Ian Morgan Cron - The Road Back to You Study Guide

To know oneself is, above all, to know what one lacks.

Flannery OConnor

Welcome! Suzanne and I are so excited for you to begin this journey toward self-knowledge. In our experience there is nothing quite like the Enneagram. It describes, often with spooky accuracy, how you see and inhabit the world. It will teach you things about other people that will astound you as you learn to recognize the differences between you. It will show you the worst of you and the best of you, and help you celebrate the gifts you have. The wisdom of the Enneagram helps those who know it to understand differences, practice compassion, improve their relationships and find ways of being in the world that add meaning to their lives.

Theres great wisdom in the Enneagram for people who want to get out of their own way and move closer toward becoming the person they were created to be.

Over the next five sessions youll learn how to determine your type and understand it in relation to other numbers. Youll also learn more about your triad, which refers to the way that each Enneagram type is located in one of three centers grouped around a particular way of experiencing the world: through the gut (instinct), the heart (feelings) or the head (intellect). The more you know about your own type and the types of the people you love, the more you can cultivate greater empathy and a healthier balance of all three centers.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get the most from this guide over the next five weeks (or however long this takes youfeel free to take more time). First, this study guide is written so that you can go through it with a group or individually; you can either ask the questions to folks in your group or ask them to yourself privately. If youre doing the sessions alone, make sure that you are courageously and rigorously honest with yourself, since you wont have the benefit of other people to gently challenge your assumptions or self-understanding. Also, be sure not to rush. Try to devote the same amount of time each week that you would if you were part of a group and were expected to stay to the end. Thats especially true for the weeks that focus on numbers besides your own. Most importantly, throughout this journey continually offer yourself the gift of self-friendship. This work and life are too hard without it.

To the degree we remain ignorant of our worldview, of the messages and beliefs that for better or for worse have shaped who we are, we are prisoners of our history.

If you are learning this material with a group, do your best to be 100 percent present. If all goes well, people in your group will open their hearts and share deeply from their lives, so give them your attention. Get to every meeting, arrive on time, stay to the end, and turn off your phone and put it out of sight. Be curious and open-minded about different points of viewthe advantage of learning the Enneagram in a group is that youll get to hear firsthand what its like to see the world through the eyes of the other eight numbers. Do I need to say that you must promise to maintain strict confidentiality and create a safe climate for others to share their stories and experiences without fear of exposure or judgment? Never mind, I just did.

Whether you are doing this alone or in a group, be open to changing your mind and maybe even the way you relate to the world. A pox on anyone who says, People will have to get used to me being argumentative, Im an Eight or Ill always be overly dramatic, Im a Four. The point of learning your type is so you can relax your grip on those parts of your personality that are holding you back from living a fuller life, not so you can resign yourself to them. My spiritual director once said to me, Insight is cheap. What he meant was information is not transformation. Knowing your number casts a light on what should stay and what you can afford to let go in your life. Knowing its hard work will only help you grow in kindness and solidarity with others who face a similar journey.