Perfectly
Yourself
ALSO BY MATTHEW KELLY
Resisting Happiness
The Rhythm of Life
The Seven Levels of Intimacy
The Dream Manager
Rediscover Jesus
Off Balance
Building Better Families
Book of Courage
A Call to Joy
Mustard Seeds
The Long View
Why Am I Here?
and others
PERFECTLY YOURSELF
Copyright 2006 and 2017 Beacon Publishing
First Edition published by Ballantine Books, an imprint of The Random House Publishing Group
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.
Scripture passages have been taken from
New Revised Standard Version Bible
Copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.
Hardcover ISBN-978-1-63582-011-9
Paperback ISBN-978-1-63582-012-6
Ebook ISBN-978-1-63582-013-3
Design by Madeline Harris
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Kelly, Matthew, author.
Title: Perfectly yourself : discovering Gods dream for you / Matthew Kelly.
Description: THIRD EDITION. | North Palm Beach, Florida : Beacon Publishing, Inc., 2017.
Identifiers: LCCN 2017029671| ISBN 9781635820119 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781635820126 (softcover) | ISBN 9781635820133 (e-book)
Subjects: LCSH: Self-realization.
Classification: LCC BJ1470 .K45 2017 |
DDC 158.1dc23
For more information visit:
www.MatthewKelly.com
THIRD EDITION
[1]
Printed in the United States of America
Contents
FOR DECADES WE HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT WE LIVE IN a consumer society. At this point I doubt many would argue with the assertion, but I do have some questions. Are we still the consumers, or are we being consumed? Have we lost something of ourselves to this unbridled consumerism? Can we get it back?
I look around, and it seems everything has a brand on it these days. The proliferation of brands has blanketed our society and has powerfully impacted our psyche. Again I have some questions. What did we first use branding on? Cattle. What did the branding signify? Ownership. What was our second use of branding? Slavery. And that branding signified what? Ownership. Do we own the brands or do the brands own us? Are we still the consumers, or are we being consumed?
Gods dreams for you and me go so far beyond what the world has to offer. He made each and every single one of us wonderfully unique, and he dreams that we will chase, embrace, and celebrate all he created us to be: the-very-best-version-of-ourselves.
Though we take pride in our individualism and independence, we seem particularly enamored of fitting in. To a certain extent, the desire to fit in and be accepted is natural and normal. But when it comes at the cost of losing sight of who we are as marvelously unique individuals, something is amiss.
Let us seek to discover once more what it means to be perfectly ourselves.
One
Are You Making Progress?
Our differences as individuals are fascinating and wonderful, and this book is about exploring and celebrating what makes us unique. But I want to begin by identifying what drives our desire to become perfectly ourselves. In my work with millions of people over the past twenty-five years, I have often stood in awe of how wonderfully unique God created us as individuals, but I have also been intrigued by the astonishing similarities that exist between men and women of all ages and cultures, all countries and creeds. The greatest of these similarities is what I like to call the hunger: a common yearning in peoples hearts for something more or for something that has been lost, a yearning that seems to be growing stronger and deeper with every passing day.
Some people associate this hunger with a desire for more money or more sex. Others respond to this hunger by seeking the perfect partner, thinking that this one person will calm the yearning once and for all. Others collect possessions or amass power in an attempt to quell the hunger. But it seems unquenchable, insatiable. There are some who associate the hunger with a need for more fulfillment in the workplace. Others sense that something is wrong but cannot quite put their finger on it, so they take journeys hoping to discover something about themselves.
Sooner or later this hunger tends to lead most people to the area of personal development. Some people turn their attention to health and well-being, others to gaining financial independence, others to improving a relationship, and some to spirituality.
The hunger is really a desire for connection and union with God. It also manifests as a desire to be more perfectly yourself, because every step toward the-best-version-of-yourself is a step toward God. It can express itself in hundreds of ways, but all are born from the single desire to feel more at home with who you are. Regardless of what area of personal development you choose to focus on at this time in your life, there are certain stages and pitfalls that are common to all. They all share a common psychology of change. This book is about understanding the dynamics of change, the change that we desire but that so often eludes us.
Trying to lose weight is a perfect example.
Every January, a slew of new diet books are published. Many people have gained weight over the holidays, and publishers know we will resolve at New Years to slim down. One of these books will break out and hit the top of all the best-seller lists. Everyone will be talking about it. The diet will be presented as miraculous. People will flock to the book. Everybody will rave about it as if simply reading the book will cause weight to fall from bodies as effortlessly as beads of sweat.
The thing is, you and I both know that twelve months ago they were talking about another book in the same way. And next year, there will be more new and amazing diet books. Editors in all the Manhattan publishing houses are sitting at their desks right now trying to figure out what will be the next big diet book.
People seem obsessed with losing weight, and yet Americans are becoming more and more obese with every passing year. Is it just me, or is there a massive disconnect here?
This book is about that disconnect. Regardless of what area of your life you would like transformed, I want to show you how we bridge the gap between our desire for change and actually creating real and sustainable change in our lives.
A MOMENT OF TRUTH
From time to time my best friends will get this look on their faces, and I know exactly what I am about to hear: Matthew, get honest with yourself! I love that. They dont say it that often, so when they do it means something.
I think we all need moments of honesty from time to time. We need them as individuals, as couples, as families, and as nations. In the area of personal development, we are in desperate need of a moment of truth. We need to get honest with ourselves.
