Mark Van Buren - Your Life Is Meditation

F OR ALL OF my adult life (and a little more), Ive been practicing meditation, mainly in the form of Zen Buddhism. And like many seekers before me, I began my journey seeking after enlightenment or at least what I thought enlightenment was. I thirsted for a grand spiritual experience that would free me from my emotional turmoil, from my confusion, from the uncertainty of my life, from all my fears and sadness, and from a monkey mind that just wouldnt quit jumping around to places I didnt want it to go. I was hoping to find something that would essentially save me from my life, from life itself. I felt isolated and alone, and I wanted to experience oneness and a deep, intimate connection with all things.

This way of thinking created a large gap between my spiritual practice and my ordinary life. It seemed as if I couldnt go on enough retreats, read enough books, talk to enough spiritual teachers, or meditate enough times to attain the peak experiences I was hoping for.

A few years ago on a ten-day silent meditation retreat, I realized I didnt need to attain some big experience. And even if there were such an experience to be had, I couldnt force myself to have it and regardless, it, like everything, wouldnt last. It sure as hell wouldnt save me from being human. As Jack Kornfield says, there is no such thing as spiritual retirement. Eventually you must leave the mountains and come back to the village. And let me tell you, the village is difficult and messy even if youve seen a glimpse of Truth from the mountaintops.

I realized that what I had been searching for all along was an intimate connection to my actual life and I finally woke up to the fact that I was never separate from it to begin with. How could I be? The oneness I was seeking had been here all along. I was already the mystery of life. I realized I was like a poor man sitting on a bucket of money, or a fish searching for the Great Ocean. The veils were lifted and I saw that the only thing separating me from my actual life was myself, my own mind; what I call small-mindedness. Basically, all the self-cherishing thoughts that filter my life experiences through the narrow hole of me, me, me.

From that moment on, and after many more years of practice, study, and contemplation, I finally understood the direction of a true and mature meditation practice. What I had originally believed to be my ordinary mundane existence was, in fact, my sacred spiritual life. I stopped seeking after some magnificent enlightenment experience, and have instead focused my practice on directly experiencing and working with each moment of my life as kindly, deeply, and intimately as possible.

Your life is meditation or it can be. I wrote this book to bridge the gap between meditation practice and daily life but the reality is, there is no gap to bridge. Your practice is always right now, always available. To start to find your way into this, try asking yourself: How am I experiencing this moment? What is this moment asking for? What is my practice right now with these very conditions Im experiencing? One Zen teacher I practiced with for a while used to say, How can I meet this moment to bring the least amount of suffering into the world? Or put another way, How can I meet this moment to bring the most benefit to all beings? When understood in this way, every moment is your practice. Every moment is meditation. Practice is precisely daily life, and daily life is precisely practice.

Through the analogies, stories, inspirations, and reflections in this book, I hope you not only deepen your understanding of what meditation practice truly is about, but also find that each moment of your life is in fact a deep expression of it. Although some amount of formal sitting practice is very important and youd benefit from it every single day, daily life is where your practice is truly and fully embodied.

You may notice the central themes of this book tend to recur frequently throughout and this is how it has to be. As software engineers would say: Its a feature, not a bug. No matter how long you practice you cannot be reminded enough times to open to the here and now, to be gentle to yourself and those around you, and to practice navigating through emotions and thoughts without getting ensnared by them. I can vouch for this! Even with reminders all around me (some of which are permanently inked into my skin!) I still forget. From time to time I get lost and lose my way. So even though the messages may have similar themes, each chapter will have different yet important subtleties to help you deepen your understanding and commitment to a meditative lifestyle. Plus, certain stories may resonate with you better than others. Maybe a difficult concept doesnt make sense with one story but becomes perfectly clear with another. This is another reason for the various ways of teaching similar concepts.

Dont necessarily try to power through this book. I recommend reading a chapter or two a day and each day really try putting the teaching into practice. Each day, keep the theme in your mind, and with your whole being, moment by moment, wholeheartedly reflect on and practice whats been taught. Let each chapters message seep deeply into the marrow of your bones. Become the teachings no separation.

Truly, you have the power to transform your life and the contents of this book can help. I have seen what it can do in my own life and I am no more special than you are. If you practice with wholeheartedness, dedication, and continual effort, you will experience firsthand the liberation this book has to offer. It may not be happiness as you normally understand the word, but more like a subtle and an ever-deepening appreciation and joy for the actual life you are living right now.

I wish you well on your journey.