Seanta Conyers - Please Dont Say You Love Me

PLEASE

DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME

Seanta Conyers

Please Dont Say You Love Me 2021

Written By: Seanta Conyers

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission of the publisher or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations embodied in the critical articles or reviews and pages where permission is specifically granted by the publisher or author.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

MEMOIR DISCLAIMER: I have tried to recreate events, locales and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain anonymity, in some instances I have changed the names of individuals and places, I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence.

Publishing Services By: Pen Legacy

Cover By: Christian Cuan

Formatting By: U Can Mark My Word Editorial Services

Editing Services By: Candice Ordered Steps Johnson

Library of Congress Cataloging in- Publication Data has been applied for.

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to God. When I had nothing and no one in my life, God kept me.

Three years ago, a horrific tragedy almost caused me to lose my mind. Instead of checking on me, the very ones I trusted laughed and gossiped about my painbut God kept me! On the days when I could barely pry myself from the bed simply to go to work and function, God was my strength. Im nothing without Him.

Everything Ive accomplished is by the grace of God. Thank You, Lord, for removing negativity from my life and replacing it with better, even when I didnt understand what You were doing. Youve turned my pain into peace and birthed purpose from my pain.

If you are dealing with loneliness, depression, or a broken heart and dont know where to begin your healing process, I encourage you to read your Bible and turn to God. He will make your crooked path straight, just as He did for me.

All glory goes to You, God. Thank You for loving me!

PLEASE

DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME

Im a fiercely private person.

The thing about me is, I dont meddle in other peoples business so they wont feel comfortable inserting themselves into mine. Lifes more peaceful that way. Peace isnt a dream for me; its a lifestyle.

Ive dealt with so much strife in my life that peace is crucial. I dont care if its family or friends; anyone threatening my peace is expendable. After surviving a seven-year abusive relationship, years of heartbreak, childhood trauma, toxic relationships, and navigating through a painful divorce, I have zero tolerance for strife.

Enduring extensive heartbreak has enabled me to handle life on my terms. I was once a very broken woman, determined to fix myself. However, two years ago, my life took a drastic turn, leaving me with little hope for recovery. Either Id get help, or I wouldnt survive.

Ive always been the woman who is there for everyone else, but when I was at my lowest, help ran dry. Admittedly, Ive always kept adversity to myself, especially heartbreak and hurt. If anything bad was happening in my life, the only ones who knew about it were God and me. I mastered dealing with struggles on my own, so other peoples feelings werent sacrificed during my healing process. You know what they say: Hurt people hurt people. Since Ive experienced so much pain, trust is difficult for me.

The few times I opened up and shared my heart with others, they either used it against me or gossiped about it with someone else. I have a powerful testimony that Ive never considered sharing until a few years ago when I decided Id had enough. It was time to make some drastic changes in my life, and those changes began with me.

As crazy as it sounds, I used to be ashamed of my pain. I was too embarrassed to testify, but I was compelled to share it in order to help someone else either overcome similar issues or prevent it from happening to them.

In the midst of my shame, God showed me why I need to share my story.

When theres a calling on our life and Gods waiting for our YES, when Hes waiting for us to surrender our hearts to Him completely, the devil will work overtime to trap us in chaos because he has seen our future and what God is about to do for us. It's his job to distract us by keeping us so focused on our past and the current trauma we're in that we lose hope. But, again, thats his job; ours is not to listen to him.

My focus wasnt on what the devil wanted me to do I kept it on God. In fact, I focused so much on Him that the devil manifested in my life as a mate. He was a man whom I believed embodied all the qualities I was looking for in a partner. However, I quickly learned never to look for the devil to show up rocking red horns and a cape. The devil comes as everything weve ever desired. He may not know our thoughts, but he hears our prayers.

which allows him to use them against us.

In the beginning of my spiritual walk with God, He swiftly began removing people from my life. When God wants to bless us with better things and people in our lives, Hell give us instructions to release certain things. Instead of us following Gods instructions meant for our good, we selfishly hang on to what He asks us to let go of out of fear of the unknown, including people. We would rather cling to toxic relationships, thinking we truly know the person were with and negating the fact that theyre poisonous to us. Instead of leaving the person alone, we settle, fearful that we cant replace the hollow relationship and will end up alone. When God intervenes, however, He always steps in with better for us than before.

A spiritual season is a reflection of change ordained by God. Just like natural seasons change each year, our lives must also change. God loves and wants the best for us. Not following His direction could potentially trap us in the season were currently in until we do what He says.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under Heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

There was a time in my life when I was desperate to be loved by a man, but God clearly told me a relationship wasnt what I needed during that season of my life. All I needed was His love, and He wanted me to be still. His way of getting me to be still was by removing certain people, places, and things from my life.

This point of my journey was HARD. The damage I suffered wouldve happened no matter what choices I made because God had already written it. He knew the obstacles I had to endure and what I needed to go through to write my story.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Having a pure heart means you are blameless, unstained from guilt, where your thoughts, desires, purpose, will, understanding, and character resides. To be pure in heart means being blameless in who we are.