Jan Johnson - Living a Purpose-Full Life: What Happens When You Say Yes to God

L IVING A P URPOSE -F ULL L IFE
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921

Scriptures in this book, unless otherwise noted, are from The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV) , copyright 1973, 1978, 1984. International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. Also quoted are The Message, 1993, 1994, 1995 by Eugene H. Peterson, used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group; the King James Version of the Bible (KJV); Contemporary English Version copyright 1995 American Bible Society; The New Testament in Modern English, Revised Edition (Phillips) 1972 by J. B. Phillips. All used by permission, all rights reserved.

Copyright 1999 by Jan Johnson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
WATERBROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Johnson, Jan, 1947
Living a purpose-full life: what happens when you say yes to
God / Jan Johnson.1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-77994-6
1. Christian womenReligious life. I. Title.
BV4527.J635 1999
248.843dc21 98-50854

v3.1

D EDICATED TO

Pat Clary

and the women of

Womens Ministries Institute

Thanks goes, as always, to Greg Johnson, who reads nearly everything I write and is a writers dream of a husband as a skillful editor and affirmer. Thanks also to my writer-friend Ranelda Hunsicker, who read this manuscript, asked me difficult questions, and gave me great suggestions. She and Kay Lindskoog helped me think through biblical perspectives on self-worth. I also thank my editor, Liz Heaney, who helped birth the idea for this book and persuaded me to give it shape in ways I could never have conceived by myself.

My thanks and admiration go to the women who allowed me to interview them for this book: Miriam Adeney, Toni Baldwin, JoeAnn Ballard, Elaine Barsness, Sandy Burgess, Evelyn Curtiss, Sheila Lichacz, Elsie Purnell, Christina Riccardi, and Christine Sine. Their stories and insights have taught me more about what it means to be a woman with purpose and have created for me pictures that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

H ave you ever had one of those hectic days when you wondered, Would the disciples have run their lives with daily planners in little loose-leaf notebooks? Youve crossed off the errands on your to-do list and youve made all those telephone calls, but you wonder, Did God intend for my life to be so frantic?

Or perhaps youve found yourself having more life-defining moments, sitting in places such as hospital waiting rooms and wondering, Has my life counted for anything? Have I made a difference for someone else?

These two crosscurrentstoo much activity and too little meaninghave created a floating dissatisfaction among many women. The first is a surging torrent of morning-noon-and-night busyness while the other is a quiet ticking away of lifes minutes without purpose. These two processes can prompt a penetrating self-examination: Why am I doing these things? What is all this for?

If thats how you feel, you are not alone. While interviewing many women for this book and staying up late talking to others at retreats, Ive heard varied questions and comments regarding purpose in life, such as:

• I dont really like my job, but what can I do?
• Theres so much Id like to dohow do I decide?
• I may be fifty, but Im still trying to decide what to be when I grow up.

Linda, for example, has achieved her career goal of becoming a nurse manager, and although shes a competent one, she feels something is missing. She considered going to medical school to become a doctor. But I thought about it and figured out it was only so I could own a luxurious home and have more people look up to me.

It all eludes me. I go to church and read my Bible, but I dont make a difference in this world. After a wasted evening of unplanned television watching, I feel guilty. Sure, Im nice enough to fill in for other nurses when they have a sick kid at home, but I dont ever go the extra mile as Jesus said to. My work is my work and my faith is my faith. Patients represent more things to do, not people with souls that God loves.

Things came to a head when Linda attended her twenty-year high school reunion. I saw my life was ticking away. I have only a certain amount of time left. I want to do the things I thought were meaningful. Is what Im doing still meaningful to me? Ive got to figure that out.

Denise is at home with three children and enjoys the comings and goings of a moms life. But in the quiet moments, as she rocks her crying toddler, she wonders if the latchkey kids down the street can operate the microwave without burning themselves. She thinks about the bag lady who was digging scraps out of the dumpster at the fast-food restaurant and wonders where she sleeps. Yes, she says, Im taking care of my kids, but isnt there something we could do together to be like Jesus?

Mary began working as a bank teller years ago because I didnt want to think about my job after hours, so Id be free to focus on my husband and kids. Even though her children are now grown, her after-work hours are filled with running from one activity to anotherpicking up prescriptions, going to church meetings. She didnt think much about purpose until her friends son was diagnosed with AIDS and Mary helped care for him. After he died, she attended a grief support group with her friend. They helped each other so muchI envied that, Mary commented. I do good things, but is anyones life better because of what Ive done?

One night after giving a dinner party to entertain the big kahunas from her husbands office, Mary became almost angry as she cleaned up. Where am I going in life? she asked her husband. Yes, I care for you and I enjoy my job. But I want something to live and die for besides a clean kitchen counter and a car thats fun to drive. We havent made it this long together to do nothing, have we?

Women from twenty to seventy, single and married, are searching for meaning in the midst of their nonstop coming and going. Sometimes this questioning is spurred by decade birthdaysthirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventyor by an event such as a reunion at which we suddenly realize life is not a dress rehearsal. Sometimes its triggered by a loss or a failure: divorce, children leaving home, long-term unemployment, a mastectomy, or the death of a parent. That catastrophe creates a space in our lives, and we realize were not willing to go back to the hectic way things were.

Achievement can spawn introspection as well. A successful certified public accountant working for a large firm told me: When I chose this field, I was an insecure, bleached-blond nineteen-year-old. Ive achieved her goals and it wasnt such a big deal after all. What will I do now? Another woman whose last child was leaving home said to me, Will I ever find anything as meaningful as parenting my children?