Louise L. Hayes - What Makes You Stronger

Not just a quick-fix self-help book, What Makes You Stronger provides a manual for crafting a more fulfilling life through awareness and values-based action. Based on solid behavioral science as well as uncommon wisdom, this book invites the reader to discover sources of wellness both within and without.

Richard M. Ryan, PhD , clinical psychologist, professor at the Institute for Positive Psychology and Education at Australian Catholic University, and cofounder of self-determination theory

Practical, fun, and comprehensivethis book will provide you with all the tools you need to navigate the complexities and curveballs that life may throw at you. Id highly recommend getting a copy and diving into the wisdom that is set out in these pages.

Joe Oliver, PhD , founder of Contextual Consulting, associate professor at University College London, and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Self-Esteem

This book is truly empowering. Beautifully packed with wise, manageable strategies for living with strength and purpose. It takes you through a compassionate journey that invites you to dream bigto step outside of your comfort zone and build resistance, vitality, as well as meaningful connections. This book teaches you that you are strong enough to carry both fear and uncertainty in building the life you want to live.

Rikke Kjelgaard , licensed psychologist, author, speaker, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) expert, and chief rocknroller and passionate changemaker at www.rikkekjelgaard.com

Written in a highly accessible, practical style, What Makes You Stronger provides a simple set of steps you can take to pursue the life youve always dreamed of having, but perhaps felt you were not strong enough or worthy enough to make it so. As this book beautifully demonstrates, you have at your fingertips all the tools needed to weather lifes unpredictable moments, and at the same time to bond with yourself and the people and things that matter to you in the world. Highly recommended!

Kirk Strosahl, PhD , cofounder of ACT, and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression

Do you sometimes feel that you are living like a zombie, just mindlessly responding to the many demands placed on you? Do you sometimes feel disconnected from your values and your destination? What Makes You Stronger teaches you concrete skills that allow you to become a stronger self and to make stronger social connections. Louise Hayes, Joseph Ciarrochi, and Ann Bailey have produced an approachable and easy-to-read text that will guide you through your life. I highly recommend it.

Stefan G. Hofmann, PhD , Alexander von Humboldt professor at Philipps University of Marburg in Germany, and coauthor of Learning Process-Based Therapy

I opened the pages of What Makes You Stronger and instantly fell in love! Louise Hayes, Joseph Ciarrochi, and Ann Bailey have hit a home run! The engaging work found in this self-help book about creating a purposeful life by building vulnerability, awareness, love, friendship, and flexibility sits right at the feet of vitality. The illustrations are amazing! I can only imagine that each person who reads this work will do nothing but grow, finding their path to meaningful living.

Robyn D. Walser, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, author of The Heart of ACT , and coauthor of The Mindful Couple , Learning ACT , The ACT Workbook for Anger , and ACT for Moral Injury

The DNA-V model is an accessible and memorable way to think about some of the core processes of change that we know are important to psychological health. If you can learn to be more psychologically flexible, your life will change. Like a flashlight on a pathway, this book will help make that journey clearer.

Steven C. Hayes , originator of ACT, and author of A Liberated Mind

This book speaks to all of us who have felt lost, hopeless, or like were simply not enough. It helps develop and strengthen fundamental abilities to develop a meaningful life, abandon useless battles with our own thoughts and feelings, and turn pain into fuel to pursue our deepest longing in life. A must-read also for clinical psychologists. And, by the way, it has a strong scientific base, too.

Giovambattista Presti, MD, PhD , professor of psychology at University of Enna Kore in Italy, and past president of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

New Harbinger Publications is an employee-owned company.

Copyright 2022 by Louise L. Hayes, Joseph V. Ciarrochi, and Ann Bailey

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

All Rights Reserved

Illustrations by Katharine Hall

Interior layout and design by Catherine Adam / Wonderbird Photography and Design Studio www.wonderbird.nz

Cover design by Catherine Adam and Katharine Hall

Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer

Edited by Karen Levy

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hayes, Louise L., author. | Ciarrochi, Joseph V., author. | Bailey, Ann (Psychologist) author.

Title: What makes you stronger : how to thrive in the face of change and uncertainty using acceptance and commitment therapy / Louise L. Hayes, Joseph V. Ciarrochi, Ann Bailey, Katharine Hall.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2022]

Identifiers: LCCN 2022005178 | ISBN 9781684038602 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology) | Self-acceptance. | Acceptance and commitment therapy.

Classification: LCC BF637.S4 H394 2022 | DDC 158.1--dc23/eng/20220414

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022005178

To my brothers, Jeff, Ian, and John, thank you for making me laugh often.
To Jackson, Darcy, and Alana, thank you for cherishing our family.
As always, for life with Mingma: Nga chenbu chegee khorla.
LLH

To Grace, Vincent, and Ann, thank you for filling my life with energy and purpose.
JVC

To my parents, Helen and Grahame; my brother Grant; and my universe, Joseph, Grace, and Vincent. Thank you for your love.
AB

Contents

Acknowledgments

Creating a book such as this requires the work of many. We would like to extend our sincere gratitude to the following people: Katharine Hall from www.kathallcreative.com, for making our words come alive in your illustrations; Catherine Adam from www.wonderbird.nz, for inspiring the design, inside and out; our editors, Tesilya Hanauer and Vicraj Gill, for their guidance on early drafts; Karen Levy, for copyediting; and all of the staff at New Harbinger. Thank you to our early beta readers, Louise Whiting, Alana Ray, Jackson Hayes, and Darcy Hayes.

This work would not exist without the original ACT work written by Steve Hayes, Kirk Strosahl, and Kelly Wilson, and the ongoing support and connection with the community at the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science.

And finally, to colleagues and friends for their encouragement, support, and, most of all, patience over the writing years. Thank you for being there when we call for help. We are blessed with so many wonderful people who use DNA-V in their work and the many clients who share their lives with useach of you makes the hard work of writing this next advance on DNA-V well worth it.