Yvonne Orji - Bamboozled by Jesus: How God Tricked Me into the Life of My Dreams

Hey, Boo.

Yes, you! In case you didnt know, someone youve never even met is counting on you. Theyre waiting on your yes, to living your dreams out loud, so that they, too, can dream new dreams and believe in more than their circumstances dictate. No pressure, but pressure. The weight of the world is not on your shoulders, but it should stir you up to know that your life is bigger than the family you were born into or the school you go to, the job you work at or the church you attend. Your sphere of influence is much larger, and God wants to highlight you to nations you dont een know about yet.

Youre gonna be a change agent in your community. The one to break generational curses in your family and alter the legacy of your lineage. God has called, equipped, and empowered you to be youexactly as you are. Think about it: The mother of the Savior was an unwed teenage girl. The second-in-command over Egypt was a former slave. The woman who saved her family from death and destruction was a prostitute. One of the greatest warriors in history was a forgotten shepherd boy. So why cant YOU do dope things? You can! Thats the point. Even without the right connections, youre fine. Even though your funds are low, youll make it. Even when your hope is fading, pick it back up, boo. It gets darkest before it gets the brightest. So, dont give up. Scratch that, I wont let you give up. The world is waiting on your supply. Get to it, fam!

Y.O.

I was born holding my moms IUD (intrauterine device) in my hand.

True story.

After three sons, my parents decided that their baby-making days were over. Clearly, God was like, nah. And nine months later, I defiantly bust outta the womb clutching the very device meant to prevent my conception.

That was my first taste of being bamboozled by Jesus.

I see the look of horror on the face of everyone either using, or contemplating using, an IUD. Relaaaax. That was in the 80s. In Nigeria. Im sure theres been advances in medical technology by now. If not, just name the baby Godswill.

But aint that just like God, tho? Hes out here being the Sovereign Trickster in our lives, acting like the Ancient-of-Days Ashton Kutcher; running round town getting folks Punkd. Personally, Ive fallen for the bamboozlement of Jesus several times.

Like when I was a college freshman, and thought I was gonna live it up. I imagined my days consisting of partying, studying, partying some moreyou know, the basics. Little did I know how quickly those plans would be kiboshed, and suddenly turned into: Attend a Bible study freshman year, commit my life to Jesus, and remain a virgin until I get married. What?! Who agreed to th

Bamboozled.

Insert: TEDx Talk entitled The Wait Is Sexy.

Oh, it didnt stop there.

After graduation, I planned on going to medical schoolthe pinnacle of success for every Nigerian child. Not according to Jesus, it wasnt. One day, out of left field, I heard Him tell me to perform stand-up comedy instead. Well, thats just ridiculous, I thought. Id never done, nor desired to do, comedy, so I wouldnt even know the first thing abou

Bamboozled.

Insert: HBO comedy special Momma, I Made It!

My life today is basically one big walking billboard of how God tricked me into living out my wildest dreams. I aint madd at it, but along the way, I definitely had questions, and a few choice words for Jesus that didnt start with, Dear Heavenly anything! Thankfully, we made it, so like I said, I aint madd at it.

Bamboozling people into a life they never couldve imagined for themselves is kind of Jesus m.o. All throughout the Bible, Hes suckered several unsuspecting targets into a life full of prestige and promise. And by suckered, I mean dragged through struggle and pain before getting to the good stuff. But can you blame Jesus? He, Himself, got bamboozled. God told Him to come down to Earth, perform a few dope miracles (cause who doesnt like a little wine at a party?)but then set Him up for the okie-doke with the whole, die-on-a-cross-for-their-sins thing. Heck, even Jesus own momma, Mary, got bamboozled when an angel rolled up on her like, Hey, gurl, goon ahead and have this here baby. Dont worry about the laws of biology or your boo-thang, Joseph. I gotchyu covered.

Apparently, nobodys safe in these streetz. Errybody can get it.

Being bamboozled by Jesus is low-key, the most frustratingly amazing thing youll ever experience. It aint always sexy, but it is always worth it. But dont feel bad for wanting to tap out midway through. Even Jesus looked for an exit strategy. He straight up asked God, If there be any other way, let this cup pass me by. In other words, Fam, this aint it! While you may want to chuck up the deuces, the only way out is to settle for less than Gods best, and were not about that life.

Before we go any further, I do want to put this disclaimer out there: You do not have to be a Bible scholar or devout evangelical to benefit from the pages in this book. I didnt go to anybodys seminary, nor am I an ordained anything. Im just a young Black chick who entered into a beautiful relationship with a God Ive never met, but who chose to love me in unimaginable ways. So if you dont subscribe to the whole Christianity thing, thats cool. Get in where you fit in. Personally, my faith impacts my success and my life in general, so its hard for me to separate the two, but I promise to keep an open mind and heart, and all I ask is that you do the same. If it makes you feel any better, for every Bible story I tell, Ill throw in a DMX or Cardi B reference for good measure, cuz Im well-rounded like that.