Judith Orloff - The power of surrender: let go and energize your relationships, success, and well-being

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Dr. Judith Orloffs Guide to Intuitive Healing:

5 Steps to Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Wellness

Second Sight:

An Intuitive Psychiatrist Tells Her Extraordinary Story and Shows You How to Tap Your Own Inner Wisdom

Copyright 2014 by Judith Orloff, M.D.

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

www.crownpublishing.com

Harmony Books is a registered trademark, and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

Originally published in hardcover as The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, in 2014.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Orloff, Judith.

The ecstasy of surrender : 12 surprising ways letting go can empower your life / Judith Orloff, M.D.

pages cm

1. Autonomy (Psychology) 2. Dependency (Psychology) 3. Stress management.

I. Title.

BF575.D34O75 2014

158.1dc23 2013037087

ISBN 978-0-307-33821-1

eBook ISBN 978-0-804-13707-2

Illustrations by Jane Whitney

Cover design by Kalena Schoen

Cover photographs: (Sun) Tribalium/Shutterstock; (Clouds) Malija/Shutterstock; (Border) Miloje/Shutterstock

v3.1_r2

FOR MY SPIRITUAL TEACHER

Grace is ever present. All that is necessary is that you surrender to it.

RAMANA MAHARSHI

MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN CONVENTIONAL. I VE NEVER FIT INTO the mainstream. Ive gotten used to being the exception to the rulethe one to whom things happen that dont happen to most people. As a child I had visions nobody could see. I could sense energy no one else could feel: it radiated around everything, from friends to the moon to a lonely discarded tin can. I am and always have been more at home in the dream world than awake. Because I am an empath, my body is highly sensitive in ways that confound what science defines as normal.

Ive gotten used to not reacting like Im supposed to. I get tired of people trying to fit me into some box that has nothing to do with who I am. Ive gotten over trying to pass as normal. Id rather just be my creative, quirky self. Perhaps you can relate to my feelings because each of us is unique, beautiful, lovable, and surprising, spontaneously unfolding moment to moment.

Thats why I was excited about writing a book on surrender. Writing is my passion, an alive, ever-changing meditation. I can happily spend years writing a book, so I asked myself, What do I most want to write about? What do I most want to learn? It has never interested me to just recount what I know. Instead, I write about what I yearn to discover. And my attraction was to the concept of surrender: the ability to be fluid, to bend like a willow in the wind during lifes climaxes and lows. I want to be increasingly able not to clench, obsess, overthink, overcontrol, fight with my life, or let my stubborn streak obstruct my spiritual expansion.

I long to uncover the secrets of the universenot just with my mind but with my heart, soul, and intuition. I want to fly. I want to soar. Who says we dont have wings? I dont care whether anyone says its impossible.

So, with these priorities, I began writing this book. Surrender: it sounded good and it felt really right. I was ready to practice letting go more deeply. However, I didnt fully understand what I was signing up for which I found out included both losses and gains. In the process, life asked me to jump off a lot of ledges and have faith that all would be well. Why did this happen? Stable parts of my world started shifting in unexpected ways that required me to change. Ive had to let go of a lot. For instance, I sold my condo where I wrote all my other books because of unrelenting noise and lengthy construction. Ive exchanged a permanent address for a nomadic lifestyle and a post office box for now. During the move, I chose to give away most of my possessions to make a fresh start. That was just for openers. Then I had to let go of a love who left me; a therapist; many outmoded views about intimacy, including my erotic inhibitions; my obsessive attachment to certain men; and the desire for others to approve of my boyfriends, my intuitive explorations, or anything else. Throughout all this, I surrendered my ego again and again, trusting that a higher compassionate force was guiding me.

Why surrender? Whats the advantage of going beyond your comfort zone? Whether you surrender a little or a lot, youll experience more passion and power. As I did, you can also undergo a rebirth in areas where you may feel bored or stuck. This flux of letting go, not knowing but moving forward anyway is a vibrant process of refining your body and soul. I experienced this, not without fearbut not without hope, either. Ive surrendered as the opposites of fear and joy often pulled at me simultaneously. But I was also melting into the dazzling beauty that was impelling my life. My intuition brought me here. I trust it more than anything. So I allowed myself to be led by my inner voice and by the mystery.

On this journey, Ive discovered theres a strange and wonderful ecstasy that comes from surrendering. It creeps up on you. Then one day you look at yourself and you are shining. You may not know exactly how you arrived here but youre different, and it is a blessing. By surrendering Ive become healthier, braver, more intuitive, more flowing and fun, younger, more untamed, and more spiritually pliant. Ive shed layers of fear and limitations that kept me locked in a life that was no longer large enough for me.

I tell you all this, the revelatory and the challenging parts, to prepare you for the greatest adventure you may ever go on. If youre like mesomeone who wants to become everything you were meant to be and moresurrender is a doorway in. I offer myself as your guide. In this book, I want to share with you what Ive learned about surrender. I want to trust you with my secrets. I cant predict what will happen to you or what you will have to let go of but I do know the result will be pure and good and right, and it will exceed your highest expectations. If youre game, Ill stay there beside you with love.

Hang on and ride the wild dragon of surrender to freedom.

You lose your grip, and then you slip Into the masterpiece.
LEONARD COHEN