Tracy Busse - Calm Through Chaos: How to Build Resilience and Thrive Through Life

Disclaimer

This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

Published by Brolga Publishing Pty Ltd

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PO Box 12544

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Melbourne, VIC, 8006

Australia

email: markzocchi@brolgapublishing.com.au

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Copyright 2019 Tracy Busse

National Library of Australia

Cataloguing-in-Publication data

Tracy Busse, author.

ISBN 9780648564614 (paperback)

9780909608514 (ebook)

Printed in Australia

Cover design and Typesetting by Elly Cridland

BE PUBLISHED

Publish through a successful publisher. National Distribution through Woodslane Pty Ltd

International Distribution to the United Kingdom, North America Sales Representation to South East Asia

Email: markzocchi@brolgapublishing.com.au

Dedication

For the source of my life,

Leon (& Terri) and Jeannie (& Allen).

For my brother Pierre,

who didnt get to tell his story.

For my life-saver and hero, Andrew.

For the future, Taine and Kayla.

Contents

I have no bitterness in my heart. I think Life is very beautiful. I have had some very great moments of beauty. I have known the heights of great happiness. I have loved and been loved, I am rich in many things.

Desm Anderson

D esm Anderson (nee Tait) was known to her grandchildren as Golly. Named by my eldest cousin Robyn, the endearment stuck. From 1953 to 1972 Golly wrote a diary addressed to her two daughters, my mother (Jeannie Cameron Duncan) and my aunt (Heather Ursula Cameron Duncan). My mother recently died from a rare incurable stage four esophageal cancer and I found among her things this most precious diary where my Golly shared her innermost thoughts and feelings towards her girls and her wishes for their futures. She also shared her struggles with the war years, marriage, divorce and her long and difficult battle with breast cancer, which eventually took her at age 57. My grandmother Desm donated her body to medical research, on her memorial plaque are these words:

We are the earths best that learnt her lesson here.

Life is our cry. We have kept the faith.

Finding my Gollys diary was a wonderful surprise and showed me that we can live on through our writing and words. It certainly gave me a precious insight into her life and inspired me to write a letter to my two children, which then flowed on to writing this book and sharing my journey with you.

This is my story. A story of pain, loss, heartache, uncertainty and suffering. It is also a story of survival, strength, resilience and finding life. A story that, at times, feels difficult for me to believe. I pinch myself and remember that yes indeed, this is my life. I am just a regular, ordinary person, going about my life raising a family surely things like this dont happen to people like me? I anticipate that by reading my story, you will contemplate your own story and like me, you will find love, joy, creativity and gratitude in the process.

A Wave Crashes: Chaos and survival at the bottom of the ocean

I must be brave because its expected of me, but really, I am not very brave at all. Help me God, in these dark hours of despair.

Desm Anderson

O h dear, I am trying to be as positive as possible and deal with my issues and grief and next thing I know, I am lying in ICU. This takes me a few days to comprehend. What happened? Why is my dad here? Over a few days I gradually absorb and attempt to understand the story that I am told

At 2 am on August 2nd 2010, my husband Andrew woke to gurgling sounds. He thought I was dreaming and tried to wake me but I was unresponsive. He checked for a pulse. There wasnt one! My heart had stopped for an unknown period and the noises that he heard were my breathing closing down as well. He called 000 and the operator spoke him through CPR, which was tricky as there wasnt much space on my side of the bed and he had to get me across the bed and then down onto the floor. He said that I was a dead weight, completely lifeless. He started CPR. It was 17 minutes from the time of his 000 call to when the fire brigade arrived and restarted my heart with defibrillation. I am sure that was the longest 17 minutes of his life and I still dont know how long my heart had actually been stopped.

Andrew said the hardest thing was stepping away from me to go and unlock the door to let the firemen into the house. Yes, our firemen are CPR trained and are dispatched along with an ambulance in the event of a cardiac arrest, as every minute counts and can increase the chance of survival.

Once the ambulance had arrived, my husband was able to go and wake our elderly neighbours and ask for their assistance in looking after the children while he went to hospital with me. Our children (three and seven at the time) had woken by this stage with many sets of sirens and of course paramedics and firemen up and down our passageway right passed their bedrooms. They were asked to close their eyes and taken into the lounge area to sit with our neighbours while I was treated and loaded onto a stretcher and taken into the ambulance. I dont know what happened during that time but when I got home from hospital six weeks later, my pillow was gone and there was a large blood stain on our carpet it looked like a murder scene.

I was taken to hospital, still unconscious. I dont have any memories of the incident, the three days of induced coma or even the weekend prior to it. This could be due to the drugs used to induce the coma, however I think of this memory loss as a kindness. While in the coma my family were told that I might not come out of it and even if I did, my physical and mental state might be altered. They bravely faced some dark days.

A Swell Forms

Tracy du Plessis my fourth precious granddaughter was born on June 13th 1968, bringing with her so much happiness for all of us.

Desm Anderson

I grew up in the Fish Hoek Valley of Cape Town, South Africa, where my maternal side of the family had lived since my great grandmother, Dolly Tait, moved there in the 1920s. By all accounts I was the toddler who needed taming. A wild spirited, fiercely independent little girl who was an adventurous explorer. I had a vivid imagination and was very strong willed but at the same time I was soft hearted and loved my family, dogs and the beach more than anything else in the world. I continue to be passionate about the sea to this day and use it as an inspiration in my business and life in general. Ironically, my brother Pierre, who was the timid and cautious one, went on to become a big wave surfer, waterman and pioneer. Sadly, Pierre is no longer here. I am.