Tuhovsky - Mental Toughness Training: How to be Emotionally Strong, Overcome Adversity and Start Controlling Your Life

Introduction

W hen it comes to life and success, people talk about some areas more than others. Lets take a look at the sporting world just for a moment.

In sports, talent gets a lot of mentions. Yet nobody will tell you that talent can take you all the way. In fact, there are countless stories out there of people who didnt show innate talent, yet succeeded through hard workjust like there are many stories of insanely talented people who threw it all away by not applying themselves.

Discipline and hard work are given more importance in almost every situation. Without those crucial factors, talent really doesnt matter. In fact, there are plenty of people who believe that talent is a gift but not a necessity .

Talent is never enough. With few exceptions the best players are the hardest workers. Magic Johnson

This is a saying that a lot of us can relate to as well. There are lots of talented people out therephysically, academically, in any way you can think of. Almost everyone will come across people in their lifetimes that seem destined for great things. People who just get it whenever theyre shown or taught something. Yet the common factor among these people we all encounter, the thing that ties them together, isnt their success. No, its their lack of successeven though everything seems to be going for them.

On the other hand, my experience in working with successful people and businesses has shown a common factor tying them all together. Rather than a belief in talent, there is a belief in hard work and process. The people who succeed always believe that they can succeed regardless of natural gifts or abilities . This is important to keep in mindits not just about hard work or talent, its about adaptability. Its about becoming whoever or whatever you need to be in order to succeed in your field.

Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Jim Rohn

Now most of us arent out here trying to make it to the Olympics, the NFL, or the Premier League. If you are, I commend youand Im sure the info in this book can still be of great use to youbut for the rest of us, the pursuit of success is more about academics, business, or even personal relationships.

Through all of these areas of life, there are certain skills that will help you to manage yourself in better ways. Being intelligent and being hard working are two of the obvious ones. Society loves a hard worker, and society has a strong belief in how far intelligence can get you.

Think about it for a momentwhy else is education so important? Why else are famous universities and schools so sought after by parents for their children? Why do companies care so much about what degree you have and where you got it?

We are all taught from a young age that intelligence matters, and if you dont have it naturally, you can pick it up through hard work and application. The truth however is that intelligence doesnt always indicate success. I remember a great Forbes article from a few years back that focused precisely on this issue. To summarize it, intelligence can sometimes be a drawback for success. Why? It leads to over-analysis, because with more intelligence, people become more risk averse and aware of negative consequences. With high intelligence, people can become paralyzed by the mass of information theyre taking in.

Yes, intelligence is a great thing. It matters a lot (why else would governments and armies have entire sections devoted to nothing but intelligence, counter-intelligence, and disinformation?), but it is far from the only thing that matters.

Hmm, so if not intelligence, then what would be a good indicator of success? Ah, now youre asking the real questions.

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Chapter One:

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

T here are certain books and ideas that have developed widespread cult followings in the modern world. They can be as powerful as religious texts for those who seek success, and they give great hints at what matters most for success in life.

How to Win Friends and Influence People , The Art of War , 48 Laws of Power , and many other books have a lot in common. Deciphering what that is can be a bit difficult when looking from the outside in, so let me help you out with it here.

The title of the first book is a big giveaway How to Win Friends and Influence People . Many of the 48 laws also relate back to this point, such as Law 3Conceal Your Intentions, and Law 19Know Who Youre Dealing With, Do Not Offend the Wrong Person.

What am I talking about? Im talking about your ability to handle people . The problem with handling people is that people are emotional by nature. They can be unpredictable or outright crazy in how they behave. People also tend to bring out these kinds of unpredictable responses in us when we deal with them. Why? Because of emotion .

Back in 1995, there was a book called Emotional Intelligence published by Daniel Goleman, a behavioral scientist and journalist. Goleman had spent his adult life learning and teaching on the subject of human psychology and behavior. I wont bore you with his entire background, but suffice to say hes a real heavy hitter in the field of psychology, being sought after during his career by places like Harvard, Yale, and Rutgers, before working for Psychology Today and eventually The New York Times .