, Angelique Cummings, Gary Cummings, Bill Donaghy, Brian Gail, Brother Gregory, Meghann Harden, Robin Hatley, Lisa Lickona, Steve Motyl, Matthew Pinto, Lorraine Ranalli, Claudia Roebuck, Maureen Snook, Rose Sweet, Soren West, Jay Wonacott, and Katrina Zeno.

The staff of Ascension Press, who were a pleasure to work with as always.

The prayers and support of my wife, Wendy, and my four children, John Paul, Thomas, Beth, and Isaac, were invaluable.

Introduction

N ot long ago I was pushing the seek button on my car radio looking for a decent song. Station 1: Love me, love me, say that you love me. Station 2: Im keeping you forever and for always, we will be together all of our days. Station 3: When a man loves a woman... As Paul McCartney put it, You think that people woulda had enough of silly love songs. I look around me and I see it isnt so, oh no.

And, yet, in the midst of so many songs celebrating love, there is also plenty of angst coming through the airwaves. Im dating myself here, but do you remember Gloria Gaynors feminist anthem from the 70s? Go on now go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now, cause youre not welcome anymore. It took a decade, but men eventually fired back with an anthem of their own from Bon Jovi: Shot through the heart, and youre to blame. You give love a bad name.

So, are we to agree with the Beatles that All You Need Is Love or with the J. Geils Band that Love Stinks? That would depend, of course, on what we mean by that slippery four-letter word, love . In this book, we will turn to the wisdom of both Pope Benedict XVI and John Paul II in order to shed some much-needed light on the issue of love. Pope Benedict writes,

This book focuses on this last kind of lovethe love that promises such happiness but so often leads to despair; the love that seems to be the epitome of all love but which relatively few people find in a measure that satisfies. Why should this be the case? Why is the love between man and woman so attractive and illusive, demanding and rewarding, restrictive and liberating, painful and ecstatic, messy and beautiful, maddening and fulfilling? Our world is saturated with sex but remains starved for love. Why? Perhaps, as Waylon Jennings put it, were lookin for love in all the wrong places, lookin for love in too many faces. Where, then, is the right place and whose, then, is the right face in which to look for love?

By reflecting on key passages from Pope Benedicts grand encyclical God Is Love (Deus Caritas Est) , this book explores these and many other questions with the goal of pointing all who read it toward the love that satisfies.

God Is Love

Encyclical letters are one of the most important teaching platforms of a pope. They express the popes mind on what he personally considers to be a matter of great importance for the Church and humanity. A popes first encyclical does this all the more so, offering an important window into the tone and direction of his pontificate.

Many Vatican observers expected Gods Rottweilera nickname the pope got from his previous job safeguarding Church doctrine in the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faithto use his first encyclical to bark at wayward theologians and crack down on matters of Church discipline. Instead, Pope Benedict wanted hereat the beginning of [his] Pontificateto clarify some essential facts concerning the love which God mysteriously and gratuitously offers man, together with the intrinsic link between that Love and the reality of human love (n. 1). Those who give the popes message the attention it deserves will discover that the Catholic Churchdespite all the supposed anti-sex sentimenthas a vision of sexual love far more glorious than anything Sigmund Freud, Hugh Hefner, Britney Spears, or Howard Stern could dream of or imagine. It seems, however, that few people have given this encyclical the attention it deserves. This book aims to help remedy that, exposing the riches of the popes unmined treasure to an audience that might not be inclined to pick up a papal document or may find it difficult to digest on its own.