Angie Smith - Mended: Pieces of a Life Made Whole

Even the blindest heart could behold the gift of God upon Angie Smith. The messages teeming from her life, her voice, and her pen have the capacity to pierce through all our protective barriers. As she communicates, she throws herself into the same lot with the rest of us who struggle with fears and self-doubts and flaws but she leaves none of us languishing there. God speaks hope, help, and healing through Angie and does it so endearingly and even so humorously that you let your guard down and receive, even before you meant to. I first became acquainted with Angies story through her blog and remember reading the entire story of her darling baby girl, Audrey, in one sitting. I felt like she was talking straight to me across a small coffee table as she described the heartbreaking news of Audreys prognosis, the weeks of pregnancy still to come, and the sacred moments they held her in their arms before God swept her into His. She wrote about how Audrey would remain in their hearts forever and, through her story, she has remained in many of ours. Once I got to know more of Angies journey, I was slack-jawed by the realization that the two of us had our own connection in Christ. The Lord Jesus had called her to salvation as she worked through the Bible study called Breaking Free. What grace to tie two womens lives together with journeys so different by the same woven thread of redemption! He called me to write that journey out of the restoration He brought from my own brokenness. That He would use it to accomplish something so life-giving in her brought me to my knees. I knew her to be a gifted writer as I read her blog, but it was not long before I saw more than that. I saw God blend a natural giftedness for writing with a clear determination to surrender that gift to one gorgeous end: Christs great fame. And then, I also saw a friend. Angie Smith is a true writerone who has a perspective that comes only from walking through every shade of life and the shadow of death in His tight grasp.

Beth Moore, Living Proof Ministries

Copyright 2012 by Angie Smith

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-4336-7831-8

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.843

Subject Heading: WOMEN \ CHRISTIAN LIFE \ FAITH

Unless otherwise designated, Scripture quotations are from the English Standard Version ( esv ) copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Also used: the New International Version, ( niv ), copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society, used by permission of Zondervan, all rights reserved.

Also used: the New Living Translation ( nlt ), copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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For the Sundays,

who have walked with me through all of these pages.

Introducing Mended

If you would have told me fifteen years ago I would be working on a book about my Christian walk, I would have laughed.

And so the story goes, right? God has a way of redefining our expectations.

It has been a labor of love to walk back through some writings published over the past four and a half years on my blog, Bring the Rain. The blog began as a way to keep family and friends informed as we walked through the pregnancy of our fourth daughter, Audrey Caroline, who we only got to have with us on this earth for a few short hours. I blogged through the brokenness and hurt, clinging to Gods Word and a community emerged. Somewhere along the way I began to consistently get e-mails from people asking if there was some way to combine my more devotionalesque (Im an author, so I can make up words, right?) entries into book form. Mended is the fruit of that vision, and I hope it blesses you and reminds you how loved you are by your Creator. Has something convinced you that you arent a worthy recipient of His love? Where are the distractions and the noise of life getting in the way of your walk with Him?

Whatever calls our name louder than the voice of Jesus needs to be identified as an obstacle in our walk. Life is busy and days are short. We dont take the time we need to let our souls breathe. I want to invite you into my little corner of the world for a few minutes of your day and ask you to sit with me in the silence. Theres no wrong way to read Mended. Go at the pace that matches how God is speaking to you. But as you start, let me suggest that you carve a half hour out of the madness each day and lets talk about the way He loves us in spite of ourselves.

My hope is that this will be a resource that leads you to pray and dig deeper into His Word. I have given you some prompts to help with this along the way, whether you are reading alone or with a trusted friend or spouse. Each entry has a focus Scripture, a devotional, and then some brief application ideas. You might need to meditate on one entry longer than another depending on what you are walking through right now, and never feel rushed to move along. Ill be here either way. And most importantly, so will He.

If you are reading Mended with someone, I encourage you to have a quick phone/text/e-mail conversation for each entry to help you process your thoughts. I find that when I have this kind of accountability, I tend to make more progress. It doesnt need to be anything spectacularmaybe just a few sentences saying that you need prayer for something or sharing a sentence in the entry that struck you.

There isnt homework and there is no required reading. There are no worksheets, no wrong answers, and no possibility of receiving a failing grade. There is, however, a writer who speaks from her own pieces, and a Savior who speaks from a place of true wholeness.

Invite Him in before you even turn the page.

And if you can hear me whisper above our coffee cups, imagine my smiling face telling you my greatest prayer for you as you read.

The Lord loves you, and He longs for you to have wholeness in Him. In return for your mistakes, He bleeds mercy. In the place of wounds, He gives you this gift...

All my love to you, friends.

Be mended.

The Past and the Pitcher

Arise, and go down to the potters house, and there I will let you hear my words. So I went down to the potters house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potters hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do. Then the word of the Lord came to me: O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord . Behold, like the clay in the potters hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.

Jeremiah 18:26

In one of the books I read on grieving the loss of a child, the author suggested smashing a piece of pottery as a form of therapy. When I read that, I thought it was one of the dumbest things I had ever heard.

Then, not long after I read (and dismissed) the idea about smashing a piece of pottery, I was driving along, listening to my favorite worship CD, and talking to God. I try not to dwell on the past any more than I need to, because as with all of us, there are hurts that arent totally healed. But, it was a sunny day and I was alone with my music, so I guess it was as good a time as any to remember. As it turns out, Im glad I did.

Before I get to all that, let me start with my first image of Jesus.