Aaron Freeman - The Argument Hangover: Empowering Couples to Fight Smarter and Overcome Communication Pitfalls

An Invitation to My Partner and Teammate, ______________.

I invite you to read this book with me and to have fun along the way as we grow. Our relationship is the key to our lives thriving and our dreams being fulfilled. I desire to strengthen our relationship and to learn more about how we can be even better partners for each other and design a life we love together as a team.

This book is my gift for both of us as an expression of how much our relationship means to me.

Will you read this with me?

[ ] Yes.

[ ] Absolutely!

[ ] Im already on chapter two!

With love and gratitude, _____________________

Copyright 2021 by Jocelyn Freeman and Aaron Freeman

Illustrations 2021 by Helen Levko

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018.

Skyhorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund-raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or info@skyhorsepublishing.com.

Skyhorse and Skyhorse Publishing are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., a Delaware corporation.

Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Daniel Brount

Cover image by Shutterstock

Print ISBN: 978-1-5107-6341-8

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-6342-5

Printed in China

TABLE OF CONTENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Hey, were the Freemans! Before you dive into this book, we wanted to introduce ourselves a little more. Our relationship didnt start off like your favorite romance movie, and it certainly wasnt rainbows and butterflies of bliss. In fact, I (Aaron) tried to break up with Jocelyn within the first six months of our relationship.

You see, up until I was twenty-eight, I had convinced myself that relationships werent for me. Though I might have said I dont need one, it was really because of past dating experiences of being broken up with and hurt over and over that I started keeping myself at a safe distance when it came to relationships. So here I was just a few months into dating Jocelyn and I called her on a hot summer day and said I think we should just be friends. This was to her surprise and probably shock because things were going great in our relationship. But this was coming from a deep subconscious fear that it was only a matter of time before this would end, so I better do it first. She called me back just three minutes later and said that doesnt work for me. In that moment, I knew that she wasnt going to be someone that easily gave up in the tough moments. It was really powerful and healing for me, so I said Okay, Im in. Lets do this!

Heres the thing, that moment didnt make up for the fact that we had completely different upbringings and different views of relationships from what we observed from our parents. To be blunt, we werent on the same page about how to communicate and handle conflict. Aaron picked up patterns of avoiding conflict and holding back more vulnerable feelings, and I (Jocelyn) picked up habits of taking out my emotion and fighting in destructive ways. This led us down a path of discovering and learning all the skills and tools we didnt learn growing up to really set ourselves up for a lasting relationship.

You see, we dont believe love is enough to guarantee that a relationship will last, or that it will thrive and be fulfilling as the years go on. After mastering the relationship skills in our own relationship, we had couples ask us left and right what is it that youre doing to be as connected as you are? We quickly realized that our society mostly focuses on relationships in two ways: finding the partner and getting married, then resorting to counseling when in crisis. We thought what about something in between ? What about learning relationship skills without it meaning something is wrong ? Just like you would do ongoing education or training to get better at a sport, physical health, or your career.

These questions led us to create Empowered Couples University, which hosts both online and in-person workshops, courses, and coaching for modern couples. We have written two books, personally coached hundreds of couples, led over 42 events for couples and hundreds of online courses, and also created a highly sought after and accredited relationship coaching certification to train other aspiring coaches.

Were beyond grateful that our teachings have reached over a million couples, and were not stopping anytime soon. This is our life purpose, and were so excited to empower your relationship. Diving into this book is a great place to start.

Website: www.MeetTheFreemans.com

Instagram:

Facebook:

Podcast: The Empowered Couples Podcast

INTRODUCTION

Hey, new friend! Were the Freemans and we encourage you to ask yourself these questions before reading further. You see, theres a difference between reading a book and saying thats a nice idea, I liked that book and actually using and leveraging a book to impact your daily life (more so actually implementing the tools into your relationship). These questions will help you do that.

Am I open to implementing new habits and beliefs to make my relationship be even better?

Youve probably heard the quote, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. But if youre honest with yourself, do you try the same things repeatedly in your relationship and wonder why things havent changed? This book is an invitation for you to not just pick up new ideas, but to truly implement new habits and skills for your relationship. At first it might be uncomfortable, but over time you will have a relationship with an even stronger connection and fantastic communication, which will stand the test of time.

Am I willing to let go of being right about my relationship?

But I am right! How often do we think that or say that out loud? Truthfully, all human beings have a subconscious desire (even need ) to be right. You might have started to put your relationship into a certain box, like theyre not a good listener or were never going to improve or, even worse, theyre the one that needs to change! But would you rather be right about your perspective, or open to growth? As you journey into this book, can you commit to being more concerned about understanding each other than arguing about why you have the right perspective?

Am I open to even more love and connection in my relationship?

This question might seem unnecessary because youre thinking, well, of course I want more love and connection . But what you might not realize is that sometimes you think things are as good as they can get, or that youre just past the honeymoon phase and peak of passion and excitement of the relationship. Perhaps you even wonder if youre worthy enough for the most outrageously incredible, miraculous, love-filled relationship. Is there really more that you can let in?