vishal gupta - Learn to Win Arguments and Succeed

Learn to Win

Arguments and Succeed

20 Powerful Techniques to Never Lose an Argument again, with Real-life Examples.

A Life Skill for Everyone.

VISHAL GUPTA

OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR

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THE BEST WAY TO WIN ANY ARGUMENT IS TO AVOID IT. THE 2ND BEST WAY IS TO READ THIS BOOK.

AUTHORS NOTE

This book is the result of my 30 years of observation, analyses, and experience.

My life has been anything but perfect. I have been through numerous successes and failures. Several ups and downs. Some tremendous accomplishments and some very massive disasters. This has given me a peerless set of experiences that I bring into all my writings and books. Throughout my life, I have made it my mission to share my experiences with as many people as possible.

Language and words cannot be the tongue of soul and say everything. They have limitations. Most misunderstandings, quarrels, and disagreements happen due to the inability of oral and written human language to convey every piece of information and emotion that human beings want to express. The choice of words and tone are very important. Even though the main focus of this book is arguments, in some places, it goes beyond arguments, words, and logic. It explores the human aspect of tone and intention. If this book is read well and understood in its entirety, the reader will improve his relationships and friendships, leading to a happier and healthier life.

Vishal Gupta

Introduction

A t the outset, it is essential to define the word Argument and also contrast it with the word Discussion so that all of us are on the same page.

Usually, the word argument has a negative connotation and is associated with a loud voice, yelling, anger, and with other such negative emotions. However, that is not entirely true.

In this book, I have used the term Argument in the context of a Disagreement between two people or two parties where both parties defend and standby their point of view and try to convince the other side of their perspective or try to show how the other's standpoint is not correct. The intention in an argument is to show the Opponent how you are Right and and how W rong the other is.

In Contrast , a discussion is a C onversation between people to meaningfully talk about a situation, a person, or an event to understand the same thing from various viewpoints without trying to defend a particular persons perspective and without the intention of winning the conversation and having the last word and proving oneself right and the other wrong.

On an average, we get into some kind of disagreement or argument around 5-6 times a day.

Sometimes we are in disagreement or argument with our PARENTS, whom we respect a lot, but, at the same time, we want to live our own life on our terms . Therefore, disagreement and argument become an essential part of our conversation because we want to follow our own path and growth rather than their ideas of what is right for us.

Sometimes we get into disagreements or arguments with our SPOUSES, whom we love and care. But at the same time, we need our space , and we need to do things which make us happy even if our spouses cant understand us. Unfortunately, in any relationship, it is quite normal for people to control each other . Sometimes our spouses may control us to a point where we cant even breathe, and we find it difficult to do activities or chores which make us happy and keep us sane and satisfied. It therefore becomes vital to win disagreements or arguments against our spouses for our sanity and joy. We all need our Me time , our own private time, and our own space.

Sometimes we get into arguments with our FRIENDS . Some friends only pretend to be friends. They are not our well-wishers. At the first opportunity they get, they put us down; ridicule us , especially in bigger groups. They insult us, directly, indirectly, and demolish everything we say or express. They treat us like dirt. In such situations, it becomes essential to give it back to them. It becomes crucial to win conversations and disagreements or arguments against them. It becomes vital to identify the various argument techniques they use to win arguments against us and then counter them, with our knowledge of argumentation styles and structures to demolish their arguments and prevail over them . We need to do this sometimes to win back our self-esteem, pride, and self-confidence .

Sometimes we are in an argument with our BOSSES . THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT mindset may not always work. There are critical situations when we have to stand up for our views and opinions. Many times, the boss acts illogically and unreasonably by misusing authority . In such cases, we need to counter his/her outrageous behavior in a way that we can be heard, and our ideas and opinion can be considered. At the same time, we may not want to sound disrespectful or aggressive against him or even tep on their toes. Therefore, it becomes important to know how to argue successfully against authority without hurting the other person's EGO.

Sometimes we are in an argument with our RESPECTED ELDERS . They may be our grandparents, relatives, brothers and sisters, etc. In many cultures, arguing against elders is seen as impolite . But, in many situations, we have no option but to be heard and to have our way. If we dont argue, it may affect our whole life and career . So, how arguing respectfully and tactfully becomes an art and a science .

Sometimes, we are in an argument with STRANGERS or people we dont know perfectly well and who are harming us by being very aggressive or disrespectful. We find many such people in the trains, buses, malls, and other public places. In such situations, it becomes crucial to successfully win arguments against them to get our work done or our point across to them.

Sometimes, we are in an argument with our CHILDREN . Children can be brilliant and tricky. They understand emotional blackmail and manipulate elders effectively. Many times we fall into their trap even though it may be harmful to the child. We must learn how to checkmate children in their games and prevail over their emotional blackmail laden arguments for their own safety, security, and wellbeing.