Linn Winters - Dating Backyard Dogs: A Guide to Christian Dating

DA TING
BACKYARD DOGS

A GUIDE TO
CHRISTIAN DA TING

BY LINN WIN TERS

Copyright 2016 Linn Winters.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION and NIV are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-5261-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-5262-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-5260-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016912866

WestBow Press rev. date: 8/31/2016

Contents

Introduction

You are probably wondering what a guy who hasnt dated in thirty-three years could possibly have to say about dating. Its a great question. Does it help to know that I was a serial dater? I had lots of experience in good relationships and some really bad ones. I watched the people I dated eventually go on and get married. Some of their marriages survived, while others failed miserably. Interestingly, I could have predicted many of those outcomes based on their behaviors while we were da ting.

I also spent seventeen years in youth ministry. Believe me, I saw all kinds of dating; those who resolved to wait until marriage to have sex and those who didnt, couples who fought like cats and dogs, and others who seemingly never disagreed. I saw people who seemed to have nothing in common yet ended up in love, and those with everything in common who broke up. I was able to observe myriads of dating styles and tactics, and now years later its easy to identify what worked and what di dnt.

Maybe more importantly, Ive been a Senior Pastor for the last twenty years and have counseled countless couples at the crossroads of their marriages only to learn that the seeds of their destruction were planted while they dated. Most married people problems are single people problems that they brought to the marriage. If it were possible to roll back time and equip them to make better choices about whom and how they dated, they could have avoided years of pain.

My heart is to share with you the experience a lifetime in ministry has brought me, to give you an advantage that others dont have, and to share what others wish they had known before they said, I do.

Some reasons why you may want to consider reading this book:

If you are in a relationship, and things just dont seem r ight.

You are hoping the next relationship turns out better than the last.

You know someone in an unhealthy relationship, and youre looking for a way to encourage him or her.

No matter your stage of life, I hope you will benefit from learning to identify backyard dogs and use this new knowledge to change your own dating habits and help ot hers.

She pushed the door to her apartment open and tossed her mangled heap of keys onto the counter. They landed with a loud clanging sound like someone had dropped a tray of silverware. The sound bounced between the walls reminding her she had once again returned to an empty apartment. Tara pulled open the refrigerator to survey her dinner options. Everything looked the same. There were leftovers from dinner at her moms on Sunday, but that was five days ago, and the container of chicken and rice was looking beyond soggy. The freezer was full of microwavable meals that all tasted eerily similar when cooked despite their labels promising robust flavors like Chicken Alfredo and three cheese pasta. Tara settled on Mandarin chicken from a frozen box she purchased several weeks ago at Wal-Mart. After two minutes and forty-five seconds, she nestled onto the couch to eat while watching Net flix.

It was amazing that with all those viewing options, there was nothing to watch. On the third time through the directory, Tara finally settled on a movie she had seen several years before but couldnt quite remember the details. Hopefully, it would be more memorable this time. Three hours later, she headed for bed. Teeth brushed and flossed. Make-up removed, and nighttime firming gel applied, she lay in bed waiting for sleep but sleep wouldnt come. The idea that watching television, eating, and working had become the total sum of her life haunted her. She spent her days getting up early, going to an administrative assistant job, daily talking to dozens of strangers on the phone who would forever remain strangers, and finally coming home to an empty apartment, warming up a precooked meal, and watching TV alone until she went to bedalone. Then it occurred to her, an idea of such brilliance it would change everything; why had she not thought of it before? She drifted off to sleep thrilled with possibili ties.

It was Saturday morning, and Tara had the entire day to put her new plan into action. Everything about the morning seemed brighter. Whipping up a smoothie for breakfast, she loaded the dishwasher and gave the apartment a quick cleaning in anticipation of later. She practically skipped out to her car. She had done her research; she knew exactly where she needed to go. The tires to her car melodically hummed along the pavement in a tone that sounded almost anxious. Was it possible that everything was coming into alignment, and her life would be forever different from this moment forward? Could everything really be taking a turn for the be tter?

Tara pulled into the animal shelter, strode through the doors, and marched straight up to the desk. She proudly announced that she was there to adopt a dog! The girl behind the desk smiled and informed her there was paperwork to fill out (multiple pages), and there would be a fee of one hundred and twenty seven dollars to cover spaying/neutering, de-worming medications, a tick and flea treatment, and the first years licensing. This was not going to be as simple as anticipated Tara thought to herself. But a little paperwork never hurt anyone, and what was one hundred twenty seven dollars if her life became instantly more fulfil ling?

Forty minutes later Tara was led to the back room. It was time to make her choice. This might be a little harder than she thought. How could she choose from the hundreds of dogs staring hopefully back at her? She walked down row after row of options. Kennels were everywhere, in some places the cages were even stacked one upon the other up to three high. There must have been more than one hundred dogs; how would she ever choose one?

As she came around the corner of what must have been the fifth row, she saw him. He was absolutely adorable! Her heart was instantly smitten. Whats his name, she asked. Lets see, the girl from the counter replied as she bent over to read a card affixed to the front of the cage. Toby she announced, and in that moment Tara knew.