Elizabeth Gillette - Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples: Exercises to Strengthen and Grow Your Relationship

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R0

For Dan,
my partner in every way.

CONTENTS

If youre reading this workbook on a touch-screen device, you can add notes and highlight text just like you would in a physical workbook.

Some sections will prompt you to write in answers or personal responses. Its easygive it a try right here: ___________.

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Welcome! I am so happy to be here with you. As a therapist who has studied attachment theory for years and engaged in this work with numerous clients in my private practice, I am thrilled to share this information with you. I realize that you may be arriving at this book feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or ready to try something different in your relationship to feel more connected and less stressed. You are in the right place.

You may have heard that if you and your partner have differing attachment styles, your relationship wont work. As you will learn in this book, people are drawn to one another for a reason and I believe that our differing attachment styles can be the basis for deep healing, together.

I came to attachment theory as I was working to heal patterns arising in my own partnership. I noticed that my partner and I would find we were repeating the same argument, with no resolution. We felt frustrated, disheartened, and stuck. I discovered that our differing attachment styles were showing up during moments of conflict and we didnt have the tools we needed to fully understand and appreciate each others perspectives or behaviors. We didnt need to end our relationship; we needed a framework to help us understand each other.

That is what I want to provide for you. Attachment theory is a lens through which you view your partner, your relationship, and yourself. It is intended that you do so with compassion, hope, and a clear path toward improved communication, attunement, and responsiveness during moments of both conflict and connection.

My deepest hope is that you can heal the parts of you that need support so you can be the most authentic version of yourself in your relationships. Being in a partnership isnt easy. If we are showing up fully in our relationships, then we are going to encounter challenges along the way. We are going to inadvertently trigger the parts of each other that still need healing. But thats the beauty of doing this work togetheryou can not only experience personal healing, but you can also strengthen your connection with your partner.

The work you will do together is impactful regardless of how long you have been in your partnership. Every action you take to align yourself with secure attachment will improve your relationship and help you build a foundation of integrity.

The fact that youre here, ready to practice some new skills and show up differently in your relationship, says so much about your bravery and commitment to growth and healing. Im right here with you. Lets dive in!

Think of this workbook as a tool in your tool kit that can address the challenging parts of healthy communication and attachment patterns, but that can also offer suggestions and strategies for bringing you closer to your partner.

We will start by exploring the different attachment styles and helping you identify what yours might be. After that, we will begin the activities that you can use on your own or with your partner to deepen your understanding of each other.

Although this workbook is only the start of the work in your relationship, my goal is to support you in feeling more confident about tackling the issues that arise in your relationship patterns and remind you that you can do this. Ive seen many couples and individuals transform their lives through attachment theory, and I know you can, too.