InterVarsity Press
P.O. Box 1400,
Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426
ivpress.com
2018 by Suzanne Stabile
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from InterVarsity Press.
InterVarsity Press is the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA, a movement of students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges, and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, visit intervarsity.org.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
Cover design: David Fassett
Images: people walking: Ricardo Dias / EyeEm / Getty Images
wavy line background: Kalisson / iStock / Getty Images
Author photo: Courtney Perry
ISBN 978-0-8308-8646-3 (digital)
ISBN 978-0-8308-4643-6 (print)
Contents
Session 1:
The Best Part of You Is the Worst Part of You
Session 2:
What We Want
Session 3:
What We Fear
Session 4:
What We Offer
Session 5:
Keeping Each Other Forgiven and Free
Session 6:
Ways to Help Ourselves and Others
Introduction
Introduction
W elcome to The Path Between Us Study Guide! I am so glad you have decided to go deeper into the wisdom of the Enneagram. This ancient resource has much to offer as we seek to understand ourselves and those around us more fully. As we gain an appreciation for the gifts each of us brings to the table, along with the limitations and problems that are associated with each of the nine numbers, we are capable of offering ourselves, and the world, far more compassion. That offering is a gift for everyone.
Over the next six sessions, this study guide will focus on how each of us can grow and mature in the ways we relate to one another. While its never wise to guess at or assign Enneagram numbers to other people, we can honor the differences between us and the people we love by learning about the other eight Enneagram numbers. Keep in mind that in Enneagram understanding, your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. Its likely that the way you are in the worldfor example, the way you communicate or how you react when youre excitedis different from your siblings, colleagues, and friends.
Each session will focus on a different topic rather than an Enneagram number. This means it will be helpful to have read The Path Between Us before you begin your journey through this study guide since it doesnt follow the same chapter structure as the book. And youll probably find it helpful to refer to the book periodically as you journey from week to week.
It is also worth noting here that if all of this talk of Enneagram numbers isnt making much sense to you, now would be a good time to pause and read (or re-read!) The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery. That book is designed to help you identify your own Enneagram number and to give a brief overview of the other eight numbers. It will be important for ongoing Enneagram work that you have a good handle on the basics of your own number.
Because The Path Between Us explores the wisdom the Enneagram offers in helping us grow relationally, you might find it most helpful to do this study in a group. The content here is designed for groups of all sizes: a gathering in a home or at your church, or just three of you at your favorite coffee shop. (Of course, even if you decide to go through this study alone, there is still much wisdom to be gleaned.)
For any group, there are certain ground rules that will make the time together most productive and valuable for everyone.
- Make this group a priority. Make every effort to be here each week, to come on time, and to set your phone aside so you wont be interrupted. Each session is designed to last about ninety minutes, so make space in your life to be fully present for that window of time each week.
- Listen. Then listen again. As with any self-reflective work, when we discover new wisdom in the Enneagram, we are often eager to share with others what we are learning. Pay close attention to whether you are listening closely to others with the same enthusiasm you have for sharing your own epiphanies. This doesnt mean you should shut downoften the thing you have learned is the very thing someone else in the group needs to hearbut it does mean that on balance, you should be listening more than you are speaking.
- Be willing to take a risk. Depending on how well you know the others in your group, responding to some or all of these questions will require vulnerability. Often it is when were honest that we can truly learn from one another, so consider making the decision to take some risks as you work through this study.
- Make this a safe space. Other peoples stories are precisely thattheir stories. Some people will be sharing particularly vulnerable parts of themselves in this group. Please respect their privacy and honor their trust by not disclosing their personal stories and concerns to anyone outside the group.
Im so thankful youre here. The Enneagram has been so helpful in my life. It offers me compassion for myself and for others, wisdom in making space for people who dont see the world the way I do, and grace for the strangers I encounter along the way. Know that you have my prayers and best wishes as we all continue to work toward creating a world that offers more compassion and more peace as we walk beside one another on the journey.
Session 1
The Best Part of You Is the Worst Part of You
The truth is that all relationships are messy and unpredictable.
The Path Between Us
W elcome! In this first session, we will begin to get to know one another and explore the truth that each numbers greatest strength can also be a potentially damaging weakness.
We will start by naming the numbers of the people in our group and listing other people we know who have identified their Enneagram type and shared it with us. There is a tendency to want to assign numbers to people in our lives who dont yet know the Enneagram. That is seldom, if ever, beneficial. Your Enneagram number is not determined by your behaviorit depends almost entirely on your motivation for doing what you do, and that is difficult, if not impossible, for others to know.
If you are using this study guide and youre not in a group, then the best way for you to proceed would be to commit to looking at yourself in relation to what you have learned about every other number from either The Road Back to You or The Path Between Us.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Our Numbers
As the Enneagram teaches us, the best part of you is also the worst part of you. Read through Some of the Best and Worst of Us to see examples of what this looks like for each number.
Some of the Best and