William Bridges - Transitions: Making Sense of Lifes Changes

H . L. Mencken hit the nail on the head: Every complex problem has a solution which is simple, direct, plausibleand wrong. Change is the epitome of the complex problem. The internet is the epitome of answers that are simple, direct, plausible, and wrong. If youre looking for the seven secrets to change that you can master by lunchtime, then this is not the book youre looking for.

Theres no silver bullet in this book, but there is some magic. The magic is in how William Bridges changes the conversation, from being about the tactics of change to being about the journey of transformation. I learned that this wasnt about me conquering a challenge and completing a task; it was about me understanding that transition is a constant and unsettling process that offers, as all great heros journeys do, the chance of growth and redemption.

Bridges introduces three phases of transition. Really, though, its more like a reintroduction. You know each of the phases; youve stumbled through them before. But its as though youve been given a pair of night goggles, so you can better see, understand, and navigate the path ahead.

Youre probably on a journey like that right now. My guess is that, at this very moment, as you read these words and breathe in and breathe out, youll be in one (at least!) of the three phases. You might be in the process of ending something, feeling the disorienting experience of something familiar changing, leaving, dying. You might have found yourself at a new beginning, an unknown and uncertain landscape opening up before you. Or perhaps youre in the neutral zone, not neutral in the sense of Switzerland, but neutral in the sense of ungeared, and you feel apathetic and pathetic, drifting and untethered.

Ive come to discover that the neutral zone is a particularly rich place in which to be. Bridges makes the point that we mostly want to hurry through it as fast as possible, to rush head-down through the ambiguity and get it over and done with. Thats exactly how Ive felt, and often still do. But Ive learned to linger. A mentor of mine shared a metaphor that I realize now is about navigating the neutral zone. When youre swimming underwater, she said, the longer you can hold your breath, the more interesting a place youll eventually pop up.

If I could offer up a suggestion here, Ive found that when youre in the neutral zone, one of the most powerful questions to sit with is, What do I want? Its a deceptively slippery question. Go beyond your first answer. Ask yourself again, What do I want? And what else? So what do I really want? When you find an answer that rings deep and clear, you may see possibilities open up, a new beginning appear, a new adventure begin to unfold.

Youll be back, of course. Part of whats makes Transitions so timeless is that the journey it describes is one that we will take time and time again. Were lucky to have William Bridges as a mentor and guide.