Ben Pechey - The Book of Non-Binary Joy: Embracing the Power of You

The Book of Non-Binary Joy is full of wit, kind advice, encouragement, fun and wisdom! Let Ben take you by the hand for this fabulous ride into the expansiveness of our genders and communities, you will not regret it.

Alex Iantaffi, author of Gender Trauma , How to Understand Your Gender and Life Isnt Binary

This book speaks directly to the non-binary reader, because lets face it, there arent many that do, but rest assured it is for everyone. To read, to learn, to understand better another persons perspective is incredibly powerful. This book debunks common misconceptions and gives insightful and useful information that we all need. They discuss trauma and the wider context of living in a world that often doesnt support or accept you with a beautifully delicate, light hand giving the reader a real sense of pride and joy that is often neglected when talking about these issues.

Natalie Lee (Style Me Sunday)

This book is a joy to read! The Book of Non-Binary Joy is in perfect balance: direct, kind and deeply respectful explorations of what it means to be human, mixed with encouraging and purely prideful happiness. Beautifully illustrated and brilliantly witty, this is the book to help everyone expand their gender-delight.

Jeffrey Marsh, bestselling author of How to Be You

The Book of Non-Binary Joy is just that. JOY. Every page is packed full of love, acceptance, encouragement and more. Bens wit, charm and warmth leap off the page like a big friendly hug. I know this book will help LGBTQIA+ people on their gender journey and discovery. Thank you Ben, from one of them.

Dom&Ink

Im so happy this book exists. As a trans man, its a genuinely useful resource and as a trans person, its a breath of fresh air for the focus to be on our ample, multifaceted joy instead of simply the pain we experience at the hands of cis society.

Freddy McConnell, writer and journalist

Honest, incisive and responsive writing. A commanding and nuanced conversation of representation, allyship and identitya book I wished Id had in my twenties.

Jules Von Hep, entrepreneur and philanthropist

of related interest

The Trans Self-Care Workbook

A Coloring Book and Journal for Trans and Non-Binary People

Theo Lorenz

ISBN 978 1 78775 343 3

e ISBN 978 1 78775 344 0

Non-Binary Lives

An Anthology of Intersecting Identities

Edited by Jos Twist, Ben Vincent, Meg-John Barker and Kat Gupta

ISBN 978 1 78775 339 6

e ISBN 978 1 78775 340 2

In Their Shoes

Navigating Non-Binary Life

Jamie Windust

ISBN 978 1 78775 242 9

e ISBN 978 1 78775 243 6

Trans Power

Own Your Gender

Juno Roche

ISBN 978 1 78775 019 7

e ISBN 978 1 78775 020 3

The Book of
Non-Binary

Ben Pechey

Illustrated by Sam Prentice

First published in Great Britain in 2022 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

An imprint of Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

An Hachette Company

Copyright Ben Pechey 2022

Illustrations Copyright Sam Prentice 2022

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library and the Library of Congress

ISBN 978 1 78775 910 7

e ISBN 978 1 78775 911 4

Jessica Kingsley Publishers policy is to use papers that are natural, renewable and recyclable products and made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The logging and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Carmelite House

50 Victoria Embankment

London EC4Y 0DZ

www.jkp.com

For you, for me, for all of us. Always have Hope

O h hello darling, and welcome to this, my very first book. It is very important to me that you see the pages of this tome as a safe space. Here you will find no judgement, and no expectations or requirements placed on you, the reader; instead I urge you to see these pages as a guide to unlocking more joy in your own existence.

Many humans find it hard to put themselves first, and sadly as non-binary people we have been conditioned to expect less for ourselves. Clichs are unfairly treated in my opinion, and are overlooked for being obvious. Well, sometimes obvious is good, and helpful, so it is a clich, but in order to love life, we have to learn first how to love ourselves. At this juncture I have to be honest with you the pages you are about to devour will have no purpose if you are not willing to love yourself.

This is the one and only change I need you to make this book is here to help you be yourself. This is not going to require more effort from you, and this is the way it should be. In the past as a community we have had to work our fingers to the bone to carve out space for who we are, and now we have finally covered some ground in terms of rights and quality of life, we need to just start living.

The book in your hands is here to provide knowledge and experiences to help you be you in the best way you want. I havent sugar-coated my words and, to be frank, some of the conversations I have had on these pages may seem anything but positive, but I promise you, they are necessary.

My biggest regret is that I didnt give myself the space to live my truth at a younger age; instead I waited until I was 21 or 22, and that was partly through my own hang-ups, but also because the conversation and visibility I needed were not there. Remember, you cannot be what you dont know! It took a lot of changes and chance meetings with wonderful queer humans for me to finally honour who I am.

My words may not answer all your questions, or tick all the boxes on the list you have in your head, but they will do a lot of the work for you. There is more than enough to help you if you are right at the start of your journey of self-exploration, and plenty of deeper topics to help you if you have been on the wild ride of gender introspection for longer.

The reality of this situation is that we have known exactly who we are for as long as we can remember. It may have been a looser sense of difference from the mainstream than it is now, but I can guarantee it was there. We may not have had the language to describe that feeling, or had the visibility to be able to voice who we are at an academic level, but we have always been exactly who we are.

My words and my thoughts are here to remind you that in some ways you have always known who you are, and this book is here to help you see how to be you in all your glory, and hopefully with my guidance you can start that journey today, right now.

I am well aware that you know how to read, but traditional books give you a framework in which you start on page one, and carry on reading to the end. This book is not the same. You get to choose how you read it.