Jen Hatmaker - Girl Talk: Getting Past the Chitchat

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2007 by Jennifer Hatmaker

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ISBN-13: 978-1-57683-895-2

ISBN-10: 1-57683-895-1

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Creative Team: Terry Behimer, Karen Lee-Thorp, Kathy Mosier, Darla Hightower, Arvid Wallen, Kathy Guist

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

Unless otherwise identified, all Scripture quotations in this publication are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (NIV). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Other versions used include: the New American Standard Bible (NASB), The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995; the Contemporary English Version (CEV) 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission; THE MESSAGE (MSG). Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2005. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group; the New Life Version (NLV) copyright 1969 by Christian Literature International; and the Holy Bible, New Living Translation (NLT), copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. All italics are the authors. The study is best followed using an NIV Bible.

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For my girlfriends and the ties that bind us chips
and queso, motherhood, Gods Word, laughter,
honesty, a smorgasbord of vices, ministry, road trips,
prayer, transparency, silliness, happiness, and
togetherness. You speak blessings into my life worthy
of heaven. I love you. I treasure you. I thank you.

A cknowledgments

I want to thank my mom and grandma for teaching me the value of girlfriends. Your friends have changed my diapers, raised me, taken me to the ER, cheered at my games, taken vacations with us, cried at my graduations, cried at my wedding, held my babies, and sent me into ministry like I was their own daughter. Thank you for traveling through life with your own girlfriends. I learned well from you both.

Thank you, Brandon, for giving me the gift of time with friends. It doesnt matter that you buy Oreos and Pringles the second I leave; I dont care if the kids take baths or brush their teeth. For the space to be with my girlfriends, thank you. You cant imagine how many conversations theyve taken off your plate. I love you.

Im grateful to my sisters, Lindsay and Cortney. Although fifteen years ago I swore Id never forgive you for ruining all my clothes and embarrassing me in front of my friends, guess what? Were friends now. It really happened. Were so mature and grown-up. I love you.

Thank you to my best people at NavPress: my editor, Karen Lee-Thorp, who is swift and calculating with that insert comment key, Terry Behimer (Ill miss you), Kris Wallen, Pamela Mendoza, Kathy Mosier, Kristen Baldini, Kate Epperson, Arvid Wallen, Eric Grogg, and every other wonderful person who turned this typing into a book and saw that it got to a shelf. You are talented, supportive, fantastic, encouraging. Id love to give you a fat bonus, but as you know, Christian writers dont make any money.

Finally, I want to thank God for coming up with the idea of girlfriends. Salvation, forgiveness, grace, eternity oh, no! That wasnt enough. You gave us the gift of unity, and I, for one, love You so much for that. For forming us to laugh and love, I am utterly grateful. Youre the best Creator ever.

I ntroduction

Welcome, Modern Girls! This might be one of my favorite projects ever. I once thought of the pursuit of holiness as a hodgepodge of repentance, humility, and discipline wrapped tightly in Sunday school attendance, Christian conferences, and three hours of Bible study each day. If I snuck in some fun, well, Id confess it later.

So its been amazing to discover that friendship among women is an avenue to godliness, too. Its not a luxury I should feel guilty about prioritizing. Its not frivolous when we tell funny stories until one friend snorts Diet Coke out of her nose. Its not a waste of time to sit with a friend and have no agenda other than knowing her. In fact, friendship mimics the very intimacy between the Father and the Son.

I had a conversation earlier this year that cemented this subject as my next Bible study. A woman I consider hilarious, approachable, and authentic in every way shared her fear of friendship with me through tears and raw fear. Barely able to get the words out, she kept repeating, I cant. She honestly disclosed the veiled approaches she took with friends. But by the next day, the tears were cleaned up and everything was fine.

My heart broke wide open.

I have yet to get that conversation out of my head.

Oh, Dear Girlfriends, let me help you discover the laugh-out-loud joys of real friendship. Are there some scary parts? Sure. A few. But there are so many wonderful parts that the risk isnt worth losing one day over. Not one solitary day. I dont want to think about taking a single breath without my girlfriends. They fill a place in me that is theirs alone to fill. If I dont let them in, that place will remain empty.

Travel with me during the next five weeks as we cast off what holds us back and put on what leads us forward together. Unity is not just a good idea; its not a bonus addition once you have the time or inclination. It is the design and desire of God. Paul expressed this in his letter to the Philippians: Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose (2:2).

Youll encounter three icons throughout the study representing three different ways to respond. The radio icon indicates a time to dig into the Word, the rearview mirror icon offers a chance to personally reflect on truth, and the telephone icon opens the door to intimate prayer. The questions with asterisks throughout the study are good discussion starters if youll be meeting with a small group. In addition to the book youre holding, youll need a Bible and a lined journal for your answers and journaling activities.