Dermot Whelan - Mind Full: Unwreck your head, De-stress your life

UNWRECK YOUR HEAD,
DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE

DERMOT WHELAN

GILL BOOKS

For Corrina, Owen, Matthew and Rose.
Okay, and Buddy too!

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

A fter I read this book and put it down, it had fixed whatever block I had harboured towards the concept of meditation. Meditating was something I had tried several times over the years, something I wanted to understand, but, in the end, I had convinced myself that I wasnt one of those people. Now I realise there is no prerequisite character type. Its just for people.

Full disclosure: Dermot Whelan has been pal of mine for over 20 years now. Let me tell you a little bit about him if you dont already know him from the radio or the telly: he has always been funny. I mean funny to the point of thinking you might not be able to breathe because you are laughing so much.

He is also an excellent conversationalist, an average drummer, a dad, a middle-aged skateboarder and someone experiencing the same stresses and pressures of being alive that we all experience. Above all, he is a generous, kind and curious human being. And I think it is that curiosity that Curiosity is something that can fade as we get older, as we do our bit, accept our lot, knuckle down to the business of life, etc., etc. But it can be a very powerful thing if it is nurtured. For Dermot, it led him to meditation, becoming a teacher and writing this book.

If, like Dermot, you have a curiosity about meditation, about how it works, and about how it can become a very gentle and helpful addition in dealing with the day-to-day, then I reckon youve come to the right place.

This is a lovely, funny, honest book. Like the fella who wrote it.

Cillian Murphy

INTRODUCTION

A year and a half ago, I was performing stand-up comedy to 10,000 people at Dublins 3Arena. If you had told 16-year-old me that this was in my future, I would have spilled my supercan of Coke all over my bubble-toe Doc Martens. But there I was, looking out through the stage smoke at all these little heads looking back. Id got my best mate, Dave, with me and we were on the bill with a bunch of other comedians. Ever since Id seen Monty Python sketches as a kid, Id dreamt of doing something in comedy. And ever since Id entertained my family by doing impersonations of my dad eating chocolate, Id enjoyed the feeling I got when I made a group of people laugh. But this wasnt my sitting room it was the 3Arena! Its where I saw my first concert as a young teenager Huey Lewis and the News. Even if they were woefully uncool, after hearing The Power of Love on the Back to the Future soundtrack I knew I was a fan for life. In fact, I still have the badge I bought at the merch stand that night.

I never dreamt, though, that I would someday stand on the same stage as Huey and/or his News. Yet there I was, all those years later, in a position any performer would be envious of, taking in the sheer size of the venue and what it took to get me here aaaaand it was fine. Like, just grand. Not overwhelming, not life-changing, just grand. I couldnt understand it. Little bits of wee should have been coming out with the excitement of it all, but it felt like I was in Harvey Normans bedding section browsing for a new mattress. The set went well; they were laughing I know because I was aware of the slight delay in the laughter coming back to me in an arena that big. But as I got into my car after the show, I remember wondering why I didnt feel any real buzz. What was wrong with me? The reason any comic does those terrible gigs where you bomb like hell and regret all your life choices is so that, maybe, one day long into the future, you might get a shot at a stage like the 3Arena. Yet there I was, driving home and already thinking about what biscuits we had in the cupboard. I had no answers to why I felt that way. Until the following Tuesday.

I was giving a talk on stress and meditation in a well-known insurance company. I was relatively new to corporate work as a meditation teacher. Sure, I had done hundreds of corporate shows as a comedian, but this was a new departure in the wellness area and I really wanted it to go well. There were 30 people there and it seemed a lot. The room was shallow but ridiculously wide, and I remember thinking if this was a comedy gig Id have been doomed from the start. I gave my talk, and it went really well. The staff seemed to engage with what I was saying and, technically, nothing disastrous happened. I gathered up my laptop and bag and headed for the door.

As I walked out on to the street, I got this enormous rush. It was incredible. It was like every endorphin available decided to have a party and I was the guest of honour. I think I was the happiest person ever to stand on Tara Street. (In fairness, its not a street you generally associate with happiness.) I remember being totally taken aback by the intensity of the positive feelings I was getting. Where was it coming from? This was just a corporate talk with 30 people. Its also fair to say Ive never been particularly fascinated by insurance. But I realised in that moment that it was stemming from a place we have all heard about but that is rarely understood fulfilment. This was what fulfilment felt like. I was doing what I always did standing up, speaking and cracking jokes but this time I had purpose. I had a message. I had something that people could ponder, digest and actually bring into and use in their daily lives. Im not trying to undermine or lessen the power of humour for helping people when theyre struggling, but I was clearly looking to communicate on a much deeper level. That day, I realised that I wanted to bring more of me to the table. There is so much satisfaction and joy in making people laugh and feel good, but I also wanted to share some of the things that dont make us laugh all the time and to use humour to shine a light on the parts of us that we often ignore or fear.

This was why chatting to 30 people in an office gave me more of a buzz than 10,000 people in an arena. There was more of me present. And when we bring more of us to any moment, the experience is so much richer and, well, fulfilling. A sense of fulfilment comes when we can turn up to any experience with so much of our true selves packed in there that we no longer depend on the outside world to give us what were looking for. Sometimes, the dry ice and giant stage can be a distraction from where were actually trying to end up happy and content in ourselves.

I wrote this book because I wanted you to see that it takes very little to bring us to that sense of fulfilment. It doesnt require you to blow up your life and move to Nepal. Tapping into a little bit of silence within yourself may eventually lead you to quit your job and find something more fulfilling, but it may also help you to reignite your passion for the job you have right now. Breathing a bit slower and deeper could create the space for more love in your life or it could remind you that you have all you need right in front of you. Meditation is not a magic wand or a nuclear bomb. It wont instantly make you into Oprah or Stephen Hawking, and it wont suddenly flip your life on its head. What it will do, though, is ease you out of the stress response long enough for you to see what you really need.

I also wrote this book because people kept asking me to recommend a book on meditation and I couldnt really find one that Id like to read. Some are too science-y and others are too religious. Most people just want to feel less meh all the time and dont need two thousand years worth of spiritual teachings to fix that. Of course, some of those ancient texts can be truly life-changing if you are drawn to them, but many of you just want to sleep better, not snap at the kids and feel like you can go to work without punching Leonard from Marketing.