All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2011
Scripture quotations labeled MSG are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Author is represented by The Christopher Ferebee Agency, www.christopherferebee.com .
Endorsements
In Free of Me , Sharon exposes a mind-set that is not only widespread but prevents many of us from experiencing true freedom in Christ: living for self. Drawing on her own journey, Sharon offers deep spiritual wisdom through relatable stories to reveal the peril of self-focus, and she invites readers into a bigger, better story. In a culture captivated by self, this book is a must-read.
Christine Caine, founder of A21 and Propel Women
Free of Me may be one of the most important truths for our times. This is not a book to only readthis is a book to become. Sharon Hodde Miller hands every woman a key with these pages that no woman can afford to pass up. Free of Me is the breaking free every soul desperately seeks.
Ann Voskamp, author of New York Times bestsellers The Broken Way and One Thousand Gifts
Sharon spotlights the crippling disease of self-focus and shows us how to break free from its entanglements. If you want to walk in Gods life-giving truth, this book will help you do just that!
Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times bestselling author; president of Proverbs 31 Ministries
The most deceptive lies the enemy tells us concern how we see ourselves. Free of Me teaches us to see ourselves as God sees us. It is honest, down-to-earth, biblical, faithful, and gospel rich. Sharon writes like she livesauthentically, carefully, and accessibly. I count her a great friend and this a great book.
J. D. Greear, pastor, The Summit Church; author of Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart: How to Know for Sure You Are Saved
Sharons passion in life is Jesus and giving him away to others. Sharon has lived intentionally and her perspective is hard-fought in the trenches of following Jesus and conforming her life to look like his. She is a thoughtful, contagious forceso prepare to love Jesus more.
Jennie Allen, founder of IF:Gathering; author of Nothing to Prove
There is a troubling trend in Christian messages today: gospels which are more about self than Christ. In Free of Me , Sharon takes aim at this false gospel, revealing its emptiness and why it cant deliver. Through personal testimony and scriptural backing, she explains how we can reject these messages and focus on the one true gospel that frees. In these pages, Sharon issues a bold call we all need to hear, which is why I highly recommend this book.
Ed Stetzer, Billy Graham Distinguished Chair, Wheaton College
One of the best things for a healthy marriage, workplace, parent situation, or any calling is to realize the world is not orbiting around our axis. True joy is found when we realize there is a bigger story to tell, and the tyranny of me is actually a terrible slave driver. In Free of Me , Sharon paints this picture more beautifully than anyone I know. I hope you are encouraged as much as I was.
Jefferson Bethke, author of Love That Lasts
Too many books written by and for Christian women are shallow and trivial. This is not one of them. Free of Me provides deep biblical and human understanding and offers the best sort of wisdom: honest, hard-won, and biblically sound. I will be recommending this book widely and enthusiastically to many for years to come.
Karen Swallow Prior, PhD, professor of English at Liberty University; author of Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me and Fierce Convictions The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More: Poet, Reformer Abolitionist
Rarely do I read a book with the powerful combination of eloquence and practical truth, but Free of Me has it. Sharon Miller has woven honest personal stories with steady wisdom in guiding us to the joy that comes from a life of freedom from self. What a gift to our me first culture. This book is a sweet discipling on every page. Im grateful for the message of Free of Me and the lives it will truly set free.
Lisa Whittle, speaker; author of I Want God and Put Your Warrior Boots On
Determined to recover joy she had known and somehow lost, Sharon Hodde Miller set out on a quest to find the root of soul-sapping insecurity that was sabotaging relationships and roles she once loved. What she discovered is deeper than self-help; it is soul healing and life-shifting. In Free of Me , Sharon takes us with her on a gut-honest search for answers to the questions our hearts are asking: What s wrong with me? Why do I feel like I m never enough? Grounded in Gods Word and packed with personal stories, insightful revelations, applicable resolutions, and sometimes humorous yet convicting truth, this message will set you free!
Renee Swope, bestselling author of A Confident Heart
In this honest, engaging, and refreshing book, Sharon adjusts our gaze ever so slightly, but that slight perspective shift makes all the difference. The struggle against chronic self-focus is personal to me, and Im grateful to Sharon for this manual of sorts to help redirect my gaze back to the gospel, to others, to God.
Amanda Bible Williams, author and chief content officer at She Reads Truth
Dedication
To my three great joys, Ike, Isaac, and Coen.
Loving you is Gods kindness to me.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Endorsements
Dedication
Introduction
P ART O NE : S ELF -D ISTRACTED
1. Mirror Girl
2. Forgetting Myself
P ART T WO : S EVEN M IRRORS
3. When You Make God about You
4. When You Make Family about You
5. When You Make Your Appearance about You
6. When You Make Your Possessions about You
7. When You Make Your Friendships about You
8. When You Make Your Calling about You
9. When You Make Your Church about You
Interlude
10. Praise: Why Loving God Sets Us Free
11. People: Why Loving Others Unleashes Us
12. Purpose: Why Your Freedom Has a Form
13. Passion: Why the Humble Are So Free
14. Forgetting Yourself without Neglecting Yourself
Epilogue: Too Small a Thing
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
Introduction