David Keefe - Cool Mind: 11 Easy Ways to Relieve Stress, Boost Self-Confidence, and Improve Concentration in School, Sports, and Life

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2011, 2016 by David Keefe

Published by arrangement with Exisle Publishing Ltd, Wollombi, Australia

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Designed by Jonathan Sainsbury // 6x9design

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Keefe, David, 1966

Cool mind: 11 easy ways to relieve stress, boost self-confidence, and improve concentration in school, sports, and life / David Keefe.First American edition.

pages cm

Originally published in 2011 by Exisle Publishing, Wollombi, Australia.

eISBN 978-0-8348-4005-8

ISBN 978-1-61180-301-3 (paperback)

1. Stress management. 2. Relaxation. 3. Meditation. I. Title.

RA785.K436 2016

158.128dc23

2015021861

Your teacher is putting the exam papers in front of you, and youre starting to stress. You have only a few minutes to get yourself together before the exam begins. How do you stay calm?

At a party, someone you like is walking your way. You always seem to get nervous about dating, so how do you stay cool and not make a fool out of yourself?

Your competitors in the basketball final look pretty determined. Theyre staring you down. How do you stay focused and rise above it all?

Are you fed up with being nervous and full of self-doubt? Do you wonder how you will ever feel confident and comfortable with yourself?

Are you bursting with energy to try something new but feeling the same old nerves and doubts making you freeze up?

If any of these situations seem familiar, then you have found the right little book, because this book is all about the art of relaxing, the art of consciously becoming calm and cool now, to rise above stress. And the good news is its not difficult! Read on and find out.

This book is a crash course in becoming cool and calm no matter whats going on in your life. It only takes a few minutes to fifteen minutes of practice a day to get a Cool Mind.

The term Cool Mind comes from an old saying: with a cool mind and a warm heart. It means that when you act with a clear mind, care, and compassion, youll make decisions that you and others will feel good about. A person with a Cool Mind is not at the mercy of his or her moods, not pushing hard against the flow of life, and not losing control with wild displays of emotion.

We are all born with a Cool Mind, but somewhere along the bumpy road of childhood we begin to cover it over with worries, fears, and concerns. We call this conditioning, and its how we try to protect ourselves from scary emotions. The protective thought patterns stick, and as we move from childhood into adulthood, they just get in the way. In fact, most of the time they just stir up anxiety and other miserable stuff that keeps us stuck in our own drama.

Stress and anxiety mean that worry thoughts are going through your mind in a concentrated way; a Cool Mind will help you release these thoughts and allow you to let go of any worries. There are two main ways to reduce stress and worry in your life:

• Practice the habit of moving negative thinking to more logical, positive thoughts.
• Practice the art of relaxing your mind with meditation techniques.

Cultivating a consciously Cool Mind is, at least in theory, one of the simplest things you can do because you dont have to think. In fact, its all about practicing the art of not thinkingor at least of not thinking negativelyif only for a few minutes at a time.

If you are wondering how it will ever be possible to not think, consider the momentary calm when you sneeze. Sneezing stops thoughts in their tracks, which gives you a glimpse of a quiet mind. Its a calming moment. Coughing and yawning can have a similar effect. So does the presleep phase.

HOW CAN RELAXATION AND MEDITATION HELP ME?

Relaxation techniques are basically all about helping you to find your neutral feeling place. This is the place where theres just you and your body, without stress, without thinking. Your Cool Mind is a calm place, and you can find it any time you need to!

The art of relaxing and getting a Cool Mind lies in learning how to let go. By letting go, you are dropping your resistance to the things that are causing you stress. The more you fight or dramatize the things in your life, the greater your stress. When you reduce your thoughts, you induce relaxation, and when you induce relaxation, you reduce your resistance. When you let go of negative thinking, you momentarily drop your resistance to life. Thats what happens when you go to sleepyou let go and drop your resistance. And thats why sleep feels so good, particularly when you are stressed.

WONT PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER ME IF I JUST LET GO?

Some people think that letting go, or dropping their resistance, must mean losing control. They think theyll become pushovers, but thats not true. Letting go when you need to is the key. Knowing when and how to release resistance to a stressor is what gives you control. A lack of stress does not mean a lack of caringinstead, it means having as clear a mind as possible to apply to the things you care about.

Letting go is about realizing when to give up the thoughts and responses to life that are just causing you tension and worry, such as when youre faced with things you cant really change. For example, if its an exam youre worried about, letting go of the stress and then returning to your studies with a clearer mind and a different outlook will empower you.

Letting go doesnt mean losing control; it means gaining freedom!

Cool Mind is about finding relief in any situation. Finding relief is the essential precondition of calm and happiness.

A Cool Mind will give you more control over your life, no matter what is going on around you. With a Cool Mind, you will perform more calmly and accurately, make better decisions, and look and feel healthier. People will act differently toward you because you will be more balanced and easy to be around.

REDUCING STRESS

Cultivating a Cool Mind reduces the stress that you experience from both outside sources and from within yourself. External stress can come from many placesschool, exams, sports competitions, family issues, social situations, and so on. But here are a few ways we bring it on ourselves:

• Thoughts of being inadequate.
• Thoughts of being unworthy.
• Thoughts of being ugly.
• Thoughts of being stupid.
• Thoughts that the world will end if we dont get 95 percent on an exam.
• Thoughts that say, They hate me.

Stressful feelings in your body are really alarm bells telling you that you have resistant thoughts to what is happening in your life. Stress can manifest itself in the body in many different ways, such as headaches, stomach and digestive problems, back pain, frequent colds, tiredness, difficulty thinking, and the inability to make decisions (the dont know mind). Stress urgently diverts the energy required to keep your mind and body healthy into fight-or-flight chemicals that, over the long term, run your system down.