Robia Scott - Counterfeit Comforts: Freedom from the Imposters That Keep You from True Peace, Purpose and Passion

I was living the dreamor so it seemed.

At twelve years old, I saw the movie Flashdance and from that moment I knew exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life: become a professional dancer. Inspired by the film to look the part, la Jennifer Beals, I immediately permed my hair, cut up my sweatshirts and decided that leg warmers were the perfect accessory for every outfit. (If you remember the 80s, you know what I am talking about.)

I also began taking jazz, ballet and tap classes after school. Within a few years I was offered a dance scholarship at the prestigious Dupree Dance Academy in Hollywood, California, and at age sixteen I landed my first professional job. I was hired as a dancer in singer Debbie Gibsons music video for the song Shake Your Love. Later I was signed by Prince (yes, that Prince) to star as Pearl in all of his music videos for the album Diamonds and Pearls . That led to traveling the world as one of his backup dancers.

After my tour with Prince ended, I felt I had reached my peak of success as a dancer, so at 22 years old, I retired from dance. I transitioned into acting and pursued the craft with the same fervency with which I had studied dance. A year later I began appearing on several popular TV shows.

But something was not right. I had a successful career as a dancer under my belt, and the next one, as an actress, was taking off. I had fame, financial security and everything that was supposed to bring fulfillment, happiness and comfort, but I was definitely not comfortable. I was tormented. I was obsessed with my body image, somewhat the norm for every woman, but being a dancer and actress multiplied the torment exponentially. My thought life revolved around what I ate, how I looked and what I weighed. I had become anxious, worried, fearful, a chain smoker, and though I was making a great living, I was in debt due to excessive spending.

I was a girl who seemed to have it all, and to have it all together. Though I may have appeared confident and in control, I was being controlled by food, controlled by cigarettes, controlled by emotions, and, truthfully, I felt completely out of control. My deepest desire was to find freedom, to be at rest on the inside and feel at ease with myself and with my life.