Evan Owens - Healing Whats Hidden: Practical Steps to Overcoming Trauma

You Arent Broken; Youre Wounded

Trauma brought you hereto this moment, right now.

Down the road, youll remember this exact moment because youll look back and realize that this was the moment things started to change. This was the moment when you made a choice, a conscious decision, to move forward in spite of the pain, tragedy, and trauma youve walked through. There are over 220 million people living in the United States who have had a traumatic experience, and many of them will never truly heal.

But you will.

You will overcome trauma and embrace a brighter future because you are taking action. You are doing something about your trauma when many people do nothing.

In 2012, Jenny and I were sitting in a Chick-fil-A with our friend Jeff. He had served in the army as a medic during Operation Enduring Freedom, which you may know as the war in Afghanistan. He was in his early twenties but had the life experience of someone much older. It took more than a year of building trust with Jeff for him to finally open up about his traumatic experiences, and he chose to do it at 9:45 p.m. in a booth at Chick-fil-A.

There was so much blood on my boots, he began . I remember how cold my feet were because they were wet with their blood. To this very day, I wake up from nightmares and my feet are freezing.

He paused, trying to sort out the order of his experiences as a thousand memories flooded his brain. Why does it always have to be the neck? It seems like every time, it was a neck wound. His eyes flooded with tears as he wiped his cheek with a rough paper napkin.

No matter how hard I tried, I could never seem to save the ones with the neck wounds. There was always just so much blood, and I couldnt get it to stop.... They diedthey died in my arms, yall. We nodded as if we understood. He continued, I didntyou knowI dont know what to do with it. Im angry. Angry at myself for not being more capable, angry at them for dying, angry at the enemy for taking that cheap shot, angry at God for abandoning us. His tone shifted from sorrow to resentment.

The whole thing is just the worst... completely FUBAR, he said as he looked away, took a deep breath, and regained his composure.

The conversation went on into the middle of the night. We asked him questions about his deployment, and he shared stories of those he had lost. He cried, we cried, we hugged, and a bond formed that has never been (and will never be) broken.

He was right. The whole thing was awful. Absolutely gut-wrenching. But it wasnt FUBAR. In the military, the term FUBAR is an abbreviated way of saying that something is broken beyond all repair. His story and experiences are tragic and will require years of healing, but Jeff isnt broken beyond repair.

Trauma doesnt discriminate. White, Black, military, civilian, gay, straight, rich, poor, Christian, Muslim, atheistnot one of us is outside the reach of trauma. It can touch our lives at any age, stage, or place. It can come through the actions of a stranger or through the touch of a trusted family member. It may strike suddenly as a single defining moment or seep in slowly, almost undetected, over many years of abuse or neglect. Trauma impacts the whole of usour minds, bodies, souls, and spirits. In an all-out attack, trauma targets our self-esteem, trust in humanity, emotional well-being, and even our hope for the future. It is as elusive and tough to defeat as any enemy could be.