Lisa O. Engelhardt - Growing in Patience

Growing in Patience Lisa O. Engelhardt Introduction When I was young, I thought I was a very patient person. I was open to new experiences and different personalities. I felt that I was tolerant of many situations. Then I grew up. I got a job.

I got married. I had children. I grappled with illness. I lost dear relatives and friends. I gained an aging parent. In other words, life happenedmaybe much like your own.

Now, I think I may be one of the most impatient people in the world! I grumble and gripe and occasionally snap. I wonder: Did I have a certain quota of patience and it all got used up? Or can I still somehow learn to tap into that reserve of patience I once felt would never run out? And where is God in all of this? The Bible tells us: God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it (1 Corinthians 10:13). Those are wise and hopeful words for those short on patience, but how do we put them into practice? In researching and writing this book about patience (eminently qualified as I now am!), I have been able to remind myself of the pitfalls of impatienceas well as to learn more positive, productive, and spiritual ways to deal with it. I hope that reading this book will do the same for you. May it be one of the many vehicles God uses in your life to help you to become more peaceful, grace-filled, content, and patient! From the mundaneheavy traffic, bad service, annoying peopleto the seriousfinancial losses, family problems, serious illnesslife seems to breed impatience. Unfortunately, impatience is not a faucet we can turn on or off.

Many vexing things in life we cannot control. Others we can control, but only through special know-how and courage on our part. Still other situations simply require copious faith and forbearance. This book is a guide to cultivating patience. God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. The Serenity PrayerAn exercise that may help you is to get a piece of paper, and in one column make a list of several situations that trigger your frustration.

In a second column, write out some appropriate actions that you realistically can take to lessen your impatience in these situations. Patience is a virtue, and like all virtues, it must be cultivated. You may know laid-back people who seem to have endless patience, but for most of us, patience must be nurtured. It is a virtue which we prayerfully ask from God, and thenby Gods graceseek to put into practice each day. Remember that you always have a choice in how you respond to irritation. Even when youre fuming, you dont have to respond with temper.

Try slowly counting to 10 (this really does work), deep and measured breathing, or channeling your energy into physical exercise. let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger James 1:19Practice saying the Jesus Prayer each time you feel impatient, finding the power in the repetition of this prayer: Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Impatience is often about comparing our present situation to what we think it should be. Things are not going our way or progressing quickly enough. People are not behaving as we think they ought. While normal, this kind of thinking diminishes our capacity for joy, peace, and constructive action. Nothing is perfectnot us, not others, not life.

If we can embrace the present moment just as it is, we can better appreciate what a gift it actually is. The best things are nearest: breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of God just before you. Robert Louis StevensonDo your thoughts often wander toward what ought to be? How can you consciously bring them back to the here and now and find the grace of acceptance? Work or other group settings can be a source of frustration for many people. Some peoples personalities just always seem to set us off. We need to remember that the world takes all kinds, and that our own traits may be off-putting to some other people. We should also consider that an irritating person might be having a bad dayor a bad year.

Each person we meet is likely facing some struggle we know nothing about. It is easy to find reasons why other folks should be patient. George EliotThink of some people who seem to almost always push your buttons. Are you able to avoid certain issues with themissues you know are prone to erupt? Could you strengthen yourself in advance with prayer or meditation? At times, our frustrations can come from not dealing head-on with problems. It can be easier to grouse and complain to our friends than to face conflict directly. People cannot read our minds, and we need to summon the courage and tact to tell them what we need.

While unresolved conflict can cause ongoing tension, disagreement is not necessarily bad. It can open our eyes to other ways of thinking and creative solutions to problems. Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith. Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. Prayer commonly attributedto St. Francis of AssisiReflect on an area of contention you have with someone.

Write an I statement for yourself to express your feelingsfocusing on using the pronoun I rather than you, to avoid casting blame: When____, I feel____. I wish that____. Family frustrations can be daily sources of impatience. Children, by nature, are immature. Remember when you were younghow frightening or over-stimulating life could be. Set clear limits for children and consistently enforce consequences.

If there is friction in your relationship with your spouse, communicate your needs and wants, and dont stockpile grievances. Listen with your head and heart to your partners viewpoint. Lord, give us patience, understanding, and strength as we support and care for each other. Help us to remember that everyones feelings count, and the uniqueness of each of us strengthens all of us. May we believe in the power of forgiveness to heal, and the power of love to carry us through.