Belinda H. Y. Chiu - The Mindful College Applicant: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence for the Admissions Process

The Mindful College Applicant

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD

Lanham Boulder New York London

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available

ISBN: 978-1-5381-1983-9 (cloth : alk. paper)

ISBN: 978-1-5381-1984-6 (electronic)

TM The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information Sciences Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Youre Going to Make It

If you are anxious about what happens after high school, youre not alone.

I have been part of the frenzy that robs many of you of sleep, leading to early-onset burnout and stymieing the cultivation of compassion. Yet I have also been part of the legions who seek healthier pathways to success.

In this book, I am going to focus on selective institutions of higher education that accept less than 25 percent of their applicants. This is not to say that these institutions are any better or worse than any other, but rather, it is this narrow band of institutions that has helped to drive the level of crazy to new highs. The not-so-great news is: Yes, its a super-competitive process and statistics suggest that, no, the majority of you wont get in. The good news is: Youre going to be OK. The key is to recognize your greater purpose and to be more intentional about choosing the right school for you, and to prepare yourself to thrive there so you can use your education for a greater good.

The sad reality is that education in many ways now follows a consumerist model. You probably know what Im talking about. The joys of kindergarten and grade school, where you got to explore and create, have been replaced by a lot more stress. The focus in education seems to have changed from intellectual exploration and risk-taking to the mindless pursuit of grades, tests, and elite college acceptances. Examples? One New Hampshire school has replaced its summer reading list of great books with a course on drafting Common Application essays. Goodbye, love of literature. In 2014, a New York elementary school made headlines for canceling an annual kindergarten show so that the five-year-olds could make better use of their time to prepare for college and career with valuable lifelong skills. Five-year-olds!

Adding to this loss of learning is the heightened anxiety in what seems to be a shrinking playing field in a zero-sum game of college admissions. As spots in first-year classes remain static for many elite universities, the number of applicants continues to climb. You look at the numbers, your counselors show you the statistics, and your family members share tales from their friends and their friends friends. Getting in seems impossible. And when you ask admissions officers how the selective process works behind the scenes, you probably get the answer: holistic admissions. This blanket term allows admissions officers to make decisions based on any or all information as they so choose. The majority of admissions teams do so with integrity and care, yet the reality is that there are countless other competing priorities and mechanics that are completely out of youror your parentshands. Youre left wondering: What does it all really mean?

Given this seeming lack of transparency about the college admissions process, many students and their concerned ones do almost anything to crack the code and figure out the secrets to getting in. Many turn to the internet, which is loaded with misinformation. Others pay hefty sums to get a leg up from so-called experts. Some of you may have even picked up this book hoping to find the secret sauce.

Moreover, as much as you might sometimes think your teachers are simply exhausted bureaucrats, most of them teach because they love it. They truly, genuinely (stop the eye-rolling) want to instill a love of learning and strength of character in you. Theyre not in it for the money, most certainly. But theyre battling the same pressures you arestandardized testing and performance evaluations. Many face pressures of being evaluated based on how many of you get into college, or even into a certain tier of colleges. Some of your parents may have shelled out a lot of money to live in your current zip code area because your high school was ranked to be the best according to U.S. News & World Report, or to send you to a private school where your annual tuition is higher than your teachers salary (how many of your teachers actually live in your neighborhood?). Others of you may be attending a school where you havent even met your counselor, or where you may not even have one. In short, everyone is under a lot of pressure to get in.

Your well-meaning teachers and parents, who are as human and as susceptible to external pressures as you are, watch you and your friends transform from naturally curious kindergarteners to fearful fifth graders and anxious high schoolers. Some of you now hesitate to take risks because you think one bad grade means no Harvard, and others of you dont even want to try. A young man from a top private school known for building young men and women of character, curiosity, and courage asked me once in private, I really want to go to College X, but I heard its admissions rate is below 10 percent. That means its really hard to get in. Should I not even bother? It is true that a 10 percent admissions rate doesnt work in your favor, and it is wise not to apply only to schools with a 10 percent acceptance rate. However, that doesnt mean you should not try. That young man chose not to stray from a prescribed path of extreme academics and extracurriculars for fear of failure. Sleep and dinner are bonuses.

Sound familiar?

Students like you feel pressure to play the part of the happy overachiever. Social media suggests that success and happiness equate with money, fame, and selfies. Such pressures not only negatively impact true learning but also mental, socioemotional, and cognitive health. A 2015 NYU study showed that nearly half of high school students surveyed reported a great deal of stress, with 26 percent reporting clinical-level depression. Over two-thirds of surveyed high school students manage stress with substances like alcohol and marijuana.

Fantasizing about yourself as one of the fun-loving, relaxed California college students you see on TV? Over 40 percent of U.C.L.A. first-year students reported feeling overwhelmed. noted,

Our system of elite education manufactures young people who are smart and talented and driven, yes, but also anxious, timid, and lost, with little intellectual curiosity and a stunted sense of purpose: trapped in a bubble of privilege, heading meekly in the same direction, great at what theyre doing but with no idea why theyre doing it.