Steven Hickman - Self-Compassion for Dummies

Self-Compassion For Dummies

Published by: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774, www.wiley.com

Copyright 2021 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2021938953

ISBN 978-1-119-79668-8 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-119-79669-5 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-79670-1 (ebk)

1. Chapter 2

1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 3
3. Chapter 14

Its simple really. You just want to be happy and free from unnecessary struggle and suffering. Am I right? I can make that statement so boldly because this is actually true of every human being who has ever lived and ever will live. The issue, though, is that perhaps you are struggling more than you would like. Something doesnt feel right about how you feel, and in particular something doesnt feel right about how you treat yourself much of the time. Perhaps you have a constant virtual companion that provides negative commentary on your every move, often referred to as an inner critic. Or maybe you find yourself feeling isolated and alone or lost in rumination and worry. If any of this sounds familiar, and youve thought that perhaps more self-compassion might help, your instincts are right on target.

When your dear friends have a hard time, struggle, fail, or fall short, you know just how to be there for them, support them, and encourage them. But somehow, when you face the same kinds of challenges in your life, the narrative is different. You beat yourself up, you demand perfection, or you simply surrender, feeling defeated, isolated, and overwhelmed.

But at the same time, there is a part of you watching this all unfold and whispering in your ear that there has to be a better way. That part of you that simply wants to be happy is the part of you that saw self-compassion as a way out of this painful cycle, and it was that part of you that picked up this book. Bravo! Youve made perhaps the most important step you can take toward building a kinder and more productive relationship with yourself.

Self-compassion has been scientifically demonstrated to promote resilience, improve mood, promote nourishing relationships, and motivate people to make positive changes in their life. Most importantly, greater self-compassion promotes joy and satisfaction, and who doesnt want more joy and satisfaction in their life!

I have taken to telling colleagues that I have written the most ironic title in the For Dummies series. Think about it, Self-Compassion For Dummies seems like the ultimate oxymoron (like jumbo shrimp or deafening silence), and really the worst way to start an adventure in treating yourself with kindness and respect. After all, calling yourself a dummy seems a lot like yelling at your kid to make them quiet down.

But taken another way, being willing to purchase a book called Self-Compassion For Dummies means that you are humble and receptive to change, which is actually exactly where you need to be to get the most out of this book.

This book will help you explore the possibility of cultivating a kinder and more supportive relationship with yourself and then guide you through a whole series of exercises, meditations, and reflections designed to help you cultivate greater self-compassion over time. The road ahead will not necessarily be easy, but the potential rewards are significant. Each chapter tackles a different aspect of life and gives you concrete and specific tools and tips for helping self-compassion truly make a difference in your life.

Dont feel confined to progressing through the book chapter by chapter systematically if that isnt your style, but do know that to some degree, each chapter builds a bit on the ones preceding it. And since I have established that you are a humble person by nature, be willing to notice when you feel stuck and simply go back and reread or repractice something that didnt land quite right. You can even go back to previous chapters and reexperience them with fresh eyes from time to time.

Also, feel free to skip sidebars that pop up throughout the book. If the subject doesnt resonate, maybe it doesnt apply to you right now. You wont miss anything crucial if you skip them. Follow your heart and see where it leads. Your practice of self-compassion hopefully wont end with this book, but instead will have only just begun