Stanley - Rethinking Masculinity

ENDORSEMENTS

A no-nonsense must-read for men everywhere! Demonstrating a unique understanding of men and masculinity, Rethinking Masculinity is a compelling and thought-provoking book addressing the unique challenges affecting the men of our generation.

Geraint Jones, Veteran and Sunday Times bestseller

This book breaks the old paradigms of what it means to be a man. It will change lives. Each chapter challenges old thought processes and forces us to audit our position. It is an essential read for any man; I wish I had read this twenty years ago.

Matt Bowring, Fitness expert and personal trainer to A-list actors

Essential reading for men feeling lost or wanting to live with greater purpose. Men dont just need help, they need strategies, and that is where this book delivers. It is a brilliant and comprehensive look at where we have come and where we need to go; empowering on every page.

Christian OConnell, Multi award winning radio show host

Rethinking Masculinity is a guide for living. It should be studied by every father and read to every son. Do not be fooled by the title, this book is valuable for both men and women. Women will gain incredible insight needed to better understand, support and advise the men in their life.

Anthony C. Gruppo, Former international CEO, author and philanthropist

Dans writing is extremely powerful and thought-provoking. I learnt so much from what he had to say. This is a timely, important book. We are currently facing a crisis in mens mental health like weve never experienced before. I know that Dans words will have a big impact on everyone who reads them.

Jonny Benjamin MBE, Author and Founder of youth mental health charity, Beyond

Dan has tackled a topic that deep down we all know exists, but we prefer not to think about until now. This engaging and real-world take is packed with practical tools for our modern times, and theres not a woke-ism in sight! Its powerful stuff and Ive bought my three grown-up sons a copy each. You should do the same.

Nigel Bottrell, Founder of Entrepreneurs Circle

Rather than simply opposing or re-writing old-school masculinity, Dan has demanded that it mature, gain feelings, gain a voice, and develop three-dimensions. This book offers masculinity a road to redemption that is defined by its strengths as well as by its blind spots. It is an intelligent, highly accessible and well-written read.

Russell Rose, BodyMind Psychotherapist. UKCP

As middle-aged men, we often find ourselves stuck in a world where the measurements of success are career achievements and societal status symbols. Rethinking Masculinity offers a different view of this world. It offers men answers to the questions theyre afraid to ask. Its the most important book that all middle-aged men absolutely must read.

Ryan Jones MBE, Former international rugby player and British & Irish Lion

The concepts Dan shares in Rethinking Masculinity formed the framework of our coaching and have also changed my life; this book will change yours. It explains why and how professionally successful men struggle and provides the tools to make the changes needed to lead a genuinely fulfilling and successful life.

Matt Jones, CEO, award winning entrepreneur and communication expert

A brilliant book and a must for any man, or partner of a man who feels a void in their life but cant identify its source. Rethinking Mascu l inity will help you find, understand and heal that inner void; it will leave you feeling as if youve summited the highest mountain yourself.

Dave Hattam, Co-host of Lads, Dads and A Couple of Beers podcast

The role of being a man has changed rapidly and significantly. This is a timely, well-written and thought-provoking book discussing whats important for men to understand about themselves and the world we live in.

Daniel Priestly, CEO, Dent Global

First published in Great Britain in 2022 by Rethink Press

( www.rethinkpress.com )

Copyright Dan Stanley

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher.

The right of Dan Stanley to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publishers prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Author photo Bradley Lever of The Content Creators

To my wife Rachael, for standing by my side, for being strong when I had no strength left, and to my beautiful children, Sophia and Spencer, the catalyst for all that I am

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

Its been twenty-seven years since the rugby union turned professional. When I first started playing for Wales in the mid-eighties, rugby was all about the macho, physical never show youre hurt mentality. You were meant to be tough and masculine to just get up and get on with it. Coaching and leadership meant having a few beers and a sing-song after the match to create a culture of hard work and camaraderie. It worked back then, but with both masculinity and sport undergoing fundamental changes, what got rugby here wont get rugby there: to the next level of global success.

Just like life, the rules of the game have changed. Success isnt only on the pitch any longer; its on and off the field of play, meaning player welfare is more important than ever. As Ive developed as a leader, Ive learned that the modern game is all about creating an environment where people can be their best selves. The same is true in every arena of life. As leaders and members of society, we now have to create a culture of belonging and safety.

When I first connected with Dan Stanley, I was in the middle of a professionally tough period. Despite my years of career success, I had doubts about the space I was in and my future direction was unclear. We got to talking about leadership, my time as a coach and his time in the military. We discussed culture, how we lead people and how we support an environment that can get the best out of people; one where we all succeed. It turned out we had a lot of common understandings of leadership and a shared desire to see our people thrive, not just survive.

I did some coaching sessions with Dan and he had a profound effect on the way I now think about my professional career and life as a whole. Hes insightful and knowledgeable to learn from, no matter where you are in your stage of life. He has a huge heart and passion for wanting to help people particularly men.

His coaching equipped me with useful tools and techniques which I use in combination with my own experience to create strong world-class leadership results. He helped me to remove doubt and refocus on myself and my purpose. My purpose is my family. They drive me to become more, personally and professionally. Now I am an authentic leader of myself and a cultural architect of my organisation; I see myself as people-centred and competition ready.