Lysa TerKeurst - Unglued Devotional: 60 Days of Imperfect Progress

For I am the Lord your God

who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,

Do not fear; I will help you.

(ISAIAH 41:13)

Thought for the Day: While feeling unglued is all Ive really known, today my life can be different.

Im sad because of the way I acted today. Im disappointed in my lack of self-control. And the more I relive my emotionally driven tirade, the more my brain refuses sleep.

I have to figure this out. What is my problem? Why cant I seem to control my reactions? I stuff. I explode. And I dont know how to get a handle on this. But God help me if I dont get a handle on this. I will destroy the relationships I value most and weave into my life permanent threads of short-temperedness, shame, fear, and frustration. Is that what I really want? Do I want my headstone to read, Well, on the days she was nice, she was really nice. But on the days she wasnt, rest assured, hell hath no fury like the woman who lies beneath the ground right here?

No. Thats not what I want. Not at all. I dont want the script of my life to be written that way.

So, at 2:08 a.m., I vow to do better tomorrow. But better proves elusive and my vow wears thin in the face of daily annoyances and other unpleasant realities. Tears slip, and Im worn out from trying. Always trying.

I feel broken. Unglued, actually. I have vowed to do better at 2:08 a.m. and 8:14 a.m. and 3:37 p.m. and 9:49 p.m. and many other minutes in between. So why arent things getting better? Why arent my reactions tamer?

I know what its like to praise God one minute and in the next minute yell and scream at my childand then to feel both the burden of my destructive behavior and the shame of my powerlessness to stop it.

The emotional demands keep on coming. Unrelenting insecurity. Wondering if anyone appreciates me. Feeling tired, stressed, and hormonal.

Feeling unglued is really all Ive ever known. And Im starting to wonder if maybe its all Ill ever be.

Those were the defeating thoughts I couldnt escape. Maybe you can relate. If you relate to my hurt, I pray you will also relate to my hope. While unglued is all Ive really known, I believe that with Gods help, today my life can be different. Thats my personal revelation of hope. The pages of this devotional are my hope journal. A place of tender mercies and grace given so many times it almost seems scandalous. How can our God be so patient? I dont know. But He is. Today, Hes offering us the fresh start our souls desperately need. Our key verse from Isaiah 41 promises He will help us. We can be different. A slate wiped clean. A page crisp white. A chance to start rewriting the old scripts of past failures. For me. For you. Together.

We can do this.

God, thank You that this is a new twenty-four hours. Today, I want to believe I can start writing a new script for my life. Help me to overcome the disbelief I have because of my past failures. Amen.

Practice these things;

immerse yourself in them,

so that all may see your progress.

(1 TIMOTHY 4:15 ESV)

Thought for the Day:

Just because something is hard doesnt mean its impossible.

What kept me from making changes with my raw emotions was the feeling I wouldnt do it perfectly. I knew Id still mess up and come unglued. Sometimes we girls think if we dont make instant progress, then real change isnt coming. But thats not so. There is a beautiful reality called imperfect progress. The day I realized the glorious hope of this kind of imperfect change is the day I gave myself permission to believe I really could be different.

Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace imperfect progress. And good heavens, I need lots of that. So I dared to write this in my journal:

Progress. Just make progress. Its okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. Its okay to draw a line in the sand and start over againand again. Just make sure youre moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good.

These honest words enabled me to begin rewriting my story. Not that I erased what came before, but I stopped rehashing it and turned the page afresh. Eventually, I started blogging about my raw emotions and imperfect changes. In response, I got comments whispering, Me too.

Being unglued, for me, comes from a combination of anger and fear, wrote Kathy. I think part of it is learned behavior. This is how my father was. Courtney honestly admitted, I come unglued when I feel out of control because my kids are screaming or fighting or whining or negotiating and wont listen. I like silence, calm, obedience, and control. When its not going my way, I come unglued and freak out and it goes quiet. And then the regret comes.