Romal Tune - Love Is an Inside Job: Getting Vulnerable with God

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

Matthew 22:3640 KJV

M y follow-up question after Jesus explained the greatest commandment went something like this: How do I love my neighbor when I dont love myself? What I felt for myself was shame about a past that haunted meguilt and fearnot self-love. I loved others if they loved me first. If they loved me, Id have reason to love myself.

Loving God with my allwith my whole selfmeant going all in. I didnt go all in for anything. I didnt totally trust or show all my feelings to anyone. Sermons I heard in church talked about the things God gives to those God loves, so if I received what I wanted, then God loved me and Id love God back. God and I were cool. But when life wasnt going my way, that meant God had let me down, abandoned me, like everyone else who was supposed to love me unconditionally. God and I were distant. I was used to disappointment, so I could handle God not loving me. No sweat.

My love for God and my love for people was cautious love. I kept up a wall. I didnt let down my guard. In every case in my lifefrom family, to friends, to marriage, to church, I had been somehow disappointed. I wasnt willing to risk being let down or hurt again.

This book is about how I moved from my idea of being loved by God based on what God did for me, to experiencing Gods unconditional love for me, which helped me love myself and love others. I wanted to be a better person, experience peace of mind, and overcome my constant fear of never being enough for myself, God, or anyone else. Discovering the power of vulnerability opened the door for me to become the person I truly desired to be and live the life I have always wanteda life free from anxiety, dread of the future, fear of failure, and loneliness. Learning that love starts inside mewith vulnerability to Godhas given me a new sense of freedom. The route to that most profound relationship with God was vulnerability. Receiving Gods love meant being vulnerable with God. Loving God meant being vulnerable with God. In vulnerability with God, I discovered self-love. From self-love, my relationships have been transformed.

Ive carried a lot of emotional baggage my whole life. My baggage was not the kind you can carry on a flight and place in an overhead bin. Mine was like the baggage you place on the scale at the check-in counter and you hear the clerk say: Your baggage is over the weight limit and youre going to have to pay for that. Yes, my baggage has been heavy and Ive paid dearly in inner pain, fractured relationships, and life drama. For a long time, I knew it was over the weight limit but I carried it anyway. I thought I needed it for my manhood, the person I wanted to show the world, and I paid a high price. The cost was my peace of mind, happiness, friendships, and loss of those I loved.

Throughout this book, I will shares stories from my past that I finally had to confront on my journey to embracing the love of God, the love of myself, and the ability to love others. This is about the oftentimes complicated road to redemption, forgiveness, and the need for grace. My hope is that as you read this book, you will be able to glean lessons and tools from my mistakes as well as my healing that will be useful to you on your own journey to become the best version of yourself that you can possibly become in your lifetime. Love is an inside job, and sometimes your secrets are the source of your sorrows. Doing the inner work allows you to confront your secrets and overcome the root source of your sadness. My prayer is for everyone who reads this book to embrace the love of God, the love of self, and the love of others in order to live your life free of guilt or shame. Live without internal turmoil. Live with peace of mind knowing that you are already amazing and you dont have to prove it.