Whitney Goodman - Toxic Positivity - Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy

I would bet there are three potential reasons why you picked up this book:

Youve been impacted by toxic positivity and are sick of it.

You dont know what toxic positivity is, but youre intrigued.

You have no idea how positivity could possibly be toxic, and youre determined to find out what absolute blasphemy Im spewing in this book.

No matter what your reason is, Im really glad youre here.

Like many aspiring therapists, I got into the field for reasons I didnt fully understand at the time. I knew I liked helping people, and I was obsessed with learning about their stories. But I would later discover (through the help of my therapist) that I actually wanted to get into the profession because I thought if I learned everything about relationships and the human psyche, I could fix everyone I loved and never feel pain again. Fellow therapists and future therapists, I know you get me here.

So I entered the field wide-eyed and delusional. I was closed off and hardened. I wanted my clients to be vulnerable without having to be so myself. I thought I would fix people, but no one needed fixing; they just needed to be heard and supported. I thought I would be the all-knowing speaker, but Im the listener. I thought I would understand myself and the world, but now I have more questions. I thought Id change everyone around me; instead, I learned the only person I could change was myself. My motivations for entering the field may have been a little off, but wow, Im glad Im here.

I love being a therapist, and Ive always felt a little rough around the edges among my colleagues. Ive never been a meditating, tea-drinking, yoga type of therapist. My voice is too loud, I dont wear cardigans, and I hate all the inspirational quotes on the walls. I tried to make myself softer. I tried to get into the affirmations and all those interventions that tell you to get in touch with your inner child and show it love. I couldnt do it. Thats how Ive felt reading most of the self-help and psychology books out there. They all feel really soft and gentle. I want someone to tell it like it is and to be honest. I had a bit of an identity crisis as a new therapist, and it wasnt until I started posting my thoughts on Instagram as @sitwithwhit that I realized there was value in how I wanted to show up.

On February 1, 2019, I was scrolling on Pinterest and saw so many self-help and inspirational quotes being shared thousands of times. The bright colors and whimsical fonts made me irritated. I felt dismissed and concerned for anyone who might see these while in a fragile state. I started a Pinterest board of happiness and inspirational quotes that bothered me, and have continued collecting them over the years. (That board actually served as the inspiration for the cover of this book.) That same day, I shared one of my first charts on Instagram, listing some of those quotes from Pinterest, referring to them as toxic positivity, and providing some alternative statements that I thought offered more validation and hope. This was my first viral post, and my tiny following multiplied in the wake of sharing this chart. I was shocked by how many people agreed with my perspective and how the phrase toxic positivity resonated. It was also the first time I dealt with significant criticism and pushback online from people who disagreed with my perspective. I have continued creating toxic positivity posts on grief, racism, and other important topics over the last several years, and they are some of my most popular and controversial posts to date. I knew I was on to something but never couldve imagined just how much this topic would resonate with others.