Najwa Zebian - The Book of Healing: Selected Poetry and Prose

I am on a mission to accurately express my deepest emotions in words. My intention has always been to be as open, raw, and vulnerable as possibleto write about what Im really experiencing on the inside. I consider this a form of self-advocacy. I am humbled by the millions of people who have told me how they ache to give a voice to their deepest thoughts and feelings. Every person who has read my heart over the last four years has become my family. And my loved ones have sent me thousands of inquiries on themes of love, healing, and letting go.

The truth is, there are many books that will tell you how you should heal. The Book of Healing is not one of those. It honors that you are healingexactly as you need to be. There is no one path to healing, but the thought patterns and emotions involved are universal. My hope is that the pieces collected here will help you put words to your own pain. While I cannot guide you through your unique process of healing, I do seek to validate what you experience.

As you flip through the pages of this book, I hope you will hear my voice: I hear you. I see you. I understand you. I trust that reading my words will do for you what writing them did for me. If youve been here from the beginning, thank you for walking this journey with me. And if youre new, welcome to the journey of healing.

Najwa To the heart in you, dont be afraid to feel. To the sun in you, dont be afraid to shine. To the love in you, dont be afraid to heal. To the ocean in you, dont be afraid to rage. To the silence in you, dont be afraid to break. Of all the gifts I could give you, I choose to give the ones I needed when I was in my darkest moments.

You see, we all walk different paths, but there is one tragedy that all of us share: the struggle to be ourselves in a world that wants us to be anything but ourselves. Here is the gift of understanding when you are in a roomful of people looking right past the pain inside of you. Here is the gift of me too when you feel that you are the only one who thinks and feels the way you do. Here is the gift of kindness when the world bundles up its heartlessness and throws it at you. Here is the gift of love when you feel that the only love you deserve is that which others believe you are worthy of. May these gifts light up your way when darkness overtakes your path.

May these gifts allow your true self to emanate from within so that you may be your own light. To heal from your pain now, you need to go all the way back to chapter one. To page one. To the beginning of how it all began. For every ending, there is a once upon a time. For every broken soul, there is a once upon a happy soul.

For every phoenix soaring, there is a phoenix burning, turning to ashes, rising, then soaring. Let me hand you the matches to ignite the glory within your soul. Let me be the one who burns to ashes as you spark in your darkest of nights. As you rise. As you soar. The world sees that you are in pain and says: Let me give you a little more.

Youve handled this much. You can handle a bit more. chapter 1 FORGIVENESS Forgive and Forget It amazes me how we always remember how others have wronged us, but we forget how weve wronged others. We always tell ourselves to forgive but never forget. Here is my philosophy: If you want others to forgive you for what you have done wrong to them, then you should do the same. Some people need a second chance.

Some people need to forgive themselves for wronging themselves and others. You can be in either situation. We need to help others and ourselves by forgiving others and, yes, by forgetting the actions that theyve done as individuals. When you say never forget, it shouldnt mean that you will never forget the person doing the mistake but that you will never forget the mistake that was done so that you will remember how it made you feel and never do it to someone else. We are all humans. We all make mistakes.

Whether we are courageous and sincere enough to admit that is a different story. If you want a second chance at being the person who you want to be, then give that chance to others. Forgive people, and forget that they have made certain mistakes, but never forget the lessons that you learned from the mistakes they made. Be Considerate Be considerate of others before you expect them to be considerate of you. Dont freeze time and isolate events in the desire to give yourself the right to blame others for not treating you with whatever you define as right. In the grand scheme of things, it is probably your perception that needs to change.

Think before you speak, and reap what you sow. Dont ever seek refuge only in people, for if you do, they will fail you sooner or later. But if you seek refuge in and forgiveness from a power much greater than yourself, you will not be turned away, and your eyes will be opened to the right right. Inspire If you aim for perfect, you will always be disappointed. Dont expect everyone to be up to your expectations unless you are willing to live up to someone elses. We have to accept that no one is perfect and learn to let go of the mentality that people cant change.

People are not all born into the same environment, and they are not born with the same definition of what is right and what is wrong. What we see as someone making a mistake may only be our perception that something is wrong. Their perception may be that everything is completely fine. Sometimes all a person needs is to fall once or twice to learn on his or her own. Sometimes all a person needs is to come across those who will inspire him or her to change for themselves. Is it fair that we give up on people because of what theyve done in the past? Is it fair that we define people by their past rather than their progress toward their future? Be the person to inspire others to change if you can, and if you cant, then dont destroy them by confining them to what theyve done before.

Dont set people up for failure by showing them that theyre not good enough. When you make others feel that you believe in them and that you believe that they can change for themselves, you will see what a world of a difference you can make. After the End Moving on may take stages, yes. But humans do not heal in clear-cut steps, no. One moment, you may feel completely healed, and the next moment, the scent of a breeze that reminds you of them breathes the pain so freshly back into your flesh and rips your heart into pieces once again. You forgive them one day, and the next day your self-worth screams into every vein of yours, paralyzing you, begging you to be angry with them.

Some spend a lifetime healing, and some spend a lifetime wanting to heal. Self-forgiveness You told me that you were broken and that you wanted to heal. I did not know that your soul was glass. I did not know that your heart was dark. You aimed the broken pieces of your soul at my heart like arrows. I broke my soul trying to mend yours.

My fingertips bled as I weaved your soul back together. And my eyes dried up from the tears of my pain. I always believed that pain cleanses your soul as rain cleanses the earth. So I let my heart storm through my eyes. And once your soul came back together, you told me that I was broken. You told me that you were not a doctor and that your words were just words.