Johnny Hunt - Demolishing Strongholds: Finding Victory Over the Struggles That Hold You Back

I once met with a nationally known public speaker in the Fortune 500 world. With his wife sitting by his side, he told me, I get up every morning, spend a good thirty or forty minutes reading Oswald Chambers, and then go back to reading the Word of God. But even while Im reading, Im aware mentally of what I plan to do that night. Ive had two affairs and Ive been getting drunk on a regular basis for a couple of years.

Would it surprise you to hear that this man is at church every time the doors are open? He is, along with untold numbers of other Christian men. Frankly, I dont tell you his sad story because I think hes the exception. Hes not. I believe hes the rule.

The fact is, the average Christian man is trapped in a vicious cycle. Maybe at a low point in his life hell say, God, Im so sorry. I want to come clean with You. He does come clean, and for a while he feels better. But soon he begins another downhill slide. Eventually he finds himself right back at the bottom.

Then one Sunday, maybe he hears a great sermon and asks God to forgive him. He feels better againbut in a week or two, hes back once more where he started.

I know this pattern repeats itself weekly in churches all across America. But I also know something else. I know that this man, and millions of others like him, want to do better. They want to be real men of God. They want to lead their families and pursue their work in a God-honoring, spiritually strong way. But an obstacle keeps getting in their way, something that traps them in a destructive lifestyle that ends up feeling a lot like prison.

The Bible calls this something a stronghold. And if a man doesnt deal with the strongholds in his life, hell end up a long, long way from where he wants to be. Just like Bobby.

Wheres Their Daddy?

If you ever come to First Baptist Church Woodstock and worship with me at 8:30 a.m., Ill show you just how serious a problem a stronghold can be. Ill point out a certain family to you. I know exactly where they sit. I can point out the lady, who will have six of her eight children with her. I can turn around and say, See the two girls sitting next to each other in the choir? They are the other two.

And wheres their daddy? Well, thats a long story.

Bobby Apon used to perform with NewSong, one of the leading Christian singing groups in America. But then he got hooked on dial-a-porn 900 numbers. After about 11 p.m., a pretty woman used to come on TV and say something like, Hello, good-looking. Are you lonely? If you are, call me. I used to think, Aint nobody going to call her. If they did, shes not the one who will answer. So why would anybody call? But half a million calls a day did go to 900 dial-a-porn services.

Bobby spent $435 a month calling these numbers. You may say, He was some weird dude, wasnt he? No, not really. If you had watched him on stage, you wouldnt have seen anyone in the auditorium more handsome. Nobody there would have had less body fat. The man stood 6 feet 4 and worked out all the time. They didnt call him Superman for nothing! He had a beautiful wife and eight amazing children. And yet Bobby got hooked on dial-a-porn.

I found out about it after I spoke in Euless, Texas, for a Bible conference, where NewSong had just performed. When the group sang, I heard the crowd start hollering, Go Jesus! But when Bobby got out front, it sounded a lot more like Go Bobby! On stage, some of his provocative movements really grieved me. I went back to my motel room that night, restless. Every time I woke up, thoughts about the concert dominated my mind.

Early the next morning, I sent Bobby a message: Could we have a late breakfast? Please understand, Im not a confrontational guy. Id rather dig a ditch or take a whipping than to boldly confront someone; but I felt I was supposed to do exactly that, even though Bobby was not a member of my church. When we met, I told him what I had observed the night before and how my heart felt grieved. I said that I loved him and that the only reason I had brought it up was because I really cared about him.

Bobby did not appreciate my efforts. He got angry and called me legalistic and judgmental. You ought to concentrate on your own life, he fumed. He didnt hurt me, thank God, although later he told me he wanted to. I felt bad about his reaction and doubted whether I should have said anything.

About two weeks later, Bobby called to request a meeting in my office. When we sat down together, he asked how I knew about his sexual struggles. I told him I didnt know, but I just thought he was on dangerous ground and he could open himself up to a place he probably didnt want to go. Thats when he told me about the 900 numbers.

At that time we didnt yet have a ministry in place at Woodstock to work with fallen ministers, and frankly, I didnt even have the knowledge to speak effectively into Bobbys situation. But I sought to get him some help anyway, gave him the best counsel I could, and prayed with him. Then he went on his way.

I didnt see Bobby much after that, except whenever our paths crossed on the road. But within a year or so he came to see me againthis time to confess his adultery. It turned out that through a 900 number, an anonymous woman told him how to find a willing partner for an affair. He then called a girl in another state, where his group had scheduled a concert, and arranged the whole scheme.

Ill never forget what he said in his last visit to my office. When I left Georgia, he said, I knew that I planned to be with that lady in a Louisiana hotel room. Ive never been unfaithful to my wife, pastor, even though Ive been hooked on pornography and Ive been greatly tempted.

The Word of God says that when you get involved in lawlessness, it always leads to more lawlessness. Sin is never satisfied with how much of you it has. It always wants more. An old song says that sin will take you farther than you want to go, cost you more than you want to pay, and keep you longer than you want to stay. It plays for keeps. As evangelist Freddie Gage has said, Sin thrills and then it kills. It fascinates and then it assassinates. If you play, youre going to pay. You get burned every time.

As Bobby crossed the state lines, he said it felt like the Spirit of God said to him, Dont do it! But he kept on going. I remember when I crossed into Alabama, he told me. I remember when I crossed into Mississippi. I remember when I crossed into Louisiana. I never dreamed it could really happen. Johnny, it was one time only. Ive never been involved with her or anybody else in my whole life. He stopped and looked away for a moment. I cant deal with this, he said softly. Ive got to get this out of my heart so I can go on.

Are you dealing with a stronghold? It may be related to pornography, an affair, or it may be something else entirely. Whatever it is, its embedded itself in your heart and you feel trapped. You need to know that until you do rip it out of your heart, you cant go on, any more than Bobby could.

Although his adultery had already become known to his wife, I urged Bobby to confess his sin to her. I also told him he needed to get into counseling and start a restoration process.

I hate to say it, but Bobby lost his ministry. The guys in the singing group told him, Youre a very gifted and talented singer, but we just cant have that. Youve disqualified yourself from the ministry. They forgave Bobby, but the consequences of his sin cost him his job.

Do you realize theres a difference between forgiveness and consequences? Sometimes people think, Youre just holding this over me. Youre not forgiving . But forgiveness doesnt always wipe out the consequences. I had a staff member who fell into an adulterous relationship with a secretary. God knows I deeply love that man, but I dismissed him. That was the necessary consequence of his sin.

Bobbys wife forgave him and they seemed to be moving on. When the dust finally started to settle, it looked as though Bobby was beginning to grow spiritually and build a stronger relationship with his wife.