Jadie Hager - Echoes of Darkness: A Survivors Story of Healing and Hope

No missionary story I have read is more heartrending than the account of the savage attack on the Beebe family in the islands of Palau. But as dark as the story is, the shining light of Gods forgiveness manifested through this wonderful family is an even greater testimony. In a day when so many are abused and greatly wronged, the message of Jadie (Beebe) Hagers book is timely and will bring healing and freedom. I highly recommend this book to every believer, especially those who have suffered deep and enduring pain.

Randy Hurst, Communications Director
Assemblies of God World Missions

Shortly after the vile attack on her family when Jadie was only eleven, Jadies parents told their story in the church I then pastored. I have never forgotten what Jadies missionary dad said that day to our church family: The Bible does not say We feel that in all things God works for the good. But rather, We know that in all things God is working for the good (Romans 8:28). Our knowings must be deeper than our feelings .
Now, thirty years later, Jadie shares a riveting account of the violent assault and its aftermaththe journey toward wholeness and forgiveness, the good that God has worked. Echoes of Darkness is grounded in biblical truth lived out through experience. I couldnt put her book down. It is a must-read for anyone who has experienced trauma, loss, violence, or injustice, or for anyone who seeks to minister to a loved one with deep physical and/or emotional wounds.

Dr. George O. Wood, General Superintendent
The General Council of the Assemblies of God

Though awful and appalling things were done to Jadie and her family while faithfully serving the Lord, Jadies story is one of victory, not defeat. She writes as a victor, not a victim. Her total trust in the Lord to redeem our heartbreaking experiences is revealed in sentences like this: Our life is like clay. Clay that is left to the effects of the environment will become dry, then hard and brittle, eventually becoming useless. Clay that is surrendered to the Potters hand will be molded and stretched, but finally used for a purpose designed by the Potter. Youll want to read this book and share it with your friends and family.

John M. Palmer, President
EMERGE Counseling Services, Akron, Ohio

Contents

Preface

It is truly the desire of my heart that my story in this book will light the way to restoration and freedom for you, my reader. Whatever you have sufferedor are still sufferingmy prayer is that you will be blessed and strengthened through the grace of God as I have been.

This book describes the events of one horrific night when my family and I were attacked by armed intruders who broke into our home on the mission field. It also contains an honest account of the emotional and spiritual issues with which I struggled for years afterward.

This, however, is not a story of tragedy but of victorymuch like the life of the apostle Paul. Although he suffered much during his life as an apostle, his story is overwhelmingly one of triumph. I dont define myself as a victim. I never will. I am not defined by the tragedy I suffered as a child. I have chosen not to be a victim but to be more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus living in me and through me.

So let me start by saying that this book is written for anyone who has been hurt. Many of you wont experience the kind of trials I have endured, and some of you have even experienced worse. But it is not about the size of your trial; it is about your response to it. I have seen people whose lives have been destroyed by fairly small problems. I have also seen people go through ordeals I cant even imagine and come out on top of the world.

God has given us the tools to rise above anything the enemy can throw at us in this world. But we need to know what those tools are, we need to know how to use them, and we need to have the vision and determination to see the work through to the end. Whether it was the kids on the playground who teased you, a tragic divorce, sexual abuse, or any other hard circumstance in your life, I fully believeand am living proofthat God can win any hand! To choose to be defined and restricted in this life based on circumstances, attacks of the enemy, or even your own choices is to let the enemy of your soul win. This is the place where we can be devoured. Instead, let us heed the apostle Peters advice:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Pet. 5:8)

That enemy is my target. As you journey with me through the story I am about to share, keep in mind that my willingness to bare the deep things of my heart comes out of this one motivation: To take aim at the one seeking to destroy you and define you in terms God never set; and in doing so, help you find freedom and joy in the Lord who has redeemed you. It is my desire that my story will help set you on a path to freedom in Christ and a life of destiny in him.

Our lives are truly like clay. Clay that is left to the effects of the environment will become dry, then hard and brittle, eventually becoming useless. Clay that is surrendered to the Potters hand will be molded and stretched, but finally able to be used for a purpose designed by the Potter.

Anyone who has remodeled a kitchen or rebuilt an engine knows it will usually get messier before it gets better, but the end state is greater than the beginning, if we see the process through to the end. That is my goal in this book: To give you the tools to work through your trial, to show you how to use them properly, and to help you obtain a vision for where you are goinga vision strong enough to see you through the process.

My life and my story are so much more than surviving a night of abuse. The restoration I walked through was a choice every step of the way. If at any time I had decided not to yield myself to the leading of the Holy Spirit, my journey would have come to an end. But long ago, I decided that halfway up the mountain was not good enough for me! The tragedy I and my family suffered put me in an extreme place to either practice the principles taught in the Bible or be left to the destructive power of post-traumatic stress disorder.

I do believe that dark night in July 1986 had a part in shaping who I am, but it will never define me. It is my Creator who defines me and shapes my future and my destiny. So while I agree that circumstances affect us and become a part of who we are, I also believe that even when a choice made by someone else drastically affects our lives, we are still the ones with the final say. What you do with what you have been given is up to you. The Bible tells us that we have been given everything we need for life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3). To live free or to live in chains is up to you.

You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family. Thats how the old adage goes. In my case, if I could have picked the perfect family, I would have chosen the one I was born into! I have always thought that I had a great dad, that my mom was awesome, and that I wouldnt trade my older brother for anyone else.

Like many children born into a good home, I lived in a bubble of happiness for the first eleven years of my life, unaware of the harsh reality and evil of the outside world. My parents met at Northwest Bible College and then were married right after graduation and began having children. Their hearts desire was to start a family and be missionaries. Family came first. My dad started working as a youth pastor and then an associate pastor. Jeremy and I were both born during this time. In 1979, we moved to Vader, Washington, where Dad took a senior pastor position at a small Assemblies of God church. I was four years old at the time and just about to start school and my brother Jeremy was five.