Michelle Davison-Ward - Keep Your Hopes and Dreams Alive

Copyright 2020 Michelle Davison-Ward

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

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ISBN 978 1800468 573

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Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

Dedicated to

my favourite child and the other one

To my husband and soul mate it has been a bumpy ride but there is no one else I would have at my side.

My mum and dad who truly empowered me to educate myself and others, and to always be kind.

My amazing children who will hopefully one day understand all this philosophical stuff that I harp on about.

My family and friends particularly Suzie, Redders, Lisa Slade and Karen for your ongoing encouragement and support.

To the Friday nighters for my weekly therapy, fun, tears and laughter.

To my guinea pigs Carol, Norman and Karen the first people to do the workshop. I learnt as much from you as you did from me and I will be forever grateful.

My proof-readers; Nayer, Mum, sister Lisa, Suzie, Lisa Redders, Vikki, Hazel, Jess, Sarah Jane, Carol, Glenda and Emma thank you for taking the time to read the drafts, correct my grammar, listen to me going on and on and for your invaluable feedback. You gave me the confidence to continue to the publishing stage.

My amazing and brave clients for sharing their stories and baring their souls. For your openness, honesty and willingness to learn and grow, which continues to inspire me. For allowing me to share your stories to hopefully help others. I have learnt so much from you and will be forever indebted to you.

Finally, to Vikki Maslin such a beautiful soul, thank you so much for the illustrations they are perfect.

I am truly blessed to have you all in my life xx

This is a SELF-HELP BOOK, if you do not want to help yourself please put the book back!

The book is aimed at people who are lost, lonely, stressed, anxious or depressed and cant see a way forward. The purpose of the book is to give you some thoughts and ideas (tools) on how to help yourself feel better mentally, physically and spiritually, live life with a positive attitude and fulfil your potential.

The information I am sharing with you is what I have gathered is from various books, courses, conversations, TV programmes, research papers, colleagues, friends and family over the years. The book is based on my personal experiences and from my experience of working with people from all walks of life, who have found themselves lost and broken and needing support to change or to get back on track.

It sounds very clichd, but I realise for a person like me that doesnt do sympathy I am really good at helping others, inspiring confidence and self-belief to make changes in their lives.

I want to keep the book simple, so I am not going into too much depth of why people feel depressed, anxious, lost and lonely. I know when I was depressed my brain couldnt take in too much information, concentrating and even thinking was energy sapping, so the chapters arent too long and are broken up with simple exercises.

For those intellectuals that pick up this book and feel that my English is too basic, please can I ask that you put your ego aside and continue; because you may learn something too.

If you need to make changes in your life but dont know where to start, let me be your inspiration. We need to relight that spark and fan those flames until you are glowing again with hope and purpose.

You might ask, why does this writer think she can help me and what does she know?

Well I know quite a lot actually, I have worked in the Welfare to Work sector since 2010, which basically means helping some of the most vulnerable people in society come off benefits and get into work, education or training. I also work with people who have been made redundant and professional people already employed but wanting a change of career.

The reality is that often I am a counsellor, social worker and life coach helping people solve all sorts of real issues in order to move forward in life. During my working life I have successfully helped some of my clients change their lives for the better, having worked with hundreds of clients with a multitude of issues from:

Redundancy

Homelessness

Alcohol and substance misuse

Mental health issues

Physical disabilities

Ex-offenders

Anxiety, depression and stress

Lack of confidence and self-esteem

Bereavement

Loneliness and social isolation

In my career I have had jobs where I have to tick boxes for a particular contract, without actually helping a person thoroughly, but this absolutely goes against my morals, virtues and integrity as I want to make a difference to someones life for the better. I dont want to put a sticking plaster on a gaping wound, when dealing with peoples lives it is so much more complex and as I have a conscience, I always want to try to do the right thing.

Sometimes just ticking boxes means setting people up to fail, I could have got someone a job, just to see them lose it soon after because they were not ready to work, and we did not get to the bottom of their REAL issues. I look at the person as a whole, I ask difficult questions to find out what their problems and innermost demons are, I LISTEN carefully to what is said and what is not said and they usually break down and cry (I am good at making people cry.) I realise now that this is a gift and one that I now hold dear, because I feel honoured that people feel safe and secure to bare their soul to me and talk about their darkest fears and emotions. I am an empath, a logical one, that feels others pain but also has a logical approach to problem solving and that is my superpower.

I love the analogy below it shows clearly what sympathy, empathy and apathy mean. If you were sat in your puddle of hopelessness a sympathetic person would sit with you in the puddle, an empath would try to understand your feelings and help you out of the puddle, that is me. Whilst an apathetic person would walk on by and have no sympathy or empathy.

Now on a better note: how do I fix these broken people? Well to be honest, I dont fix people. I can only give them the tools to fix themselves and make the changes needed to recover and become the person they want to be. Essentially the journey is different for everyone. It all depends how broken the person is and where the break is, whether it is physical, mental or their heart/spirit/soul (excuse me for my vagueness with this reference as I am still learning what heart/ spirit/ soul are.) Some people only need to see me once or twice whilst others I can see weekly; for months or a couple of years.