Endorsements
I dont know about you, but for the last few years, I have been doing war with my longing for control. And honestly Ive been losing. One huge part of the problem is that were not having conversations about how the gospel is the balm for our desire to keep it all together. No one is talking about how Gods Word is the lamp our feet so desperately need because were fumbling and falling over our own self-sufficiency. Instead, were praised when playing with the idol of control. Enter Sharon. She is our wise pal, our gentle and knowledgeable pastor friend. With care, curiosity, and boldness shes leading us to lay down control in a kingdom way. I am so grateful. Please read this book.
Jess Connolly , author of Breaking Free from Body Shame and You Are the Girl for the Job
In The Cost of Control Sharon is at her best. Her theologically rich words are wise, helpful, and transformative. Discover the freedom you were created for.
Dr. Derwin L . Gray , cofounder of Transformation Church and author of How to Heal Our Racial Divide
We live in an anxious culture, and at the core of it is our need to be in control. Even more, society disciples us into an anxiety-ridden life, forming us to believe that more control is the solution. With sharp theological and psychological understanding, Sharon shows us how faulty this thinking is and opens a world of insight that we desperately need to loosen the gripor rather be freed from the gripof the illusion of control. This book is a gift.
Rich Villodas , pastor of New Life Fellowship and author of The Deeply Formed Life
Sharon Hodde Miller is a voice every leader needs to be listening to. Sharons mix of confession, theological insight, and observations about the human condition in The Cost of Control are convicting, helpful, and liberating.
Carey Nieuwhof , speaker, podcaster, and bestselling author of At Your Best
I am more and more convinced that self-awareness is a good start on the road to freedom, but what we really need is a trusted guide offering us a path. In The Cost of Control Sharon Hodde Miller skillfully takes a deep dive into controlwhy we want it, how we wield it, and how it gets hold of us. With plenty of study, keen observation, and confession, Sharon offers us a way to explore our own control dynamics so we can be freed from their grip. I appreciate how Sharon first shows us what control offers us (which is why we want it) before showing us the cost of it and ultimately how we can yield it to God. The Cost of Control is timely and essential for thriving nowadays.
Steve Cuss , pastor and author of Managing Leadership Anxiety
You might not think of yourself as a person who struggles with control. Think again. In this illuminating book, Sharon Hodde Miller offers a thoughtful, well-researched guide on the oldest sin of humankind and how that sin infects all of us. Her clarion call to name our control issuesand then to unravel ourselves from themcouldnt come at a better time for our culture. Sharon is a respected truthteller, and the kind of truth she deals in here will surely set you free.
Jennifer Dukes Lee , author of Its All Under Control and Growing Slow
In The Cost of Control Sharon Hodde Miller explains that our need to control everything around us comes with a cost to our spiritual, physical, and emotional health. At a time when so many of us feel out of control, this book will help bring a necessary release. Sharon doesnt just give her advice, she gives you her pastoral presence. What if where you are right now is exactly where God can most lead you?
Heather Thompson Day , author of Its Not Your Turn
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
2022 by Sharon Hodde Miller
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2022
Ebook corrections 10.05.2022
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-3615-6
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Christian Standard Bible, copyright 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible and CSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
Scripture quotations labeled ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2016
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Author is represented by The Christopher Ferebee Agency, www.christopherferebee.com.
Baker Publishing Group publications use paper produced from sustainable forestry practices and post-consumer waste whenever possible.
Dedication
To my parents, Rich and Debbie Hodde.
Whenever my life spun out of control, you modeled Gods steadfast love for me. It has been so much easier to trust my heavenly Father because you showed me what he is like.
Contents
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Preface
Introduction
PART I: WHY We Control
1. The Illusion of Control
2. How We Got Here
PART II: HOW We Control
3. Knowledge and Information
4. Power
5. Money
6. Autonomy
7. Theology
8. Shame
PART III: WHAT It Costs Us
9. Broken Relationships: The Toxic Impact of Controlling Other People
10. Burnout: The Never-Ending Work of Controlling Our Circumstances
12. Anxiety: The Balancing Act of Controlling Our Reputations
13. Exhaustion: The Surprising Striving of Controlling Our Identities
PART IV: The REAL Power God Promises
14. The Power of Agency
15. The One Thing We Can Control
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
Back Ads
Back Cover
Preface
I n the late 1400s, in Heidelberg, Germany, there lived an alchemist, astrologer, and magician named Johann Georg Faust. The details of his life vary depending on the source, but he was well known as a trickster and a fraud. Frequently expelled from cities for performing horoscopes and sham miracles, Faust developed a reputation so widespread and notorious that Martin Luther was said to have speculated Faust had made a deal with the devil.
When he died in 1540, Fausts life quickly became the stuff of legend. Fifty years after his death, the poet and playwright Christopher Marlowe penned The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus , a fictional version of the mans life that sealed his name in history.
In Marlowes play, Doctor Faustus is a well-respected scholar who pursues knowledge as an obsession. Science, medicine, logic, theology, lawFaustus has mastered them all, but none of it is enough. He craves more knowledge and more power, and he dreams of all he can accomplish if he acquires them. So, Faustus turns to the only remaining option available to him: magic.
Soon he begins practicing the dark arts. One day while experimenting with spells and incantations, he summons a devil into his presence, and Faustus sees this as an opportunity. He dispatches the demon to its master, Lucifer, with specific instructions for making a deal. In exchange for his soul, Faustus requests twenty-four years of the demons service, along with absolute power.