Darius Foroux - What It Takes To Be Free

Freedom means living life on your terms. And if you picked up this book, freedom matters to you as much as it does to me. It's the highest form of success. Even though people are different and everyone desires different things, on a deeper level we share the same drive to be free.

Freedom means waking up in the morning and deciding exactly what you want to do that day. No unwanted obligations; no stress. Living free is not a fantasy. In our world everyone can live like that. The world is getting freer every day because of technology, which means we can work remotely and have unlimited access to information that improves our lives.

Even so, most of us are not free. More and more people feel crushed by the weight of obligations, debt, and social pressure. Most of us chase success without knowing what it looks like. To me, theres only one definition of success: Freedom to live your life the way you want without hurting others. Success, or freedom, is not having a job with status, driving an expensive car, looking like a model, going on vacations, or living in a big house.

People who pretend you dont need much to be free are not being practical. Freedom isnt free. They might have a positive mindset, but in real life, we need more than positive thinking to actually be free. We need to build a life and career that allows us to be free. We also need money. Thats why this book is highly practical and covers everything Ive done to become free. Does my definition of freedom resemble yours? I doubt it, because remember, even though most people agree that freedom means being able to live your life the way you want, everybody wants different things.

That brings me to the first lesson Ive learned about freedom: Do not feel guilty about what you want from life. In the past, I always felt pressured to want what others wanted. If your parents want you to become a doctor you think to yourself, Should I become a doctor? Its funny how that works. In reality, you dont want to become a doctor at all. You never even thought about becoming one. And yet, just because your parents want it for you, you give in.

Its the same thing with intimate relationships, which play a big role on the path to our freedom. When a girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, or spouse expects certain things from us, we often give in. We do things we dont want to do because we think its better for the relationship. We do things that are out of our character. We lose face and, as a result, we become characterless. Is that freedom? Is that good for your relationship? No, of course not.

If these things are not bad enough, when it comes to our financial life, were even worse off. Most of us spend too much, have debt, and have jobs we hate just to pay for a lifestyle we dont even like. What brought us to this point? We like nothing about our lives. It seems like were trapped inside someone elses life. Every day is filled with unwanted obligations and tasks that make us miserable.

Freedom is the answer to all these things. But I have to tell you right now that the price of freedom is high. Living the way you want means suffering voluntarily. People will get upset with you, maybe even abandon you. You have to do hard things. But on the other side of suffering is freedom. Its a place very few people reach in life. Is it worth trying to get there? Absolutely. And if youre reading this book, you probably agree. Whether youre held captive by success or failure, I invite you to join me in freedom.

My journey began four years ago when I realized I wasnt free. It was a gradual realization. After living unfree my whole life, I woke up one day and thought to myself, I dont want this life. It was a life of fake smiles, frustration, and captivity. I continuously gave into the requests of other people, my partner, family, job, and even society. We behave a certain way because we think thats how we have to behave. We have desires that we think we should satisfybut is that really true? How often do you inspect your desires? Do you do what you do because YOU want to? Or, is it because you feel like you should do those things? And if its the latter, where does that should come from?

Who ever said that we should do all the things we do? Youre free to do anything you want. Thats obvious. But whats not obvious is why youre NOT doing what you want. It has nothing to do with your status or intelligence. I know people who are considered successful in the eye of society, with a lot of money, respect, and wealth. But they are not free to do anything they want. They are a prisoner of their own success. Whether youre successful in the eyes of society or not, you probably know the feeling of being trapped.

How often does it happen that you start chasing something new? Think about a new job or career. Or maybe you want to live in a certain city. Maybe you want to find a romantic partner. You get something in your head, read a few books on conquering fear, get your act together and decide to pursue it. Congrats! You took action. But half way through, you realize you dont even want the thing youre chasing. But despite that realization, you put your head in the sand. You ignore the inner disturbance and keep going even though you dont want that thing anymore, that way of life. All of a sudden you feel restricted by all the obligations youve accumulated. Youre trapped in a life you created.

Lets say you think you want to become successful in the city. You want to live a fast life, make money, go out, and have a fancy lifestyle. You pursue a business degree that helps you get into an organization that pays well. But during those four years in college you acquire debt. Now, you have to pursue a job that pays well, and a big paycheck is no longer a desire, its a responsibility. Along the way you realize you dont want that lifestyle anymore. You hate the pressure, the people, the work, the partiesall of it. But youre already half way through so you think, I cant quit. How could I pay the rent for my apartment in the city, my student debt, credit card debt, and car loan?