Dr. Elizabeth Cohen - Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You

Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

Coral Gables

Copyright 2021 Dr. Elizabeth Cohen

Cover and Interior Layout Design: Jermaine Lau

Published by Mango Publishing, an imprint of Mango Media Inc.

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Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You

ISBN: 978-1-64250-556-6

BISAC: FAM015000FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Divorce & Separation

LCCN: 2020940960

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.

This is a work describing personal experiences of the author. Therefore, some names and details may have been altered in order to protect the privacy of individuals. Further, this book is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a trained medical professional. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her mental health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

To Lloyd, Ian, and Grace, the lights of my life

Table of Contents

Dear reader,

Dr. Elizabeth Cohens book Light on the Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You , holds the promise to transform your life if you are going through a divorce. This insightful and empowering book will help you see that while you may be leaving your old way of life, you are about to enter a brand new way of beingone that you never could have possibly imagined. Dr. Cohen empowers you to see that you are not at the end of anything, but instead at the precipice of a birth of a new you through her personal and clinical examples.

There is a fundamental problem today in how we view marriage and divorce that prevents us from embracing the fact that life post-divorce can actually offer an opportunity rather than only despair. Dr. Cohen bravely acknowledges the reality of this common life experience in this book . She expertly explains the need to change the paradigm on divorce. This book will provide anyone going through divorce the tools they need to manage this important life transition.

Few things scare people more than the D word. Religion and culture often make us feel like we are failures for even considering it. As a result, the process of divorce is mired in fear, negativity, and judgment, leaving those who find themselves at its threshold consumed with anxiety. Rethinking what success in a marriage looks like is a critical step in turning around your divorce experience.

It is time to change the paradigm where we no longer define a good marriage as a long one, but instead one which is predicated on growth and expansion. This is why Dr. Cohens book is required reading if you are going through a divorce. Light on the Other Side of Divorce explains how divorce is not an end, nor a failure. Instead, it is now simply a transitionfrom the old to the new and to a world of possibilities. Dr. Cohens personal and clinical experiences showcase how divorce is not about separation from another person per se, but instead a divorce from ones own inauthentic self, ones own old persona. How can becoming your authentic self ever be a bad thing?

Providing clear instructions and tools on how to move away from our archaic definitions of love, Dr. Cohen emphasizes that love is no longer seen through the lens of possession and control, but through freedom. Through detailed and informative examples, Dr. Cohen presents the tools one needs to truly love oneself. Giving ourselves the freedom to grow in vast new directions allows us to do so without guilt or shame. As we unshackle ourselves from cultures many cages of fear, we find ourselves in a new terrain of boundless expansion and growth. This book is a roadmap for turning what is often seen as a deficit as into an opportunity for growth and healing. Once we accept that through this struggle, we will know ourselves more deeply, and no longer be bound by how culture defines us. This is the essence of love. This freedom is our birthright.

What is groundbreaking about Dr. Cohens book is her thoughtful step-by-step approach that transforms our notions of love and marriage. Divorce no longer something to be feared. It is now an opportunity to grow into our new selves and cross the bridge to our new tomorrow.

Dr. Cohens book will help you navigate this new chapter in your life. With her extensive knowledge, approachable language, and practical advice, you will find the comfort and encouragement you need to move forward. This book will become the standard operating manual for those looking to love their lives and reconnect to themselves after divorce.

Dr. Shefali Tsabary

New York Times bestselling author
and clinical psychologist

I wrote this book for individuals going through the difficult experience of exiting a relationship. The pain and confusion at this time does not discriminate. The struggle of life post-divorce overwhelms same-sex, heterosexual, domestic partnerships and beyond equally. And you do not need a marriage license to feel the pain of permanent separation. This book was written to guide anyone through the often painful and traumatic ending of a long-term relationship.

When I was writing this book, I spent a lot of time thinking about who I was writing this for. In fact, I often tried to bring a person to mind by imagining their clothes, home, and desires, and what they wanted from life. I wanted to really see and feel what you, the reader, needed so I could provide the perfect tools for healing as you navigate your life after divorce.

Once I started writing however, I realized that I was not writing for just one person. I was writing for many. I was writing for the woman who chose to leave her marriage and the woman who was told her husband did not love her anymore. I was writing for the man who was completely shocked when his wife asked for a divorce and for the man who was deathly afraid of losing custody of his kids. I was writing for the gender nonconforming person who was experiencing panic attacks after they told their partner they wanted a divorce.

This book was written for the person who asked for the divorce and for the person who is reeling from their partners decision. This is because in my clinical experience, both parties require guidance and healing through the divorce process. Just because someone asked for a divorce does not mean they have processed their feelings or reflected on what they want the next chapter of their lives to look like. For example, research shows women are two-thirds more likely to ask for a divorce and that they are two times more likely to seek therapeutic services. Asking for a divorce does not protect you from pain. Ending a relationship is hard for everyone involved.