Pooky Knightsmith - Things I Got Wrong So You Dont Have To: 48 Lessons to Banish Burnout and Avoid Anxiety for Those Who Put Others First

Fantastic, honest account of true life. Humorous at times, hard-hitting but good for the soul. Pooky is a well-respected professional within the mental health field and this book highlights her personal dilemmas connecting to her professional role. We can all relate to the lessons learnt, feelings shared and only become a better person after reading this book. Honest accounts of her personal and professional thoughts and experiences. Priceless! Helpful tools given to support self-refection.

Ann Marie Christian, international safeguarding consultant and trainer

Such a valuable and practical guide to taking care of your most precious asset your mental health. Filled with immediately relevant advice, based on a disarming and always honest reflection on life, this book will help huge numbers of people.

Pete Wharmby, autistic author and advocate

This is a very accessible and practical book that anyone who has an interest in self-improvement and seeing what they may be able to do differently with their lives, would benefit from reading. Looking at the following key topics: learning, self-care, self-acceptance, life online, death and dying, love and friendship, living with anxiety, Pooky draws from personal experiences to support the reader through a reflective process, whilst also providing practical things to try for each topic area covered.

The book oozes humility, honesty and authenticity, and in doing so allows the reader to reflect on the topics in relation to themselves throughout. This provides a powerful and accessible approach that I wholeheartedly recommend.

I dont think you could read this book without being better after having done sowhy not give it a try?

Gareth D. Morewood, educational advisor and former SENCo

This book is a gift for anybody struggling with their mental health or self-esteem. Its full of lessons in learning and growing, and most importantly in forgiving ourselves for living imperfect lives. Pooky shares so much wisdom, and the exercises at the end of each chapter help to personalize the learning we can take from Pookys wealth of experience, both personal and professional. A truly wonderful resource for anyone hoping to overcome their imposter syndrome and be kinder to themselves.

Cara Lisette, mental health campaigner and writer, registered mental health nurse and child cognitive behavioural therapist

Pookys life lessons are a refreshing blend of shared vulnerability and hard-won wisdom. I felt myself growing as I read, and I have already started to think about the life changes Ill make in response to this apparently simple yet deeply inspiring book.

Dr Kathryn Mannix, retired palliative care physician and author of With the End in Mind and Listen

by the same author

The Mentally Healthy Schools Workbook

Practical Tips, Ideas, Action Plans and Worksheets for Making Meaningful Change

Pooky Knightsmith

Foreword by Norman Lamb

ISBN 978 1 78775 148 4

eISBN 978 1 78775 149 1

Can I Tell You About Self-Harm?

A Guide for Friends, Family and Professionals

Pooky Knightsmith

Foreword by Jonathan Singer

ISBN 978 1 78592 428 6

eISBN 978 1 78450 796 1

The Healthy Coping Colouring Book and Journal

Creative Activities to Help Manage Stress, Anxiety and Other Big Feelings

Pooky Knightsmith

Illustrated by Emily Hamilton

ISBN 978 1 78592 139 1

eISBN 978 1 78450 405 2

Using Poetry to Promote Talking and Healing

Pooky Knightsmith

Foreword by Catherine Roche and Dr Fiona Pienaar

ISBN 978 1 78592 053 0

eISBN 978 1 78450 323 9

Self-Harm and Eating Disorders in Schools

A Guide to Whole-School Strategies and Practical Support

Pooky Knightsmith

ISBN 978 1 84905 584 0

eISBN 978 1 78450 031 3

THINGS I GOT
WRONG SO YOU
DONT HAVE TO

48 Lessons to Banish Burnout
and Avoid Anxiety for Those
Who Put Others First

Pooky Knightsmith

Foreword by Nicola Brentnall

First published in Great Britain in 2022 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

An imprint of Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

An Hachette Company

Copyright Pooky Knightsmith 2022

Foreword copyright Nicola Brentnall 2022

The right of Pooky Knightsmith to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

All pages marked with can be downloaded for personal use with this programme, but may not be reproduced for any other purposes without the permission of the publisher.

Trigger warning: This book mentions anxiety, eating disorders, anorexia, rape and suicide.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library and the Library of Congress

ISBN 978 1 83997 267 6

eISBN 978 1 83997 268 3

Jessica Kingsley Publishers policy is to use papers that are natural, renewable and recyclable products and made from wood grown in sustainable forests. The logging and manufacturing processes are expected to conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

Jessica Kingsley Publishers

Carmelite House

50 Victoria Embankment

London EC4Y 0DZ

www.jkp.com

For Grant, who loves me just as I am.

It is an honour to write this Foreword for a dear friend and fellow traveller along the pot-holed highway of life. I have known Pooky for ten years and I have enjoyed her friendship and advice while she and I have both held demanding and challenging leadership roles as Directors, CEOs and Trustees. We have walked together through great days and dark times. I value her friendship more than I can say. I have travelled the world in pursuit of my work in youth-led international development and have been lucky to meet some truly exceptional people. Without hesitation, one of the most exceptional of all is Pooky.

Northern Lights , the first in Philip Pullmans masterpiece His Dark Materials, contains a moment that I think is perfect for the beginning of this, Pookys remarkable book. I say this because, like me, you may have come to these pages looking for answers to problems, some of which may have beset you for years. At the end of Northern Lights , the heroine, Lyra, walks into the sky, brave and resolute, towards a whole new world. Her purpose is to right grievous wrongs brought about by others and to fix mistakes she feels she, too, has made. In doing so, she chooses to face the future, and leave the past behind. That Pooky continues to write about mental health, and her own health and struggles to help other people, makes her for me a real-life Lyra fearless, resolute, determined to use her knowledge and experience, even at considerable personal cost, to lift people, to help them to put things right and to live again.

I first knew Pooky in her absence, rather than her presence. At the time, I had just joined the Board of an eating disorders charity. As a survivor myself, I was keen to find some way that I could bring my experience of charity leadership to an organization that needed practical help, some TLC and a reboot. At Board meetings, where Trustees drafted the future of the organization, like Macavity, Pooky wasnt there. We did not know, but it was a time when, in her own words, she was falling down the rabbit hole of a mental health crisis. None of us had any real idea of what she was going through. But when she could, she sent in observations, ideas, or even just a single insight on an issue we were considering. Every nugget was useful, every idea thoughtful, generous, kind. As a newbie, I was intrigued by our absent friend, and watched the other Trustees who knew her defend her fiercely. And over the weeks and months that followed, it became crystal clear to me why they did. Not only is Pooky exceptional in so many ways, she also truly understands the assignment. She has lived the experience and has ideas, suggestions, tactics and methods to help people tackle and overcome the challenges they face. Her insights were to us then, and to so many now, simply invaluable.