Hilary Crawford - The Day I Fell Off My Bicycle: A Personal Account of Coming to Terms with Quadriplegia

The Day I Fell
Off My Bicycle

A Personal Account of Coming
to Terms with Quadriplegia

Hilary Crawford

Published in Australia by Sid Harta Publishers Pty Ltd,
ABN: 46 119 415 842
23 Stirling Crescent, Glen Waverley, Victoria 3150 Australia
Telephone: +61 3 9560 9920, Facsimile: +61 3 9545 1742
E-mail:

First published in Australia 2019
This edition published 2019
Copyright Hilary Crawford 2019
Cover design, typesetting: WorkingType (www.workingtype.com.au)

The right of Hilary Crawford to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Crawford, Hilary
The Day I Fell Off My Bicycle: A Personal Account of Coming to Terms with Quadriplegia
ISBN: 978-1-925230-68-0
pp214

CONTENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hilary was born in England and at age 18 migrated to Australia in 1963 to be with the rest of her family. She trained as a nurse and was in that profession for 25 years. During this time she graduated both from college and university. She worked in London for a year and then in Switzerland for two years learning to ski and speak French properly. She travelled extensively through Europe, Asia and India. Hilary met David her husband to be in 1974 on a skying trip in Australia. In 1989 she was involved in a serious bicycle accident. At the time she was the team leader of a community rehabilitation service but the accident left her a ventilator dependent quadriplegic. In early 1993 she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died the following year from that disorder.

FOREWORD

Many people have described Hilary as being brave and courageous. Hilary describes herself in this story as someone who just got on with living her life. Two very important aspects of Hilarys character were her ability to live life and her overwhelming love and concern for her fellow humans. Despite all the problems she faced and the extreme level of her disabilities, she worked hard to build the most satisfying and fulfilling life possible.

This was not something new, a character trait developed as a result of her accident, rather it was something which has characterised her whole approach to life. Life may not have been easy, but it was for living. Hilary loved people and was deeply concerned about their welfare. This love was a dominant factor in her working life. One of the things she regretted most after her accident was that she could no longer continue working as a nurse helping other people. Despite that, loving and caring continued to be important aspects of her life. Both of these aspects of Hilary are very evident in this book. I hope you enjoy reading The Day I Fell Off My Bicycle.

David Foster | Strathalbyn, 29 October 1994

Dedicated to
Freda Mary (Molly) Crawford
(1920 - 2019)
A long life lived so well

One

The Accident

I continued to drift on feeling incredibly serene, secure and warm.

I t is ironic that I rode my bike all the way from Sydney to Melbourne without any major mishaps, the only issues being a worn chain and a sore knee from pushing too hard one day. Yet three months later I was to have an accident on a quiet Sunday morning which was to dramatically alter mine and my husbands life. How did it happen? My husband, David, and I rode from Marrickville in Sydney where we lived, to Centennial Park. We rode around the park and had breakfast in a caf. Then we did another couple of laps, stopped to talk to friends and then rode out of the park. We rode down the road and turned right into the main road.

As we approached Anzac Parade, I slowed down a little as we were intending to turn left at the next set of traffic lights. I was looking ahead deciding whether to speed up as the lights were changing to green when I noticed something black rolling toward me out of the very corner of my eye. Before I had time to register what it was or what direction it was coming from, I came to a sudden and dramatic halt. I looked down and saw a large, thick piece of black truck tyre jammed up between the mudguard and the front wheel of my bike. I found it strangely hard to move as I crashed slowly into the kerb. My hands and feet seemed glued to the bicycle. My head hit the kerb with a resounding crash, but my helmet took the force of the impact.

David stopped a few yards up ahead. Are you all right, Hils? he asked.

No, I replied, cant breathe.

Then I started to die. Everything was sepia coloured, like old photographs. There were a whole lot of people elegantly dressed standing around on a lawn drinking champagne out of flute glasses. David was amongst them wearing a cream dinner jacket and bow tie. I walked past him touching him lightly on the arm.

I love you, I said.

I love you too, he replied.

I noticed one of my colleagues from work. I wonder what hes doing here, I thought. Then I realised that everyone there were people I knew or had known; family, friends and colleagues. I seemed to take it all in at a split-second glance. I recognised a friend who had died some years ago, but this did not seem remarkable. I felt happy to see him. Though I felt tempted to stay, I was in a hurry, and I passed on moving swiftly and lightly through a forest of long waving chiffon scarves. I could feel them brushing against my arms, breast and face like a gentle massage. Suddenly I was floating high up in the air. Looking down on the scene of the accident far below, I saw an Intensive Care ambulance stopped near the median strip, its lights flashing and a group of people working on someone lying with their head near the kerb.

I wonder who that is, I thought idly.

I continued to drift on feeling incredibly serene, secure and warm. I had said goodbye to everyone whom I knew and loved. I had said goodbye to myself, Hilary Crawford, and all that that implied. Now it was just me, my spirit (for want of a better word), floating, feeling wonderfully free in the velvety blackness.

Swallow, swallow! shouted a raucous voice in my ear.

Go away, I thought crossly. I dont want to be part of this nightmare. Im having a beautiful dream. I returned to the waving scarves.

Swallow, the voice persisted. Swallow, damn you!

My throat hurt. This isnt a nightmare, I thought with horror, this is reality.

The accident came back to me in a rush, and I realised that I was lying on a trolley in casualty. Someone was trying to pass a nasogastric tube (a tube which is passed via the nose into the stomach). With an incredible effort, I let go of the dream and swallowed.

In the meantime, when I had said to David, I cant breathe, he thought, oh shit. Now Ill have to give mouth to mouth resuscitation, and Ive never done it before. An off-duty nurse and an ambulance driver had seen the accident, and they stopped to help. They immediately started mouth to mouth resuscitation. A few minutes later an Intensive Care ambulance on the way to another accident stopped to render assistance. I was taken to the nearest hospital where I woke up.

I tried to open my eyes but everything was so bright, and I closed them again. People were talking, I think it was about me, but I did not really take in what they were saying. I swallowed again, and my throat hurt. Then I realised that I had an endotracheal tube in place and someone was hand-ventilating me. (An endotracheal tube is a short tube which is passed via the nose or the mouth down into the air passage or trachea. In my case, it had been connected to an airbag and someone was pumping air into my lungs by hand. Then I remembered that I could not breathe. I was lifted on a frame onto a trolley and wheeled out to an ambulance. I could feel the sun on my face and tried to open my eyes again, but the light hurt. A male voice advised me to keep my eyes closed as the sun was very bright. I was now in the ambulance being driven very slowly and carefully.