Judy Keane - Single and Catholic

Judy Keane

Single and Catholic

Finding Meaning
in Your State of Life

SOPHIA INSTITUTE PRESS
Manchester, New Hampshire

Copyright 2016 by Judy Keane

Printed in the United States of America. All rights reserved.

Cover design by Perceptions Design Studio.

On the cover: Woman Walking in Snow (366410939) alexkich / Shutterstock.com.

Biblical references in this book are taken from the Catholic Edition of the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1965, 1966 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Excerpts from the Catechism of the Catholic Church , second edition, 2000 by Libreria Editrice Vaticana-United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Washington, D.C. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Quotes from English translations of papal encyclicals are from the Vatican website (w2.vatican.va) Libreria Editrice Vaticana. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Sophia Institute Press
Box 5284, Manchester, NH 03108
1-800-888-9344

www.SophiaInstitute.com

Sophia Institute Press is a registered trademark of Sophia Institute.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Keane, Judy, author.

Title: Single and Catholic :b finding meaning in your state of life / Judy

Keane.

Description: Manchester, New Hampshire : Sophia Institute Press, 2016. |

Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016012445 | ISBN 9781622822409 (pbk. : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Single people Religious life. | Single people Sexual

behavior. | Catholic Church Doctrines.

Classification: LCC BX2373.S55 K43 2016 | DDC 248.4/82 dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2016012445

Contents

Preface

About a year ago and almost immediately following a broken engagement, nothing could have surprised me more than the call I received from my editor at Catholic Exchange , who asked me, Would you be interested in writing a book for Sophia Institute Press about being Catholic and single?

Not the first post-breakup plan I had in mind. However, I realized that I was tremendously interested and certainly felt qualified to address the subject, given all of my firsthand experience! Then there was the timing. There is nothing like a full-time job and an eight-month book deadline to get your mind off a failed relationship and the plunge back into singlehood. I had to acknowledge, yet again, that God always has a plan as well as an amazing sense of humor!

From the beginning of this project, I knew only one thing for sure; I wanted this book to be about all Catholic singles, not just those starting to date. I have been around long enough to experience the many stages one goes through as a single, and I also know well the many complexities, circumstances, and struggles of the single life of others. Therefore, this is about all of us: those who are just starting out, those who have never married, those who have survived broken relationships, those who have not lived according to the Church but are considering and even trying to find their way back, and those facing single life once again because they have been widowed or are dealing with a separation or divorce. If this was to be a book for Catholic singles, it had to be for all of us who are out there on the front lines, trying to find our way; and especially about how we find our way as spiritual beings while managing everything on our own.

Having been single all my life, I can certainly draw from my own experience in many situations, but there are circumstances and challenges I have not faced, and I am grateful to the many singles who shared their circumstances with me. Consequently, I knew how important it was to include the needs and concerns of those who have endured the pain of a failed marriage and who may be going through the annulment process or struggling with the point of seeking an annulment. I hope that this book also addresses the struggles of those who suddenly find themselves single once again after the death of a beloved spouse as well as the very difficult trials of single parents, courageously raising children on their own.

It was a great gift to me, during a difficult time, to explore what it is to be Catholic and single and why it is more important than ever to live our Faith. I hope you too will come to a greater appreciation of our Faith and the opportunity we all have in seeking this path as well as embracing, with courage and tenacity, what it takes to live according to the truths to which we are called. It is something that Flannery OConner, a well-known Catholic, and single, fiction writer, knew well, saying, The Truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.

Single Catholics make up almost 40 percent of the Church. We may be single but according to those numbers, we are definitely not alone! We are a diverse group and are single due to numerous circumstances, but we share many of the same challenges, and so we have a lot to offer each other. Therefore, I particularly wanted to talk to other singles and hear their stories along with what they have learned. Based on conversations and interviews I had with singles of all ages from across the United States and from various backgrounds and situations, I am able to share the stories of how other single Catholics are finding their way. I also thought it was imperative to hear from our spiritual leaders and to share their concerns and advice for Catholic singles who are under their pastoral care and are a significant percentage of the flock.

I invite my fellow Catholic singles to join me in considering where we are in our journey and to consider the possibilities and opportunities we have when we live by our Faith. Our Faith can help us figure out how to be alone without being lonely and can enable us to recognize that Gods grace is greater than anything life can throw at us. I also want to acknowledge how much is thrown at us as singles, especially these days.

I hope to emphasize the power we have individually and collectively to be a profound and positive influence in the Church as well as in the hookup world we live in. I want to encourage you through the stories of many others like yourselves in this book, to realize that you are not really alone and to explore the countless positive ways in which we can take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually while supporting each other and those around us.

It is also my hope that this book will remind you that you are unrepeatable, irreplaceable, and uniquely special and that your life is about experiencing each moment as it comes rather than anticipating how it will all turn out.

I cant guarantee you that by reading this book, your prince or princess will come to rescue you. Nor can I assure you that loneliness and struggle will no longer be a challenge. But I hope you will be inspired to recognize what your present life can be and realize how important and extraordinary it is for you to be seeking another way to live. Above all, you will learn that you are not alone on this journey.

If you are a practicing Catholic single or are thinking of coming back to the Church after some time away, or even if you are simply looking for greater meaning and more substantive answers in response to the confusing messages of our time, then this book was written for you.

Judy Keane

Acknowledgments

There are always people who contribute to the completion of any book, whether it is through their encouragement, their prayers, their insight, or their advice. Consequently, I would like to thank the following individuals whose contributions have helped me enormously throughout this project.