PRAISE FOR DR. JUDITH ORLOFF AND
EMOTIONAL FREEDOM
Emotional Freedom is a valuable guidebook for anyone who believes that greater possibilities await them but has not yet realized them. Dr. Judith Orloff is a gentle, compassionate expert whose wisdom can lead you to a deeper, more fulfilled life.
LARRY DOSSEY, M.D., author of Healing Words
If you, like myself, wish for a deeper and truer life, a wiser understanding of yourself and your emotions, this book will provide you with answers, with companionship, and, most powerful of all, the clarity and faith of an extraordinary teacher.
MARY OLIVER, Pulitzer Prize-winning poet
This breakthrough book is a lifesaver for people who are frustrated, stressed, and anxious, or who have minds that won't shut off. If you long for more joy, give yourself a gift and read this book!
MARCI SHIMOFF, bestselling author of Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul and Happy for No Reason
I carry around Dr. Orloff's book Emotional Freedom like a bible! I keep re-reading it to remind myself to stay positive and that it is a choice not to go to a negative place. It taught me to feel good about my own sensitivities and deal with difficult personalities without going mad! We have the power to change any negative emotion into a positive one.
ROSANNA ARQUETTE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I'm grateful to the many people who've generously supported my writing:
Richard Pine, literary agent of my dreams
Betsy Rapoport, hardworking and dedicated editor, whose caring was invaluable
Shaye Areheart, publisher, goddess, champion of my work
Thomas Farber and Susan Golant, who helped me define and map out this book
Berenice Glass, my best friend, who laughs irresistibly and with whom I can always speak my truth
Stephan Schwartz, friend, mentor, and Renaissance man
A special thanks for the extraordinary team at Harmony Books: Annsley Rosner, Philip Patrick, Jenny Frost, Kate Kennedy, Katie Wainwright, Kira Walton, Linda Kaplan, Sarah Breivogel, Laura Duffy, Cindy Berman, Jie Yang, Shawn Nicholls, and Karin Schulze.
In addition, I offer my deep appreciation to friends and family for their inspiration, encouragement, life stories, and countless hours spent helping me distill the essence of my message: Ron Alexander, Barbara Baird, Patricia Bisch, Barbara Biziou, Charles Blum, Rabbi Mark Borovitz, Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway, Cary Brokaw, Ann Buck, Janus Cercone, Ilene Connoly, Jennifer Cook, Lisa Davis, John Dens-more, Vic Fuhrman, James Grotstein, Barry Haldeman, Ping Ho, Melinda Jason, Cathy Lewis, Frank Lowree, Michael Manheim, Mignon McCarthy, Meg McLaughlin-Wong, Richard Metzner, Caroline Myss, Daoshing Ni, Mary Oliver, Dean Orloff, Maxine Orloff, Phyllis Ostrum-Paul, Dean Radin, Charlotte Reznick, Jillian Robinson, Harriet Rosetto, Mark Seltzer, Rabbi Don Singer, David Smith, Christina Snyder, James Spar, Ira Streitfeld, Leong Tan, Russell Targ, Roy Tuckman, Niki Vettel, Mary Williams, and Beth Zacher. Finally, my parents Maxine Ostrum-Orloff and Theodore Orloff, still with me, though now on the Other Side.
Finally, I am indebted to my patients and workshop participants from whom I continue to learn so much. I have disguised their names and identifying characteristics to protect their privacy.
CONTENTS
Part One
3. Dreams and Sleep: Accessing Revolutionary States of
Consciousness
5. Combating Emotional Vampires: How to Understand and
Protect Your Sensitivity
Part Two
7. The Second Transformation: Facing Frustration and
Disappointment, Building Patience
8. The Third Transformation: Facing Loneliness, Building
Connection
9. The Fourth Transformation: Facing Anxiety and Worry,
Building Inner Calm
11. The Sixth Transformation: Facing Jealousy and Envy, Building
Self-Esteem
12. The Seventh Transformation: Facing Anger, Building
Compassion
Earth is the right place for love.
ROBERT FROST
INTRODUCTION
EMOTIONAL FREEDOM:
THE SECRET TO SERENITY
I INVITE YOU on a remarkable journey where you can embrace more happiness, peace, and mastery over negativity than you may have ever known. You possess the ability to achieve such emotional freedom; it's closer than you might think. No matter how stressed your life is currently, the time for positive change is now.
Our society is in the midst of an emotional meltdown. People are restless, volatile, our tempers about to blow. In the past year, Prozac was prescribed for over thirty million people. Domestic violence occurs in one out of six households. Fifty percent of drivers who're cut off respond with horn honking, yelling, obscene gestures, or even road rage. Half of our marriages end in divorce.
None of this is how we want life to be. Our pressure cooker society pushes us to our emotional limits. We deserve relief from getting crucified by daily stresses. We deserve to be happier, to be more comfortable in our own skins, to have nurturing relationships. This book empowers you to attain this high quality of life and to handle stress artfully. I'm excited to present practical new tools for mastering your emotions because conventional coping mechanisms just aren't sufficient in our hypertense world. It's lunacy to put up with being chronically anxious, fatigued, or depressed, as so many of us have. I rebel against that cheerless status quo, and hope you will too.
Emotional Freedom offers the answer to reclaiming your happiness and heart. What is emotional freedom? It means increasing your ability to love by cultivating positive emotions and being able to compassionately witness and transform negative ones, whether they're yours or another's. This fundamental living skill liberates you from fear and lets you navigate adversity without going on the attack, losing your cool, or being derailed by it. The result? With true emotional freedom, you can choose to react constructively rather than relinquishing your command of the situation whenever your buttons get pushed, as most people do. This lets you communicate more successfully and gain more confidence in yourself and empathy for others. Then you own the moment no matter whom or what you're facing.