Fr. T.G. Morrow - Christian Dating in a Godless World

Rev. T. G. Morrow

Christian Dating
in a Godless World

SOPHIA INSTITUTE PRESS
Manchester, New Hampshire

Copyright 2016 Rev. T. G. Morrow

Printed in the United States of America. All rights reserved.

Cover design by Perceptions Design Studio.

On the cover: Young couple walking on a railway (240366466)
Irantzu Arbaizagoitia / Shutterstock.com.

Christian Dating in a Godless World was formerly published by Catholic Faith Alive!, Inc., Pylesville, Maryland, in 2013 under the title Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World . This 2016 edition by Sophia Institute Press includes minor editorial revisions.

Excerpts from Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla, translated by H. T. Willetts. Translation copyright 1981 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, Inc., and William Collins and Sons and Co., Ltd. Reprinted by permission of Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC.

Unless otherwise noted, biblical references in this book are taken from the Catholic Edition of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1965, 1966 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Other Scripture excerpts are taken from the New American Bible with Revised New Testament and Psalms (NAB), copyright 1991, 1986, 1970, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc., Washington, D.C. Used with permission. All rights reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced by any means without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for the United States of America copyright 1994, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. Libreria Editrice Vaticana. English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church : Modifications from the Editio Typica copyright 1997, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. Libreria Editrice Vaticana.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Morrow, T. G., author.

Title: Christian dating in a godless world / T.G. Morrow.

Other titles: Christian courtship in an oversexed world

Description: Manchester, New Hampshire : Sophia Institute Press, 2016. |

Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015040794 | ISBN 9781622823116 (pbk. : alk. paper) ePub ISBN 978-1-622823-123

Subjects: LCSH: Sex Religious aspects Catholic Church. |

Courtship Religious aspects Christianity. | Dating (Social

customs) Religious aspects Catholic Church.

Classification: LCC BX1795.S48 M675 2016 | DDC 241/.6765 dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015040794

Contents

Appendix A:

Appendix B:

About the Author

Acknowledgments

I wish to thank very much those who helped me in this endeavor: first, Barbara Meng, who so diligently read every word herein and made innumerable corrections; and my theological mentor, Dr. William May, for reading the two chapters on marriage and suggesting improvements; and Mike Aquilina, for so kindly publishing my column on courtship in New Covenant magazine and for suggesting I write a book on this. Sincere thanks also to Pete and Barbara DiGioia and their family for allowing me to use their house at the beach to do much of the writing herein; and to Susan Bucheit, Maribeth Harper, Susan Gray, Dori Belmont, and Christine Creech for reviewing several chapters and making recommendations. I am also grateful to Luis Brown and Carolyn Pierce for their contributions, and to Susan Mea. And many thanks to Olga Fairfax, who proofread the entire revised edition with great care.

Note: The names and some incidental circumstances have been changed in the true stories herein to protect the privacy of those involved.

Introduction

Courtship : the pursuing of an intimate friendship to see if marriage would be desirable.

The typical scenario in the United States is for a couple to meet, to start dating seriously two or three times a week or more, to sleep together after the third date, and to get married after about a year and a half. What follows is a 50 percent chance of divorce. ) as well as the bad treatment of women both before and during marriage.

If youre satisfied with all that, I dont think youll like this book. But if you think things have gone awry in the last forty years, that the dating scene is a bit bizarre, and that we need to start over to build a new system for courtship, this book may be just what you are looking for.

If you think we might find some remedies for the sadness we have wrought, by looking to Jesus Christ and his Church, read on. However, I must warn you, whats written here is a bit radical, perhaps as radical as the gospel itself. This book is for those who want to do things the way Jesus would do them, which is a truly radical thing (and always has been). It is written by a Catholic priest for Catholics, but many of other religions have found it useful. I am certain that if you carry out whats written here, you will be happy in this life and happier in the next.

A Priest... on Courtship?

We had been going together for almost a year virtually since we had met. She had blue-black hair with dark Irish eyes and was bright and religious with a sparkling personality. Lets call her Judy McIntyre. We had often talked about the possibility of marriage, so what I said to her that day must have come as a surprise.

Judy, I said, theres no point in our continuing this relationship.

Why not? Her disappointment was evident.

Because Im going to become a priest.

Thus ended my first great romance at age six. I was sure God wanted me to become a priest. Judy and I were both first-graders at St. Gabriels School in Riverdale, New York, and, as I look back, rather precocious.

I continued in that mindset for the next nine years, opting to study Latin in my freshman and sophomore years of high school to prepare for my vocation to the priesthood. Then I discovered girls. I toyed with the idea of marrying and then becoming an Eastern Rite priest, but in time I gave up on priesthood altogether.

So, although I had casually dated on and off through junior high and early high school, in my sophomore year I began to go out more, with the prospect of marriage in the back of my mind. I had my first great love in college (or second, with due respect to Judy). She was a California blonde with a delightful personality and was Catholic, but only marginally. After we had dated for several months, she fell for another student, whom she eventually married.

Then there was Sally in Los Angeles, where I had gone to work as an engineer after college. Another blonde, she had the added appeal of being a devout Catholic. Things began swimmingly, but after a few months, she opted for a pen pal who came back from his army assignment and swept her off her feet.

Finally there was Mary, from Belmont, Massachusetts, whom I met while employed outside Boston. She was from a delightful, devout Catholic family and was devout herself. When she answered my proposal with Probably, I had great hope since my own mother had responded thus to my father when he proposed. However, Marys probably was not as firm as my mothers. Mary eventually married her previous sweetheart, much to my sorrow.

Through the years of dating from the age of eighteen or so until I was thirty-three, I tried to live chastely, and although I dated some Catholics, I mostly dated non-Catholics, foolishly hoping that we could work out our religious differences before marrying. During this time I was saddened by the fact that there seemed to be so few groups in the Church where one could go to meet a good, lively Catholic woman. I remember thinking that if I ever got the chance, I would try to do something to provide help for single Catholics to live chastely and find others who wanted to do the same. (How I would do that as a married man is quite a mystery.)