Joanna Kleinman - Dethroning Your Inner Critic: The Four-Step Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Empowerment

Dethroning Your Inner Critic

By Joanna Kleinman, LCSW

Copyright Joanna Kleinman, 2020

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the author. Reviewers may quote brief passages in reviews. For permissions, contact the author.

Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional.

Brand and product names are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective owners.

Cover Design: HR Hegnauer

Editing: Maggie McReynolds, Un-Settling Books

Authors photo courtesy of Dana Romano

Advance Praise

"THE #1 MUST-READ BOOK OF THE CENTURY FOR WOMEN! Whether you're struggling with a crisis or a challenge, or you need to safeguard yourself against haters or habitual inner critic BS, this book will help you kiss pessimism and pandemonium good-bye so you can finally be the queen of the castle in your own life! #EnoughSaid?!"

~ Janine Driver, New York Times best-selling author of You Say More Than You Think

Joanna Kleinman has translated her deep well of experience as a psychotherapist into this helpful and supportive guide to self-love. Far from a distant and unreachable guru, Joanna's willingness to share her own journey allows us to trust her guidance and wisdom. Her M.I.N.D. process will help readers notice and disrupt their Inner Critic and come home to their Authentic Self.

~ Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist and best-selling author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back

An engaging exploration of the dialogue so many women have running through our heads. Joanna Kleinman offers a clear-cut, step-by-step method to shift out of your automatic negative programming and into a whole new way of thinking. The ability to shift the lens is transformative.

~ Lois Nachamie, author of So Glad We Waited: A Hand-Holding Guide for Over-35 Parents (foreword by Debra Winger) and Big Lessons for Little People: Teaching Our Kids Right from Wrong While Keeping Them Healthy, Safe and Happy.

We all have that inner idiot who causes self-sabotage and who wants us to live in fear. It can be overwhelming. Joanna has pioneered a method to help you recognize that inner idiot, then exorcise it from your mind, so that you can become who you were really meant to be: a whole, complete, fully expressed, powerful soul. If youre ready to finally break free, this book will give you step-by-step guidance on how to do just that.

~ Rebecca Zung, best-selling author of Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.

To my husband Jon, who is my rock, and my kids Max, Zach, and Amanda, who are my greatest joy and provide me with endless opportunities to practice Dethroning my Inner Critic

Table of Contents

Though this book is being published at the height of a pandemic, its no coincidence that over the last few years, women have been in the throes of a different kind of epidemic the epidemic of listening to that voice. The one that keeps us stuck in our fears. The one that wreaks havoc on our sense of peace and balance. The one that cements us in our negative thoughts. And so begins a vicious cycle that causes our lives to, well, suck.

Admitting your stuckness is the first step toward wiggling your way out of this quicksand you actually allowed your mind to walk you right into.

When others hurt us, were quick to forgive. But when we inflict pain on ourselves, we opt for the harshest punishment. Instead of firing that negative voice in our heads, the one Joanna calls our Inner Critic, we freaking promote it. And give it a raise.

WTF?

That is why you have to read this book.

It can help you rethink how you see yourself in a way you were never, ever taught to think. It can help you erase the BS you trained yourself to respond to. It can help you override the self-doubt and second-guessing and fear and what if thinking.

In a way, you taught your mind to hurt you. In another way, its not your fault. The flaw in your thinking was blatantly passed down from those who came before you, delivered in a package you didnt even recognize about who youre supposed to be. Comparing yourself to an idealized version of a woman who doesnt exist.

Were all guilty, in one way or another.

When I met Joanna Kleinman in 2014, she introduced me to Rita. Rita is my Inner Critic, a familiar stranger who I didnt even realize I had long ago invited to take up real estate in my head.

I was a single mom of two fabulous grown women, and had left a celebrated, 34-year career as a TV producer with NBC News and Warner Brothers to build my dream I call Campowerment.

Campowerment is a transformational playground for women to learn, connect, grow, and take a quantum leap forward. Infused with friendship, lifes grounding lessons, and the spirit of the campfire, Campowerment is an incubator for agents of change who, together, become unstoppable, guided by dozens and dozens of thought leaders and authors and game-changers I met in my three decades of storytelling on TV.

Oprah wrote about Campowerment and blew up our business. We were quickly building a community of women looking to uplevel their lives through the power of playtime.

The day I met Joanna, she had read about what we do and was hungry to hear more. She invited me to share my pride over the thousands of women who had re-ignited their lives at Campowerment, but I talked more about the challenges of running a start-up business. I told her that I wasnt a great businessperson and had to sell my house to keep the lanterns on.

She was horrified. She had been so impressed by what we had built, she expected me to sing its praises. Instead, I beat myself up for what wasnt working. Thats when Joanna introduced me to Rita, who kept beating me up for not celebrating my wins and being so crazy hard on myself.

So of course I invited Joanna to come be an expert at Campowerment in January of 2015.

In her one-hour workshop, I learned how to unhook from Rita. To literally rewire my mind to create brand new emotions that could have me taking new actions, to help me create an entirely different life than the one I had been living. Joanna basically taught me how to tell Rita to shut up and move outta my way.

How?

Imagine you have an on or off switch for your mind. That you could recognize the difference between you and the voice of your Inner Critic, and at any time, switch off your automatic mind and shift into a new mindset with entirely new thoughts.

When you start to think in a way that gets you in touch with who you really are, in ways that you love, and recognize what you already have in your life that youre grateful for, you can silence your Inner Critic. When you pivot and shift into what you already love about your life, you will see that nothing was ever really broken in the first place.

And that will take you to radical self-acceptance, to come from a brand new place of loving and being at peace with yourself so you can start to make new choices that bring joy and peace into your life.

Over the past five years, Joanna has been a regular fixture at Campowerment, and hundreds in our community have had their lives transformed by her process both at camp and in her programs that followed. And now, shes become one of the Founding Members of this virtual community we call Campowerment. Because her program is epic.