Steve Ward - Holy Enigma!: Bible Verses Youll Never Hear In Sunday School

Holy Enigma !

Copyright 2004 by Hamilton Books

an imprint of

University Press of America, Inc.

Lanham - Boulder - New York - Toronto - Oxford

Electronic Book Version Published by:

Steve Ward

Per Amendment to Publishing Agreement dated 4/25/2010:

Author retains right to license, sell, or otherwise dispose of the following rights to the Work: electronic, including CD-ROM, CD-I, or online formats, mechanical, visual and internet, intranet or web formats.

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

Scripture quotations marked (New International Version) taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION, NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (Revised Standard Version) taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Copyright 1952 (2 nd Edition, 1971) by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (Living Bible) taken from The Living Bible, Copyright 1971 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Contents

Preface Introduction

Chapter 1. The Written Word of God?

Chapter 2. Faith, Religion and a Little Humor

Chapter 3. Evolution of the Holy Bible

Chapter 4. Dark Secrets of the Old Testament

Chapter 5. Ancient Enigma

Chapter 6. Mysteries of the New Testament

Chapter 7. The Revelation of Armageddon

Chapter 8. Prayer of Twain

Bibliography

Preface

A few years back, my life changed dramatically. After an exciting, thirty-year career as inventor, entrepreneur, scientist and general-manager, I found myself retired with nothing to do. One day after finishing the New York Times crossword puzzle, I noticed it included an atypical word, B-I-B-L-E. From the depths of my subconscious sparked a pledge made long, long ago amidst the mayhem of calamity. At a family reunion in 1959, my boyish curiosity led me to climb a one-hundred-foot waterfall at Turner Falls, Oklahoma. I was having a great time looking down on the action when my foot slipped on a mossy rock. Suddenly I found myself in the water, vaulting over the edge. As you might expect, life images flashed in a panic-plunge toward the abyss. Somehow, in that short span, I managed a good, long talk with my Maker. I promised God that if he would only allow me to live, I would read every word of the Holy Bible. Hence at age fifty-two, in the year 2000, I resolved it was high-time to fulfill my contract.

Little did I know when I began that marathon, it would be the most exciting adventure of my life. The last thing I expected was to write a book. I mean, tell me, what hasnt been written about the Holy Bible? I started with the Guideposts Parallel Bible , placing four common translations at my fingertips. Only about ten pages into the mammoth text, I came across Genesis 6:1-4. It was an oddball little story about sons of God coming down from heaven to have sex with beautiful earth-women. What? I was shocked! After some forty years of church-going, I thought Id heard every verse in the Good Book . Plowing through the rest of Genesis, I was stunned to find stories of genocide, slavery and mutilation. To index those little conversation starters, I pulled out a spiral notebook and noted each mysterious passage. Some six months later, I found myself staring at four thick notebooks full of ENIGMA, any of which would shock the pants off both the atheist and the evangelical. To this day, I struggle to understand how such lexis could remain shrouded, commonly unnoticed, virtually invisible in the most popular book on the face of the earth.

As soon as it dawned on me that I had a potential bestseller, I began to feel very uneasy with the entire notion of critiquing Gods Word. As a born-again Christian, the very idea of doubting the Holy Bible was foreign to my ethos. About to give up on the project, I met with divine intervention! Suffice it to say, God made it clear I should take a good, hard look at those most bizarre Bible passages, many of which paint Jehovah into a dark, sinister corner. Six more months of research, prayer and consternation resulted in a well defined mission. I would attempt to expose the dogma of inerrancy and every Bible verse with clear potential for misrepresenting Gods will. Faced with my own ineptitude, choked with doubt and struggling to deliver, I got help directly from the Source, the Prime Contractor of the Cosmos. Ill never know why I was chosen for this work, but I consider it a divine calling.

Holy ENIGMA! was three years in the making. It evolved from a humor book, to a theology book, to a philosophy book, to somewhere in between. Because I take my religion seriously and have great respect for the Holy Bible, Ive rewritten this book so many times as to be haunted by the challenge. All my life Ive heard baseless arguments trying to explain away troublesome Bible issues, and it dawned on me that no one had thought to ask God about the Good Book . Ive come to believe the Creator wants us to read, think, take note and stand up for His side of the story. I concluded it might just be helpful to lay all the dirty laundry right out on the table and let readers decide for themselves. Chapters 1, 2 and 3 take on the dogma of biblical inerrancy. Chapters 4, 5 and 6 cover many of the most troublesome passages in the Old and New Testaments. Chapter 7 briefs the entire book of Revelation, and Chapter 8 offers a prayer of reconciliation.

Besides thanking God Almighty, who made this work possible, I would like to thank my readers, Jess Ward, David Felfoldi, Mike and Charlotte Jensen and Sandra McLeod who were greatly helpful bringing the book to its final form. Sandra McLeod edited the original manuscript with great skill and wisdom pushing the work in an entirely new direction, and for that, I am very grateful. Others like James Moore and Jean Marlar put me onto material critical for understanding the evolution of the Holy Bible. In general I would like to thank all those in my life who gave me the courage to go against the current and launch my little skiff into the black froth of Holy ENIGMA!

Introduction

Whether or not youve read the Holy Bible, you will find it entertaining to ponder those mysterious passages which rarely see the light of day. The Bible covers an amazing collection of topics: the creation of the universe, bestiality, young love, table manners, incest, the Ark of the Covenant, bowel movements and the end of the earth, just to offer a few.